My Friend, Killer
I can hear the guy plopping down on my side steps and there is no real drama around here these days and there is no real harm in him plopping down out there but I'm so pissed at this new routine where him and his brother or friend bring their pit bulls for a walk in the Pentecostal lot, and make Killer next door go absolutely nuts for about thirty minutes every night that I rip open the door and glare even as he is jumping up and apologizing. I just tell him it's nothing personal but his presence makes that dog go nuts and the farther away from me he and his pit bulls are the better. Even the logic of it sounds screwy to me. Why shouldn't someone make use of that park next door? So what if a perpetually chained dog is screwy in the head and doesn't like the smell of free dogs in close proximity? My whole point starts from wanting to be an asshole, not wanting to offer any kindness to someone whose dogs contribute to a situation that makes me suffer from lack of peace. Why should he get to sit on my steps and I can't even fully appreciate the moderate buzz from my second Heineken? It's a weak beginning to a good point. I don't know how to best address such a situation. Um, I'm thsorry, could you pleaazze not promenade your canine creatures in my vahthintity. I jus wanna enjoy some peacthe and quiet. So.
I am approaching the construction of my budget porch railing very cautiously and while I am making headway I really got to say that having no experience at something you are trying to do pretty much sucks. That's where I'm at on that, the pretty much sucks stage. But I go at it a little everyday, lining up all the difficulties in neat little rows, waiting for the lightbulb to come on. The thing about construction, oh hell, life too I guess, is that all your previous careless mistakes visit you in subsequent and perpetual fashion until you correct and address them properly and even then you run the risk that when it's all said and done the code inspector (God?) might tell you the whole thing is wrong, wrong, wrong, tear it down and start over.
I've been spending a little quality time with Killer (whom I now call by his Christian name, Butch, during those periods of quality time.) An idea that has crossed my mind is that Killer may be racist. This is not a point I am going to belabor. Regarding racism I tend to remember the words of Shelton who as a teenager once said to me "I really don't care if they call me 'nigger,' Mr. Jim." At the time I had wished he did care and equally admired him for not caring. Anyway, I don't think Killer's main thing is a problem with my whiteness. Finally it came to me last night, he's just lonely, and unhappy with his chain. He wants to play.
I set up my table saw in my side yard right outside his fence partly because the bitch in me was rising and I was tired of avoiding that part of my property just to accommodate that mthrfking whoredog, Killer. In between ripping 45 degree angles off the three and a half inch top side of pressure treated two by fours I would flick pebbles at Killer, the first time out of meanness and all the other times because he thought it was a game and he would lurch for them and cease barking for up to a minute at a time. He would almost look happy, in that expectant "hey throw me the ball, throw me the ball" sort of way that dogs have. And as if I'm not happy unless I'm considering a scene in its melancholy aspect the thing about this time with Killer is--I think I may be the best friend he's got.
I heard about some paper or something about dogs being social parasites, and, in fact, the world's most successful social parasities. I'd be careful there, 'cause Killer/Butch might be leaching onto your anthropomorphizing psyche.
The truth about parasities is; animals are the least of our worries. People are,in fact, the worlds's most successful social parasities.
You gots a point there.
I'd say this might be the TSN Turning Point in the jimlouis & killer saga. Next thing we know, J will be sneaking him pig's ears and stealing him away for secret walks in the woods and bouts of frisbee toss. Just remember, if he goes for your throat, spread open his forelegs with your arms and kick him hard in the chest with your boot heel.
One, I don't want to have anything to do mult-syllabic words which describe my psyche. Two, I should be ok parasitically speaking because I don't associate with too many humans these days. Three, just spread his little forelegs and kick him hard with boot heel? I'm trying to picture if I'm limber enough to do that.
ru w/in telephone contact ?
"kick him hard in the chest with your boot heel"
hm. that does sound a bit harsh. There are pit bulls running loose all over my neighbourhood park, and one of them bit my friend in the stomach, so I mentally prepare myself for this strategy on a regular basis. But I have no idea if its really appropriate for you or not.
If pit bulls were running LOOSE in my neighborhood I would carry a gun. Although come to think of it, one from that recent wild pack does look a little bullish.
Yeah Bill, I'll give it to you over yonder.
