Ideas And Insults
It did not make imperfect sense when Jacque said it, that I should get a Koala Bear to tend to the bamboo instead of engaging in all these labor-intensive efforts.
I had used a sawzall to cut down a couple hundred fifteen foot stalks the other day and yesterday he and I were slicing through the large piles with a circular saw. The more manageable six-foot lengths we were then grouping into not so heavy bundles, which we contained with twine.
Before loading these many bundles into the bed of my truck and securing them with criss-crossing tie-down straps, we had loaded up and hauled to the dump on Elysian Fields, with a fair amount of frustration on my part, a huge pile of shredded banana trees that under the mandate of M had been massacred by E. Greeyne.
"E kinda effed up these banana trees," I said.
"Yeah," Jacque said.
I was frustrated. I said, "F-ing college boy."
"Yeah," Jacque said.
"I shouldna sharpened that machete for him. Made it too easy for him."
"Yeah, he made 'em like confetti," Jacque said.
About fifteen minutes apart from each other a couple of bangers who I respect made fun of Jacque, behind my back, for helping me. I like the guys but I wanted to kill them at that moment. Figures of speech sometimes aren't. The one banger came by me later, after the truck was fully loaded and I shook his hand and insulted him under the radar and that ain't right if I did indeed mean it in the way it could be construed. But fuck you man, I've had this keyboard in front of me for many years and I haven't really disrespected you in any real proportion to the amount of material I have regarding you. I know that super ego of yours has helped you through some recent hard times but you need to keep it under reign regarding me and mine.
Another man, looking like the Bigtimer, came by later, blowing hot air to M about how she shouldn't cut down all her landscaping and whether inside or outside his earshot, I don't know or care but I told him to go fuck himself and mind his own business. A fucking idea man who don't lift a finger. Sack of excrement.
Well, I awoke out of a fevered sleep, took a shower, then realized it was only one in the morning. So I wrote this. Now I don't know what to do. I can read, I guess.
I think it’s a Panda you want, they are known for eating Bamboo shoots; Koalas are into Eucalyptus.
You probably know the joke: Panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meal, finishes quickly, heads to the door while pulling out a gun and spraying the place with bullets. Owner peeks out from behind the counter, says “what the hell was that about?” Panda growls over his shoulder while exiting, “I’m a Panda buddy, look it up!” Owner checks the encyclopedia under “Panda.” Sure enough, it says “eats shoots and leaves.”
ow! good one, alex.
jimlouis I hate those ideas people. they come out to bicycle advocacy meetings and instruct us on what we oughta be doing to save the planet for them. Yeah guy, we'll get right on that.
I love that Panda joke, so we'll get one. Pandas, Jacque, not Koala Bears.
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It did not make imperfect sense when Jacque said it, that I should get a Koala Bear to tend to the bamboo instead of engaging in all these labor-intensive efforts.
I had used a sawzall to cut down a couple hundred fifteen foot stalks the other day and yesterday he and I were slicing through the large piles with a circular saw. The more manageable six-foot lengths we were then grouping into not so heavy bundles, which we contained with twine.
Before loading these many bundles into the bed of my truck and securing them with criss-crossing tie-down straps, we had loaded up and hauled to the dump on Elysian Fields, with a fair amount of frustration on my part, a huge pile of shredded banana trees that under the mandate of M had been massacred by E. Greeyne.
"E kinda effed up these banana trees," I said.
"Yeah," Jacque said.
I was frustrated. I said, "F-ing college boy."
"Yeah," Jacque said.
"I shouldna sharpened that machete for him. Made it too easy for him."
"Yeah, he made 'em like confetti," Jacque said.
About fifteen minutes apart from each other a couple of bangers who I respect made fun of Jacque, behind my back, for helping me. I like the guys but I wanted to kill them at that moment. Figures of speech sometimes aren't. The one banger came by me later, after the truck was fully loaded and I shook his hand and insulted him under the radar and that ain't right if I did indeed mean it in the way it could be construed. But fuck you man, I've had this keyboard in front of me for many years and I haven't really disrespected you in any real proportion to the amount of material I have regarding you. I know that super ego of yours has helped you through some recent hard times but you need to keep it under reign regarding me and mine.
Another man, looking like the Bigtimer, came by later, blowing hot air to M about how she shouldn't cut down all her landscaping and whether inside or outside his earshot, I don't know or care but I told him to go fuck himself and mind his own business. A fucking idea man who don't lift a finger. Sack of excrement.
Well, I awoke out of a fevered sleep, took a shower, then realized it was only one in the morning. So I wrote this. Now I don't know what to do. I can read, I guess.
- jimlouis 1-22-2004 7:47 pm
I think it’s a Panda you want, they are known for eating Bamboo shoots; Koalas are into Eucalyptus.
You probably know the joke: Panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meal, finishes quickly, heads to the door while pulling out a gun and spraying the place with bullets. Owner peeks out from behind the counter, says “what the hell was that about?” Panda growls over his shoulder while exiting, “I’m a Panda buddy, look it up!” Owner checks the encyclopedia under “Panda.” Sure enough, it says “eats shoots and leaves.”
- alex 1-22-2004 8:13 pm [add a comment]
ow! good one, alex.
jimlouis I hate those ideas people. they come out to bicycle advocacy meetings and instruct us on what we oughta be doing to save the planet for them. Yeah guy, we'll get right on that.
- sally mckay 1-23-2004 5:44 am [add a comment]
I love that Panda joke, so we'll get one. Pandas, Jacque, not Koala Bears.
- jimlouis 1-24-2004 2:55 am [add a comment]