drat fink

ive got presence for everyone

back in the sad dull again. and just in time too, but for what i have no idea.

it was a tearful goodbye as i made my way to el aeropuerto. however, they were not shed for me but because of me. the twenty minute drive was too much of a burden for poor little aireta whose playdate with cousins was interrupted on my behalf. well, not exactly. playtime was over but the two were associated in her mind and no truth was to impede her tantrum. and it took an enormous amount of patience for me not to tender my less than laudatory appraisal of her antics. while her mother cajoled i fumed. so i felt not an uncertain amount of relief once my foot reached out for the curbstone and i was relieved of the need to be judicious in my consideration of the little ones. but the fates would have at me again as i was seated next to a thirteen month old boy with a proclivity for banging on anything within reach. god bless the ipod for without which i may be composing this post in shackles.

thats it for the moment. i have to reaquaint myself with the sofa and the tv. but yo, whats with the freakin cold?

come fly with me

im off in the am. first to old san juan for a night. then either a short plane or ferry ride to vieques for a few days with my friends and their two girls. after that its unclear what we'll do. ill probably spend time at their house in naguabo. i dont really like to plan these things. in fact, i dont even really like to go. shopping for the trip was brutal enough.

anyway, off to bed. i am looking forward to the disconnect from the newstunnel. i hope to forget i even know what an 'atrios' is. bill, im leaving you in charge. make sure tom doesnt hurt anybody while im gone. and see if you can option any of those screenplays ive been knocking around. i know theres gold in there, i just know there is. (glint of light glances of toothy grin.)

hamstrung out

to pod or not to pod?

jerked chicken

"I now fully grasped that Laqueur was on to something both weird and important. How could I not have anticipated it? Had I not read Portnoy's Complaint or watched Seinfeld? During the last administration, the surgeon general, Jocelyn Elders, was fired, or so it was claimed, for her apparent endorsement of the public health values of masturbation. At a Miami news conference, President Bill Clinton said that her views on the subject reflected "differences with administration policy and my own convictions." Masturbation is virtually unique, in the array of more or less universal human behaviors, in arousing a peculiar and peculiarly intense current of anxiety."

roll with it

"Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads.

Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

That womans as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride - a little light in the belfry.

Gal reminds me of the highway between Ft. Worth and Dallas - no curves.

As bare as a cooch dancer's midriff.

Boy's like a dead horse - got no get up and go...

Hey boy, you cover about as much as a flapper's skirt in a high wind.

She's tryin' to make a pantywaist out of that poor kid.

That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.

If kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

Well, barbeque my hamhocks!

That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oat meal.

That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart.

Look sister, is any of this filtering through that little blue bonnet of yours?

You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'.

The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

I've got this boy as figgity as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.

Newest additions:

You look like two miles of bad road

That boy's just like a tattoo...gets under your skin

This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!

I-I-I know what you're gonna say son. When two halves is gone there's nuthin' left - and you're right. It's a little ol' worm who wasn't there. Two nuthins is nuthin'. That's mathematics son. You can argue with me but you can't argue with figures. Two half nuthins is a whole nuthin'."

ruby to stay

my parents were married forty years ago today. someone should really wish them well. so, whos up for it? or there must be a holiday-specific animated gif which is uniquely impersonal that i could send. something with dancing bears and the rolling stones, i hope.

friendly reminder

yo mf, that counter terrorism dude is on 60 minutes tonight.

edgy material

"A kind of travel book for armchair circumambulators, written in a meandering, essayistic style, it chronicles the past, present and future of Manhattan along its edges. It's a lively, engaging hybrid, blending reportage, history, personal memoir and literary and architectural criticism.

The book ambles northward along the Hudson, from the Battery to Inwood, then takes in the East River, from lower Manhattan to Highbridge Park. Along the way, the author comments on buildings and open space, recalls movies and novels set on the waterfront, recounts political battles that shaped it, suggests civic improvements, unearths little-known bits of history and lore."

via gothamist

wash inc machine

wow. kevin drum didnt just get a blog at The Washington Monthly, he is The Washington Monthly.

report cord

The Iraq on the Record Report, prepared at the request of Rep. Henry A. Waxman, is a comprehensive examination of the statements made by the five Administration officials most responsible for providing public information and shaping public opinion on Iraq: President George W. Bush, Vice President Richard Cheney, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Colin Powell, and National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.