I live about a block from the Williamsburg bridge and this creates a good bit of noise. The worst offender is a particular kind of truck. It's the size of a regular 18 wheeler, but instead of the standard container, these trucks carry the large sized dumpsters you see at big construction sites. The reason they are so bad is that the dumpster is not firmly attached to the bed of the truck. If the truck goes over a bump the dumpster can actually be bounced up into the air. That's not the bad part though. It's when it comes back down into contact with the truck. Ouch. I mean loud. Like a bomb. A particularly loud one happened last night while I was asleep. In one moment I sprung out of bed and covered the few steps to the window absolutely sure another building had been brought down.
Things like this make me realize I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's not overwhelming. I can go about my life. But deep down I expect another event. Not logically, but in my bones. I still don't have an adequate expression for what I felt watching the towers fall. I can remember the whole thing perfectly. I can still feel what I was feeling at that time. I just can't describe the feeling in words. Even to myself. It's not english-able. And I think this makes it stay with me. It's as if, since I can't say it, I have to live it over and over.
I wonder if it will always be this way?
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Things like this make me realize I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's not overwhelming. I can go about my life. But deep down I expect another event. Not logically, but in my bones. I still don't have an adequate expression for what I felt watching the towers fall. I can remember the whole thing perfectly. I can still feel what I was feeling at that time. I just can't describe the feeling in words. Even to myself. It's not english-able. And I think this makes it stay with me. It's as if, since I can't say it, I have to live it over and over.
I wonder if it will always be this way?
- jim 9-06-2002 8:59 pm