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Vote Bully
No really, I can't go on and on, I have to get ready for the presidential debates, which I hope to listen to on the radio, maybe get some visuals from the internet but probably not, unless I start to think I'm missing something like a sick Nixon, or an impatient Bush Sr., then I could log on, might be worth it if I could catch Dubayou snorting up the back drain from the blow he inhaled before the debate. Or Al blowing kisses to his wife, whatshername, while George explains why he's against aid to the Bosnian rebels in the Middle East. One things for sure, I can't dillydaddle around, got to hose down, and chow down, and at least read the comics before the debate starts.
I have time to say this one thing though, to my brother Paul, the criminology professor at that small private Catholic University in Austin, TX, congratulations on the birth of your new son, Sam Clifford, and to his wife Judy, good job, you're the greatest, but next time he aims that thing at you, call a cop. Also, I'm outing my brother as a radical, because I know he intends to vote for a minor candidate in the presidential election and that's fine and good because this is America, Land of the Free, but let me say this about that, and "that" is a vote for Nader, or anybody else who isn't Gore or Bush. A vote for a minor candidate is a vote for the fratboy. Which one you might ask?, and that's fair enough, so let me break it down for you: Bush is a fucking idiot from the aristocracy, Gore is a fairly well educated dweeb. The election process will always be a choice between lesser evils, let's not hope for or pretend otherwise. Its a tough decision really because I can imagine a scenario of the candidate I like least actually having better access to the "oil" which will make this country run most smoothly, and the one I'm going to vote for, if I get out that day, doesn't inspire me in the least. So why do I care, and what does it matter? Some would say--"do what thou will, that is the whole of the law," I'm saying always vote for yourself, and to this audience that I know and love in varying degrees, I say, Vote for the Dweeb.