DONL 6
Its not like you have to love all black people because they are black. It's not like you have to extend special treatment to a black person who is behaving in a way that irks you. Irks you. In fact you may fantasize about an imminent demise of such a person, regardless of shade. I do.
The SuperBowl was a good one this year. McNair's final efforts were inspiration personified. That they were efforts which amounted to a loss matters little. That they occurred only minutes after I had in genuine anger called a man a punk ass bitch, and suggested he suck my dick matters maybe only to me.
Phillis invited me across the street to her SuperBowl Party. It would be the first gathering of certain family members since the death of Mama D, and Phillis's subseqent draconian methodology executing the lack of a will. Evelyn was there. And Nettie, and BaBa, and Yacqui showed up. Glynn and KaKa and Shelton were there. And others, but probably not enough were there to appreciate the spread that Phillis had layed out. There is never a shortage of food or drink at the gatherings of Phillis. Also at the gathering was Joe Nixon, oldest living son of Mama D. Cro-Magnum in both appearance and style, Joe and I have been at odds since the beginning, but after Mama D's death he upped the stakes by spreading rumors that there was something perverse about the relationship between Mandy and Shelton. The rumor was ignored by everyone, but the motive behind it was not ignored by me. He had officially waged war.
I had a couple of years before narrowly missed pulverizing the fingers on his left hand while he sat on the porch making what I deemed inappropriate comments. I had given a verbal warning followed almost immediately with an overhand hammer-in-hand direct miss-by-an-inch of his splayed fingers. He seemed to understand at that moment that I would play only so much.
But like I said, the SuperBowl party was a first reuniting of members of the D clan who perhaps had been on opposite sides of several issues. Basically it was Phillis and Joe on one side, everybody else on the other. So it could have been a good opportunity to resolve some bad feelings. But Joe, who is not liked by many people often finds antagonism his only mode of meaningful communication. Otherwise, given our druthers, most of us would just ignore him.
Evelyn would have liked to ignore him, sleeping off as she was, the contraindicated results of medications mixed with alcohol, but Joe felt a need to get under her skin, felt the need to see his sister explode. He had previously been trying to fuck with me but I was feeling pretty good, it was halftime, and there did not appear to be all that much on TV I was missing by the verbal sparring he was forcing on me. He was trying to make a point he has tried to make before--that Mandy and I aren't through with each other and therefore he is a direct challenge to me because it upsets me when he (crudely) hits on her. He was this time trying his case before Judge Yacqui, who at the time was only a few days out of jail. For my closing arguments I said,
"Joe, I've told you this before, if you weren't as ugly and stupid as you are, and Mandy had even a little bit of interest in you, and you acted with some class while hitting on her, even in front of me, it would be ok. But Mandy is a friend, and if I ever hear you come on to her again in that low class disrespectful way of yours, I will rip off your fuckin' head and shit down your neck." I knew I was being immature, but I could not help it.
Yacqui scored in favor of me.
Joe went off to fuck with the sleeping Eveyln, and eventually succeeded in pissing her off.
The third quarter began and I got a fresh budweiser and shot of whiskey.
At some point Joe came back, armed with the innuendo of fact--Mandy and Jim don't sleep together, what must that mean? That's when I stood up in front of Joe's seated self, worked my zipper up and down in front of his face, called him a punk ass bitch, and suggested he suck my dick. Phillis was standing right next to me when I did this. I had lost it. I knew it, she knew it, and the evening was ending as so many of these gatherings ended, with someone making a complete ass of themselves. I never dreamed I would get to be the one, but life is full of surprises, yeah?
Joe and I went outside shortly after my insult and acted like there was going to be a fight. No one else came outside though which is a fair reflection of the type of fight card Joe and I amount to. Phillis did eventually come out and "break us up," and I came back inside apologizing profusely to whoever would listen. Joe was sent away. I apologized some more and said I should go. Yacqui and Nettie said don't be silly, have another drink, finish watching the game. So I did. Great game.
