Last weekend I posed the question, "What do you like better...screws or balloons?" Unlike most of my friends, who roll their eyes and ignore me when I pose an either/or, 2-year-old H. gives the question genuine consideration and responds with direct honesty, "Screws." I think its a good answer. Balloons are dumb. I feel incommensurate satisfaction at having recieved any answer at all.
The whole thing started about 20 years ago. Sophie's Choice had posited the cruel impossibility of binary options. My parents were separating. I had to decide whether to finish high school or flee the province. I chose flight which was easier than my brother's choice of which parent to live with. I pestered my poor brother relentlessly, "Who do you like better, Kate or Allie?" He never did answer me. To this day, when I slide the question into an otherwise convivial conversation, he responds with exasperated sighs and the occasional administration of physical pain (all people with brothers will know what I mean). But in that perverse opposite land that is sibling communication, this lopsided torture was, and is, an acknowledgement of respect for the horrid decision that he eventually faced, while I ducked out and never declared myself.
Binary choices are not in vogue, pre-rhizomatic dinosaurs from the old days before our eyes were opened to the falsity of polarity, the uncertainty principle, the tyrranical reign of cultural context over meaning of any kind. But we, of course, make them all the time regardless. There is content in choosing one thing over another, and there may even be consequences. Choice is risk, action, carpe diem!
I have a really hard time choosing between Kate and Allie. Kate was more fun, Allie was a wet blanket. Kate was cuter, but Allie was more entertaining. Also, Allie was Chip's mom, so there's a good chance you'd get him in the bargain and he was a creepy but fascinatingly weird little dude. If H. can choose screws, I can choose Allie. She makes me laugh.
Allie. No question.
But back in the day I had a MILF crush on Sally McMillan.
Funny, I had forgotten altogether about Kate and Allie.
A few months ago on a car trip, having been watching birds out the window and sitting with my feet perched on the dashboard (I wasn't the one driving), I asked Michael whether he'd rather have wings (like birds) or foot thumbs (like monkeys). Not being my brother there was no physical pain inflicted, but he was befuddled by my question, and I think suspicious of what my motives were in asking it, as if it were something other than a purely hypothetical way to pass time in the car and to talk about the cool things that animals can do that people can't. I don't remember that he really gave me an answer, even after much pressing. (For the record, if I couldn't have both, I think I might want foot-thumbs. Flying would be great, but so would being able to use my feet and hands equally to eat, scratch, climb things ... type.)
well, like said Mark, Kate was defiinitely cuter. Maybe she had to break up with this McMillan dude before she could move in with Allie?
Jessica, my friend who remembers Paul Auster's Moon Palace better than I do says that there is a scene very similar to what you describe towars the end of the book. Two dudes on a long trip sharing "what /who do you like better?" queries. In my experience, people are about as receptive to the question as they are to knock knock jokes. I'm game, however, and I like wings better than opposable toes. I think flying might get boring fast, but it would be so very fun to do it in front of the cool youth dudes on their small, chromified bicycles.
Screws.
Neither Kate nor Allie.
Wings, otherwise the opposable toes would lead to all sorts of shoe issues.
My experience with screws and balloons is that they both break and then you cry.
I've never watched kate and ally. I wouldn't even know which is which.
But wings. Definitely wings. Being able to fly vs. allowing people to watch me open a jar of peanuts with my smelly feet? No contest.
oh, and kitten war.
http://kittenwar.com/
What do you like better: Kitten War or Cats in Sinks?
Gosh, there's a lot of terrible picturetaking on Kitten War. It's supposed to be about cute kittens, not every lame snap of people's cats!!!
that's where the war part comes in.
As for the sinks, are people posing them there or is it something cats supposedly do? None of the ones I'm familiar with would go within a mile of a sink.
Someone should submit that picture Bill found of the owl drinking out of the sink tap--just to see what happens. Oh, I forgot, the owl looked headless.
One of my cats would drink from a sink faucet. Much cleaner habit than dogs drinking from a different plumbing fixture.
I've known cats who were sink freaks. also cats who liked the "different" fixture.
