drat fink

spit shined

maybe i should have dratfink be a compendium of my finkish outbursts. and if you are thinking thats what it already was, well, youd probably be more right than wrong.

offered someone a can of beer that was left in my fridge, a gift from one of my many admirers. the object of my largesse requested a napkin to clean off the top of the can, an ablution he said he performed on all canned comestibles prior to intake. i made a move toward a piece of cloth hanging from a cabinet door in order to render complete this act of kindness, at which point said object of said largesse made a point of saying that said piece of cloth was an unacceptable alternative. now, i havent had napkins in my apartment for years but i just happen to have some now and they just happen to have been hanging in a bag just next to the aforementioned cloth. so i reached into the bag of napkins and pulled one out, then wrapped it around the beer. but my general disgust at the request and the tone with which it had been leveled required some sort of response. and i found a perfectly good one, too, welling up in the recesses of my pharynx. thats right, just before thrusting the beer forward into his germaphobic mitts, i spat on the top of the can. needless to say, that beer went unconsumed.

so let that be a lesson to you, if you take a can of beer from my fridge, youd better wipe it clean, it might be, um, unsterile. just dont ask for a napkin.

"double drat"

bounding up the charts. subscribed yet? (i know you want to know what i ate for breakfast last week.) 20% more solipsistic than the original. guaranteed!

double your pleasure

fink forward?

now thats what i call a free market! i can finally afford to hire 50cent for my daughters bat mitzvah!

WASHINGTON -- American contractors swindled hundreds of millions of dollars in Iraqi funds, but so far there is no way for Iraq's government to recoup the money, according to US investigators and civil attorneys tracking fraud claims against contractors.

a pain in the ass is a pain in the ass

one of you gentiles want to make a distinction?

Nudge -- One who persistently pesters, annoys, or complains.

Kvetch -- To complain persistently and whiningly.

green machine

added this crap to my pristine carrot/beet/celery/ginger/garlic juice today in an effort to cut back on the number of pills im trying to choke down every day which is in the neighborhood of a dozen. not particularly tasty, and it turned my deep red juice into a shit brown muck. i had to throw it in the blender just to get it to mix properly. not particularly appetizing.

duke nukem

dont poke the billmonster.

no comment

link to blog post

crash bang boom

new york review of books reviews a book! its that daily kos thing that nobodys talking about.

via sir digby

wild bore

this bit of political theatre is wildly embarrassing. poor scotty, it must be hard to make such an ass of yourself every day. beats working at blockbuster, i suppose.