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The Sheriff And Gay Elvis
I parked on St. Philip by the park. Getting out of the car I shook the hand of a stranger with paper money pinned to his shirt and wished him happy birthday. In Congo Square I immediately bought ten dollars worth of the blue tickets and reversed myself to the beer tent. The beers looked really small for some reason so I bought two and quickly drained one. I carried my sipping beer back to a perimeter bench and began gazing at the crowd. Sitting on the bench next to me were two pug dogs in prison outfits and a Chihuahua with the perfectly proportioned accessories of a little gun in a shoulder holster and a miniature sheriffs badge and handcuffs. I began smiling of and on until I settled on a bemused grin with ocassional toothy puncuations. The latter were usually inspired whenever I glanced over at the Chihuahua. It was the annual Barkus pre-parade gala in Armstrong Park on a perfect clear warm sunny day in February. There was a campy gay Elvis MC for the doggy fashion show and he provided some decent laughs but I didn't wanna press my luck with too much fun so I only hung long enough to drink another beer and eat a quarter muffaletta and then I zigg-zagged out to St. Philip. I politely told the guy on my shoulder who was now my best chum that I was in a bit of a hurry, although I wasn't, and that I really appreciated him checking on my needs but there was nothing he had that I wanted. And this despite or because of the fact that I really did not understand one word of his jargon, although I got the gist of it. I had something inside my jacket pocket that wasn't lint and I just gave it to the guy quickly, smiling. He was beside himself with gratitude and wished God's blessing on me and with no irony I did the same for him and then as I was opening my car door and he was half way back to his buddies he yelled out I love you man, and I just had to pause and think before responding to that. In the end I said nothing, giving the guy an anemic Toyota beep from my thousand dollar car as I drove up St. Philip towards Rampart