My lately departed miserable cat never went near a sink, so I loved cats in sinks.
But what I'd love more is a site for birds under tea cosies. It was one of my favourite sports when I owned a cockatiel.
What do you like better: the CCCA or the CCA?
Well, the cca has pictures of the sun (and perhaps the Son) with sunglasses:
http://www.biblepicturegallery.com/Pictures/Environment/Sun%20with%20sunglasses%202%20ca.htm
oooooh. It's a nice one too.
balloons. you have a screw in one hand and a (helium filled) balloon in the other. you drop both. the screw falls to earth like any other object but the balloon goes up. i rest my case.
Balloons AND screws. Poke one with the other. K-blam.
yeah but if you want to attach two pieces of wood together a balloon is freakin useless. And if you use a screw it has that cool backwards force thingy going on where it almost magically starts pulling the pieces toward each other. Now if we comparing nails and balloons it would be a different matter. nails are kind of dumb too - the heads can break off and fly into your eye, they can be very difficult to remove and they don't really hold things together that well unless you also use glue. I might choose balloons over nails. But nails are as good as screws for the K-blam.
When i was in clown school we had to learn how to make animal balloons. I hate those little long thin balloons, you need the lung power of Dizzy Gallespie to inflate them. ...uh ya i really did go to clown school. Well more like a clown workshop actually.
One of the best (worst) pranks ever pulled on me was by J. and J. when they pre-inflated one of those long skinny balloons with a bicycle pump before I showed up. then one of them off-handedly blew it up by mouth, saying, "these aren't so hard to inflate as people say." and tossed me a fresh one. Then they sat back and watched while I huffed and puffed in a mounting rage, furious thinking that they had better lung power than me. grrrrrr.
my cat liked tubs too. for a similar reason. it would go in and lick up the residual water.
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Last weekend I posed the question, "What do you like better...screws or balloons?" Unlike most of my friends, who roll their eyes and ignore me when I pose an either/or, 2-year-old H. gives the question genuine consideration and responds with direct honesty, "Screws." I think its a good answer. Balloons are dumb. I feel incommensurate satisfaction at having recieved any answer at all.
The whole thing started about 20 years ago. Sophie's Choice had posited the cruel impossibility of binary options. My parents were separating. I had to decide whether to finish high school or flee the province. I chose flight which was easier than my brother's choice of which parent to live with. I pestered my poor brother relentlessly, "Who do you like better, Kate or Allie?" He never did answer me. To this day, when I slide the question into an otherwise convivial conversation, he responds with exasperated sighs and the occasional administration of physical pain (all people with brothers will know what I mean). But in that perverse opposite land that is sibling communication, this lopsided torture was, and is, an acknowledgement of respect for the horrid decision that he eventually faced, while I ducked out and never declared myself.
Binary choices are not in vogue, pre-rhizomatic dinosaurs from the old days before our eyes were opened to the falsity of polarity, the uncertainty principle, the tyrranical reign of cultural context over meaning of any kind. But we, of course, make them all the time regardless. There is content in choosing one thing over another, and there may even be consequences. Choice is risk, action, carpe diem!
I have a really hard time choosing between Kate and Allie. Kate was more fun, Allie was a wet blanket. Kate was cuter, but Allie was more entertaining. Also, Allie was Chip's mom, so there's a good chance you'd get him in the bargain and he was a creepy but fascinatingly weird little dude. If H. can choose screws, I can choose Allie. She makes me laugh.
- sally mckay 10-21-2005 3:29 am
Allie. No question.
But back in the day I had a MILF crush on Sally McMillan.
- mark 10-21-2005 6:48 am
Funny, I had forgotten altogether about Kate and Allie.
A few months ago on a car trip, having been watching birds out the window and sitting with my feet perched on the dashboard (I wasn't the one driving), I asked Michael whether he'd rather have wings (like birds) or foot thumbs (like monkeys). Not being my brother there was no physical pain inflicted, but he was befuddled by my question, and I think suspicious of what my motives were in asking it, as if it were something other than a purely hypothetical way to pass time in the car and to talk about the cool things that animals can do that people can't. I don't remember that he really gave me an answer, even after much pressing. (For the record, if I couldn't have both, I think I might want foot-thumbs. Flying would be great, but so would being able to use my feet and hands equally to eat, scratch, climb things ... type.)