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I can hear the guy plopping down on my side steps and there is no real drama around here these days and there is no real harm in him plopping down out there but I'm so pissed at this new routine where him and his brother or friend bring their pit bulls for a walk in the Pentecostal lot, and make Killer next door go absolutely nuts for about thirty minutes every night that I rip open the door and glare even as he is jumping up and apologizing. I just tell him it's nothing personal but his presence makes that dog go nuts and the farther away from me he and his pit bulls are the better. Even the logic of it sounds screwy to me. Why shouldn't someone make use of that park next door? So what if a perpetually chained dog is screwy in the head and doesn't like the smell of free dogs in close proximity? My whole point starts from wanting to be an asshole, not wanting to offer any kindness to someone whose dogs contribute to a situation that makes me suffer from lack of peace. Why should he get to sit on my steps and I can't even fully appreciate the moderate buzz from my second Heineken? It's a weak beginning to a good point. I don't know how to best address such a situation. Um, I'm thsorry, could you pleaazze not promenade your canine creatures in my vahthintity. I jus wanna enjoy some peacthe and quiet. So.
I am approaching the construction of my budget porch railing very cautiously and while I am making headway I really got to say that having no experience at something you are trying to do pretty much sucks. That's where I'm at on that, the pretty much sucks stage. But I go at it a little everyday, lining up all the difficulties in neat little rows, waiting for the lightbulb to come on. The thing about construction, oh hell, life too I guess, is that all your previous careless mistakes visit you in subsequent and perpetual fashion until you correct and address them properly and even then you run the risk that when it's all said and done the code inspector (God?) might tell you the whole thing is wrong, wrong, wrong, tear it down and start over.
I've been spending a little quality time with Killer (whom I now call by his Christian name, Butch, during those periods of quality time.) An idea that has crossed my mind is that Killer may be racist. This is not a point I am going to belabor. Regarding racism I tend to remember the words of Shelton who as a teenager once said to me "I really don't care if they call me 'nigger,' Mr. Jim." At the time I had wished he did care and equally admired him for not caring. Anyway, I don't think Killer's main thing is a problem with my whiteness. Finally it came to me last night, he's just lonely, and unhappy with his chain. He wants to play.
I set up my table saw in my side yard right outside his fence partly because the bitch in me was rising and I was tired of avoiding that part of my property just to accommodate that mthrfking whoredog, Killer. In between ripping 45 degree angles off the three and a half inch top side of pressure treated two by fours I would flick pebbles at Killer, the first time out of meanness and all the other times because he thought it was a game and he would lurch for them and cease barking for up to a minute at a time. He would almost look happy, in that expectant "hey throw me the ball, throw me the ball" sort of way that dogs have. And as if I'm not happy unless I'm considering a scene in its melancholy aspect the thing about this time with Killer is--I think I may be the best friend he's got.
- jimlouis 3-11-2004 7:53 pm
I heard about some paper or something about dogs being social parasites, and, in fact, the world's most successful social parasities. I'd be careful there, 'cause Killer/Butch might be leaching onto your anthropomorphizing psyche.
- mark 3-11-2004 8:52 pm [add a comment]
The truth about parasities is; animals are the least of our worries. People are,in fact, the worlds's most successful social parasities.
- sarah 3-14-2004 8:50 pm [9 comments]
You gots a point there.
- mark 3-15-2004 7:20 am [add a comment]
I'd say this might be the TSN Turning Point in the jimlouis & killer saga. Next thing we know, J will be sneaking him pig's ears and stealing him away for secret walks in the woods and bouts of frisbee toss. Just remember, if he goes for your throat, spread open his forelegs with your arms and kick him hard in the chest with your boot heel.
- sally mckay 3-15-2004 7:36 am [add a comment]
One, I don't want to have anything to do mult-syllabic words which describe my psyche. Two, I should be ok parasitically speaking because I don't associate with too many humans these days. Three, just spread his little forelegs and kick him hard with boot heel? I'm trying to picture if I'm limber enough to do that.
- jimlouis 3-15-2004 8:51 pm [add a comment]
ru w/in telephone contact ?
- bill 3-15-2004 9:38 pm [add a comment]
"kick him hard in the chest with your boot heel"
hm. that does sound a bit harsh. There are pit bulls running loose all over my neighbourhood park, and one of them bit my friend in the stomach, so I mentally prepare myself for this strategy on a regular basis. But I have no idea if its really appropriate for you or not.
- sally mckay 3-15-2004 9:52 pm [add a comment]
If pit bulls were running LOOSE in my neighborhood I would carry a gun. Although come to think of it, one from that recent wild pack does look a little bullish.
Yeah Bill, I'll give it to you over yonder.
- jimlouis 3-18-2004 9:35 pm [add a comment]