List Of Lists
An advertising man and a real estate man came to the farm over the labor day weekend and I'm not saying which one and I'm certainly not saying it was the one that owns the farm, but one of them set off a package of firecrackers in the house, right under the bedroom I have been sleeping in. And in which I was sleeping at the time, so that the first two blasts echoing well beyond their intended outdoor potential because they weren't set off outdoors but instead as I keep mentioning, indoors, in the acoustically triumphant foyer of a 150 year old house, well, they, those first two blasts made me wake up in New Orleans, which is quite a bit of instantaneous transporting, but then I was awake and realized it was just firecrackers as the final 18 blasts did that audible dance very unlike gunfire. I did not at first know they had set them off indoors, right below my room, until a minute or two later and all that noxious firecracker smoke started seeping into the quarters where I had been perchancing to dream. I do not know how giants of business behave in your part of the world but out here it is becoming increasingly obvious that you can't really know a thing about human potential until after the last act is written. Until each and every individual giant of business has explored their inner insanity.
It has been suggested by more than a few that as a way to address the unique lack of structure to my life out here that I keep lists. Lists of accomplished tasks and lists of tasks to be done and lists of materials to acquire. I could also make a list of lists.
Yesterday, a day I don't feel I was overly ambitious, I got up and unloaded the dishwasher and loaded the dishwasher. I went out and clipped the dead hydrangea blossoms. Clipped or dead-headed the daisies. Turned off the new sprinkler system which did not seem to be accessing its computerized potential of knowing that it was raining, and has been raining off and on for several days. I checked the pool skimmer and found no baby marmots floating. Added some chemicals, skimmed off a few floating leaves. Trimmed off the tops of the seven foot tall round bushes in the center island out front and raked into piles those trimmings. I had a mid-morning business meeting with the guy who mows the 5 acres of lawn and sent him off with promises of future lawn cutting profit. I tested Mr. BC's new fly rod for a few minutes on the pond. Had late breakfast of hanger steak, lentils, and swiss chard. After breakfast had a brief business meeting with the advertising man's wife about local real estate potential. Then I went out and removed the 12 purple martin apartments from their pole and loaded them into jeep for storage in the barn because there are no resident martins yet and the pole will have to be moved elsewhere, away from the soon to be constructed outdoor fireplace and bocce court. I think the pole took a little knock from the backhoe and is bent so I'll let those worker guys extract it. I trimmed back the bushes from the side of the house by the pecan and walnut trees and set up the ladder and ran the extension cord and put on my dust mask and set to ready my Makita disc sander and then it started raining. I went inside and installed the new toilet paper holder and toilet handle in one of the bathrooms.
My lovely guests left--and I peripherally count as my accomplishment--without blowing off their fingers or sinking a barbless fly hook into their lips or initiating a lawsuit for slipping on the bath mat. I located and removed from premises some mouse doo-doo.
As it has been a guest-laden couple of weeks I paused and luxuriated in the solitude while gazing at wispy white clouds moving across the green mountains surrounding me 360.
A car comes up the drive and it is my tennis pro friend just stopping by to chat. Who gives a damn if I'm all chatted out? Followed shortly thereafter by my hay-cutting friend who needs a new kidney, and in his own right is quite the chatterer. They left and I watched some tennis for awhile until Mr. BC's brother shows up with his French girlfriend. He brought me a 300gb hard drive just because they were on sale and he is wonderful and thoughtful human being. He did not set off fireworks in the house but he did bite the tip off what could have been but wasn't a deadly hot pepper. At least he didn't intentionally step in a pit of fire and then accidently fall in nearly frozen pool water, which I'm not saying he ever did anymore than I'm saying his brother set off fireworks in the house. I shared a couple of roma tomatoes dipped in sea salt with the French girlfriend, then said, ok, its time for yall to get the hell out of here, and forced on them a bottle of champagne and some pistachios, for the road.
"He did not set off fireworks in the house but he did bite the tip off what could have been but wasn't a deadly hot pepper."
Hilarious!
I sure miss that brotherly fun.
i think bc was just trying to blow up that medieval style couch.
(if i were trying to be funny id have said "back to the stone ages" but that would be beneath me, not to mention temporally askew. hmm, im not sure you can get any lower than wizard of id allusions though.)
every one keeping up with dave here? BC, wizard of id, johnny hart, whew...
