what moron would ever choose off-white self-adhesive linoleum floor tiles for an uneven paint splattered kitchen?

dave, let me introduce you to the mop and the broom. they will be your guide and companion on this long and arduous journey towards funk-free footfalls. dont let the dirt spewing from that hole in the ceiling or the one under the sink deter you. fear not the ubiquitous mouse or roach droppings on your path or in your pantry. (literally just saw a mouse.) for it must be true that cleaniness brings you closer to god. and while i cant quite make out his glimmering aura in the floor tiles, its pine-fresh shine is heaven sent.