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Its not like you have to love all black people because they are black. It's not like you have to extend special treatment to a black person who is behaving in a way that irks you. Irks you. In fact you may fantasize about an imminent demise of such a person, regardless of shade. I do. The SuperBowl was a good one this year. McNair's final efforts were inspiration personified. That they were efforts which amounted to a loss matters little. That they occurred only minutes after I had in genuine anger called a man a punk ass bitch, and suggested he suck my dick matters maybe only to me. Phillis invited me across the street to her SuperBowl Party. It would be the first gathering of certain family members since the death of Mama D, and Phillis's subseqent draconian methodology executing the lack of a will. Evelyn was there. And Nettie, and BaBa, and Yacqui showed up. Glynn and KaKa and Shelton were there. And others, but probably not enough were there to appreciate the spread that Phillis had layed out. There is never a shortage of food or drink at the gatherings of Phillis. Also at the gathering was Joe Nixon, oldest living son of Mama D. Cro-Magnum in both appearance and style, Joe and I have been at odds since the beginning, but after Mama D's death he upped the stakes by spreading rumors that there was something perverse about the relationship between Mandy and Shelton. The rumor was ignored by everyone, but the motive behind it was not ignored by me. He had officially waged war. I had a couple of years before narrowly missed pulverizing the fingers on his left hand while he sat on the porch making what I deemed inappropriate comments. I had given a verbal warning followed almost immediately with an overhand hammer-in-hand direct miss-by-an-inch of his splayed fingers. He seemed to understand at that moment that I would play only so much. But like I said, the SuperBowl party was a first reuniting of members of the D clan who perhaps had been on opposite sides of several issues. Basically it was Phillis and Joe on one side, everybody else on the other. So it could have been a good opportunity to resolve some bad feelings. But Joe, who is not liked by many people often finds antagonism his only mode of meaningful communication. Otherwise, given our druthers, most of us would just ignore him. Evelyn would have liked to ignore him, sleeping off as she was, the contraindicated results of medications mixed with alcohol, but Joe felt a need to get under her skin, felt the need to see his sister explode. He had previously been trying to fuck with me but I was feeling pretty good, it was halftime, and there did not appear to be all that much on TV I was missing by the verbal sparring he was forcing on me. He was trying to make a point he has tried to make before--that Mandy and I aren't through with each other and therefore he is a direct challenge to me because it upsets me when he (crudely) hits on her. He was this time trying his case before Judge Yacqui, who at the time was only a few days out of jail. For my closing arguments I said, "Joe, I've told you this before, if you weren't as ugly and stupid as you are, and Mandy had even a little bit of interest in you, and you acted with some class while hitting on her, even in front of me, it would be ok. But Mandy is a friend, and if I ever hear you come on to her again in that low class disrespectful way of yours, I will rip off your fuckin' head and shit down your neck." I knew I was being immature, but I could not help it. Yacqui scored in favor of me. Joe went off to fuck with the sleeping Eveyln, and eventually succeeded in pissing her off. The third quarter began and I got a fresh budweiser and shot of whiskey. At some point Joe came back, armed with the innuendo of fact--Mandy and Jim don't sleep together, what must that mean? That's when I stood up in front of Joe's seated self, worked my zipper up and down in front of his face, called him a punk ass bitch, and suggested he suck my dick. Phillis was standing right next to me when I did this. I had lost it. I knew it, she knew it, and the evening was ending as so many of these gatherings ended, with someone making a complete ass of themselves. I never dreamed I would get to be the one, but life is full of surprises, yeah? Joe and I went outside shortly after my insult and acted like there was going to be a fight. No one else came outside though which is a fair reflection of the type of fight card Joe and I amount to. Phillis did eventually come out and "break us up," and I came back inside apologizing profusely to whoever would listen. Joe was sent away. I apologized some more and said I should go. Yacqui and Nettie said don't be silly, have another drink, finish watching the game. So I did. Great game.
- jimlouis 4-08-2000 11:06 am