I'm following him well enough to agree with his stance on Wizard of Id allusions.
Connecting dave's puns to the funny pages... What a crock.
Hmm, no mention of how proximate the blast was to the box full of fireworks
unfair Id bashing! "sire, the peasants are revolting!"
Well, actually, adman, it does not appear there is mention of that. Are you sure that's the way it happened? I mean, there's no photo-documentation or anything, I mean, as far as I know there is not photo-ducumentation of any untoward behaviour anywhere on the property. Not even down by the pond as far as I know.
was it the "peasants revolting" comment or the stateliness of your manner which impressed the "u" into your behavior? or perhaps t'were the untowardidness.
This is going downhill fast. Let me help.
jane, stop this crazy thing! i feel pretty...
No really, the hemostats are for removing fish hooks officer.
who knew? "the king is a fink!"
The u in behavior is an outright bald faced affect, and one I can't seem to kick anymore than I can going to the theatre. You don't see any of the Canadian's saying I can't use their u. And BC and Wizard of Id are two different creatures. I was more a BC fan.
You may have our u.
ahh. thats funny. both hart creations, bc and id that is. i think i had conflated them into one comic in my half-blind minds eye.
ill occasionally indulge in a theatre but i stand firm at the u which is not to say im not fond of them.
I used to really like BC and Id as a kid, and even taught myself to draw convincing facsimiles (quell'artista!). Then, especially in BC, I noticed the Christian evangelizing. Big turn off.
joester also must dislike u's, hence "pewney"--the greatest misspelling of a word I have pursonally ever seen.
crock?
|
An advertising man and a real estate man came to the farm over the labor day weekend and I'm not saying which one and I'm certainly not saying it was the one that owns the farm, but one of them set off a package of firecrackers in the house, right under the bedroom I have been sleeping in. And in which I was sleeping at the time, so that the first two blasts echoing well beyond their intended outdoor potential because they weren't set off outdoors but instead as I keep mentioning, indoors, in the acoustically triumphant foyer of a 150 year old house, well, they, those first two blasts made me wake up in New Orleans, which is quite a bit of instantaneous transporting, but then I was awake and realized it was just firecrackers as the final 18 blasts did that audible dance very unlike gunfire. I did not at first know they had set them off indoors, right below my room, until a minute or two later and all that noxious firecracker smoke started seeping into the quarters where I had been perchancing to dream. I do not know how giants of business behave in your part of the world but out here it is becoming increasingly obvious that you can't really know a thing about human potential until after the last act is written. Until each and every individual giant of business has explored their inner insanity.
It has been suggested by more than a few that as a way to address the unique lack of structure to my life out here that I keep lists. Lists of accomplished tasks and lists of tasks to be done and lists of materials to acquire. I could also make a list of lists.
Yesterday, a day I don't feel I was overly ambitious, I got up and unloaded the dishwasher and loaded the dishwasher. I went out and clipped the dead hydrangea blossoms. Clipped or dead-headed the daisies. Turned off the new sprinkler system which did not seem to be accessing its computerized potential of knowing that it was raining, and has been raining off and on for several days. I checked the pool skimmer and found no baby marmots floating. Added some chemicals, skimmed off a few floating leaves. Trimmed off the tops of the seven foot tall round bushes in the center island out front and raked into piles those trimmings. I had a mid-morning business meeting with the guy who mows the 5 acres of lawn and sent him off with promises of future lawn cutting profit. I tested Mr. BC's new fly rod for a few minutes on the pond. Had late breakfast of hanger steak, lentils, and swiss chard. After breakfast had a brief business meeting with the advertising man's wife about local real estate potential. Then I went out and removed the 12 purple martin apartments from their pole and loaded them into jeep for storage in the barn because there are no resident martins yet and the pole will have to be moved elsewhere, away from the soon to be constructed outdoor fireplace and bocce court. I think the pole took a little knock from the backhoe and is bent so I'll let those worker guys extract it. I trimmed back the bushes from the side of the house by the pecan and walnut trees and set up the ladder and ran the extension cord and put on my dust mask and set to ready my Makita disc sander and then it started raining. I went inside and installed the new toilet paper holder and toilet handle in one of the bathrooms.
My lovely guests left--and I peripherally count as my accomplishment--without blowing off their fingers or sinking a barbless fly hook into their lips or initiating a lawsuit for slipping on the bath mat. I located and removed from premises some mouse doo-doo.
