View current page
...more recent posts
The Big C7.19.97
I wonder what C is thinking out there standing hunkered over my
little car parked in front the house? He is postured in such a way--with
his elephant sized forearms resting on the roof, his head tilted and
drooping like a buddah on the nod--that I find myself imagining him to be
knocking at epiphany's window. Of course, he could also be urinating in
my gas tank.
To that extent you resist the local way, you give up a good bit of what
is in the offering.
At 370 pounds of raw black fat, a nose wider than it is long, and 26-year-
old eyes wanting to pop out his skull, C does not at first glance
inspire the nurturing instinct. Nonetheless, I have resisted efforts
(mostly P and M 's) to have his presence on this block banned.
Good Lord, can you really do that? Ban someone or something because they
are displeasing to you? I guess the answer is yes because they a lot of
punk ass motherfuckers don't hang here no more. C pushes crack on
the street and no question that is a bad thing, but he does what he does
well and I have to respect that in place with so many shiftless
pretenders roaming 'round. I believe the real reason C stays around
here is the same reason there are so many children around here: because
Mama D ain't dead or in jail. A person has to belong somewhere and this
as close as C gonna get. He pays his dues with respect and a few
dollars to Mama D's pocket. And that buys him a few hours inside Mama
D's during the heat of the day and the cold of the night. Aside from the
manner in which he makes his living, Corey behaves better than most
people on this street.
One night there was a knock at the door and when I went to see who it
was, nobody was there. And then I saw movement down below and to my right.
"Hey C ," I said, and he answered, "Sign fell down," and handed up to me the big metal Neighborhood Watch sign that was poorly nailed to the telephone pole in front of our house.
"Thank you C."
"All right Mr. Jim," he nods, bashful as a little boy.
When Phillis says she finds C "disgusting," she is implying that to
refer to his lifestyle but I suspect it is his physical appearance that
most bothers her because she seems none too disgusted by any of the good
looking dealers I have seen her flirting with.
And one night on the front porch, Shelton, in the midst of an anxiety
attack, confided to M that he had not the highest hopes for his
future. He said--"I'll probably end up just like C." And whereas
M thinks that is a bad thing, I do not.
Clifford Lewis5.18.97
This is the first one, second one actually, but due to various catastrophic crashes no one seems to have the first one, except me, as hard copy, and anyway its full of small errors, but for me does have one crucial line which I would appreciate being taken somewhat seriously---"As it would be far too tedious to change all the names of people I will be mentioning I must insist that you read all further missives as fiction. None of these people exist and none of this is happening." ) Clifford Lewis, a twenty-year-old young man raised by Mama D goes by the name Kojak and while shirtless sports the pucker
of bullet wounds across his stomach and back, wounds inflicted during his fifteenth year. More of a ladies man than a street hustling drug dealer, Kojak follows the flow of current events and avoids conflict to the best of his ability. Sometimes seen on the block holding his newborn son, Kojak will smoke that blunt, and rap a few modern lyrics, but mostly stays on the border of any serious business dealings in the area. The mother of the baby boy Clifford, aka., Peanut, is in jail on a charge unrelated to shooting through the front door of Kojak's ex-girlfriend across the street here about six months ago. For a man of his age in this environment, Kojak has been plenty respectful of the two white people at 2646. On one occasion at the Magnolia convenience store across the street Mandy found herself laughing at the sexual advances one young gangster was making towards a young girl, and while the young man was inclined towards getting in Mandy's face over this small humiliation, Kojak, with some theatrics, dissuaded the other young man from pursuing his actions. So Mandy likes him and perhaps Kojak appreciates (and is yearnful of, himself) the time Mandy spends with his younger blood relations on the street. Just a week ago Mandy had put out on the front porch some coloring books and crayons for the younger children to play with and when she came out a bit later she found Kojak proudly displaying his colored picture and asking Mandy her opinion of its worth compared to his sister, LuLu's. LuLu is a fourteen-year-old honor student.