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d.faced

was curious about the facebook phenomenon so i created a page. earlier, i had received two queries (two more than i was expecting) from high school friends neither of which i responded to. but today i was thrown offstride when i got an email from a friend i hadnt heard from or probably thought much about since he moved out of our town in the fifth or sixth grade. he did remind me that we went to soccer camp together, a fact that had been scrubbed from my recollection of that adventure. the thick white bread used for the french toast in the cafeteria remains indelibly etched however.

- dave 12-16-2008 5:08 am [link] [add a comment]

jumor me

Millie accompanied her husband Maurice to the doctor's office.

After he had given Maurice a full checkup, the doctor called Millie into his office, alone. He said, "Maurice is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.

Each morning, wake him up gently with a long and passionate kiss, then fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times and make sure he is always in a good mood. Cook him only his favourite meals, lunch and dinner and allow him to fully relax after each. Don't burden him with any chores and don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. Don’t argue with him, even if he criticises you or makes fun of you. Let him be as arrogant as he wants to be. Try to relax him in the evening by wearing see-through lingerie. Give him plenty of ‘full relief’ body massages. Encourage him to watch all the sport he can on the TV, even if it means missing your favourite programs. And most importantly, make full and passionate love with Maurice every evening after dinner and satisfy his every whim. I suggest you also make oral love to him mid morning and mid afternoon.

If you can do all of this, every day, for the next 6 months, I think Maurice will regain his health completely."

On the way home, Maurice asks Millie: "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.


- dave 12-08-2008 8:15 am [link] [add a comment]






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