As it has been a guest-laden couple of weeks I paused and luxuriated in the solitude while gazing at wispy white clouds moving across the green mountains surrounding me 360.
A car comes up the drive and it is my tennis pro friend just stopping by to chat. Who gives a damn if I'm all chatted out? Followed shortly thereafter by my hay-cutting friend who needs a new kidney, and in his own right is quite the chatterer. They left and I watched some tennis for awhile until Mr. BC's brother shows up with his French girlfriend. He brought me a 300gb hard drive just because they were on sale and he is wonderful and thoughtful human being. He did not set off fireworks in the house but he did bite the tip off what could have been but wasn't a deadly hot pepper. At least he didn't intentionally step in a pit of fire and then accidently fall in nearly frozen pool water, which I'm not saying he ever did anymore than I'm saying his brother set off fireworks in the house. I shared a couple of roma tomatoes dipped in sea salt with the French girlfriend, then said, ok, its time for yall to get the hell out of here, and forced on them a bottle of champagne and some pistachios, for the road.
- jimlouis 9-05-2006 7:18 pm
"He did not set off fireworks in the house but he did bite the tip off what could have been but wasn't a deadly hot pepper."
Hilarious!
- steve 9-05-2006 7:42 pm [1 comment]
I sure miss that brotherly fun.
- juliejackson (guest) 9-05-2006 8:35 pm [add a comment]
i think bc was just trying to blow up that medieval style couch.
(if i were trying to be funny id have said "back to the stone ages" but that would be beneath me, not to mention temporally askew. hmm, im not sure you can get any lower than wizard of id allusions though.)
- dave 9-05-2006 9:52 pm [add a comment]
every one keeping up with dave here? BC, wizard of id, johnny hart, whew...
- bill 9-05-2006 9:59 pm [add a comment]
I'm following him well enough to agree with his stance on Wizard of Id allusions.
- jimlouis 9-05-2006 10:16 pm [add a comment]
Connecting dave's puns to the funny pages... What a crock.
- steve 9-05-2006 10:25 pm [add a comment]
Hmm, no mention of how proximate the blast was to the box full of fireworks
- adman (guest) 9-05-2006 10:56 pm [add a comment]
unfair Id bashing!
- bill 9-05-2006 11:12 pm [add a comment]
Well, actually, adman, it does not appear there is mention of that. Are you sure that's the way it happened? I mean, there's no photo-documentation or anything, I mean, as far as I know there is not photo-ducumentation of any untoward behaviour anywhere on the property. Not even down by the pond as far as I know.
- jimlouis 9-05-2006 11:28 pm [add a comment]
was it the "peasants revolting" comment or the stateliness of your manner which impressed the "u" into your behavior? or perhaps t'were the untowardidness.
- dave 9-05-2006 11:51 pm [add a comment]
This is going downhill fast. Let me help.
- L.M. 9-06-2006 12:12 am [add a comment]
jane, stop this crazy thing!
- dave 9-06-2006 12:27 am [add a comment]
No really, the hemostats are for removing fish hooks officer.
- adman (guest) 9-06-2006 12:32 am [add a comment]
who knew?
- dave 9-06-2006 12:49 am [1 comment]
The u in behavior is an outright bald faced affect, and one I can't seem to kick anymore than I can going to the theatre. You don't see any of the Canadian's saying I can't use their u. And BC and Wizard of Id are two different creatures. I was more a BC fan.
- jimlouis 9-06-2006 1:28 am [add a comment]
You may have our u.
- L.M. 9-06-2006 1:53 am [add a comment]
ahh. thats funny. both hart creations, bc and id that is. i think i had conflated them into one comic in my half-blind minds eye.
ill occasionally indulge in a theatre but i stand firm at the u which is not to say im not fond of them.
- dave 9-06-2006 2:40 am [add a comment]
I used to really like BC and Id as a kid, and even taught myself to draw convincing facsimiles (quell'artista!). Then, especially in BC, I noticed the Christian evangelizing. Big turn off.
- mark 9-06-2006 3:33 am [add a comment]
joester also must dislike u's, hence "pewney"--the greatest misspelling of a word I have pursonally ever seen.
- tom moody 9-06-2006 3:44 am [add a comment]
crock?
- steve 9-07-2006 5:15 am [add a comment]