- Jessica (guest) 10-21-2005 6:54 am
well, like said Mark, Kate was defiinitely cuter. Maybe she had to break up with this McMillan dude before she could move in with Allie?
Jessica, my friend who remembers Paul Auster's Moon Palace better than I do says that there is a scene very similar to what you describe towars the end of the book. Two dudes on a long trip sharing "what /who do you like better?" queries. In my experience, people are about as receptive to the question as they are to knock knock jokes. I'm game, however, and I like wings better than opposable toes. I think flying might get boring fast, but it would be so very fun to do it in front of the cool youth dudes on their small, chromified bicycles.
- sally mckay 10-21-2005 8:03 am
Screws.
Neither Kate nor Allie.
Wings, otherwise the opposable toes would lead to all sorts of shoe issues.
- L.M. 10-21-2005 9:51 am
My experience with screws and balloons is that they both break and then you cry.
I've never watched kate and ally. I wouldn't even know which is which.
But wings. Definitely wings. Being able to fly vs. allowing people to watch me open a jar of peanuts with my smelly feet? No contest.
oh, and kitten war.
http://kittenwar.com/
- rob (guest) 10-21-2005 7:35 pm
What do you like better: Kitten War or Cats in Sinks?
- sally mckay 10-21-2005 8:31 pm
Gosh, there's a lot of terrible picturetaking on Kitten War. It's supposed to be about cute kittens, not every lame snap of people's cats!!!
- tom moody 10-21-2005 8:38 pm
that's where the war part comes in.
- sally mckay 10-21-2005 8:40 pm
As for the sinks, are people posing them there or is it something cats supposedly do? None of the ones I'm familiar with would go within a mile of a sink.
- tom moody 10-21-2005 8:40 pm
Someone should submit that picture Bill found of the owl drinking out of the sink tap--just to see what happens. Oh, I forgot, the owl looked headless.
- tom moody 10-21-2005 8:49 pm
One of my cats would drink from a sink faucet. Much cleaner habit than dogs drinking from a different plumbing fixture.
- mark 10-21-2005 9:05 pm
I've known cats who were sink freaks. also cats who liked the "different" fixture.
- sally mckay 10-21-2005 9:31 pm
My lately departed miserable cat never went near a sink, so I loved cats in sinks.
But what I'd love more is a site for birds under tea cosies. It was one of my favourite sports when I owned a cockatiel.
- L.M. 10-21-2005 9:31 pm
What do you like better: the CCCA or the CCA?
- sally mckay 10-22-2005 6:01 am
Well, the cca has pictures of the sun (and perhaps the Son) with sunglasses:
http://www.biblepicturegallery.com/Pictures/Environment/Sun%20with%20sunglasses%202%20ca.htm
- rob (guest) 10-22-2005 6:42 am
oooooh. It's a nice one too.
- sally mckay 10-22-2005 5:32 pm
balloons. you have a screw in one hand and a (helium filled) balloon in the other. you drop both. the screw falls to earth like any other object but the balloon goes up. i rest my case.
- rusty_k 10-22-2005 8:00 pm
Balloons AND screws. Poke one with the other. K-blam.
- M.Jean 10-22-2005 8:21 pm
yeah but if you want to attach two pieces of wood together a balloon is freakin useless. And if you use a screw it has that cool backwards force thingy going on where it almost magically starts pulling the pieces toward each other. Now if we comparing nails and balloons it would be a different matter. nails are kind of dumb too - the heads can break off and fly into your eye, they can be very difficult to remove and they don't really hold things together that well unless you also use glue. I might choose balloons over nails. But nails are as good as screws for the K-blam.
- sally mckay 10-22-2005 9:43 pm
When i was in clown school we had to learn how to make animal balloons. I hate those little long thin balloons, you need the lung power of Dizzy Gallespie to inflate them. ...uh ya i really did go to clown school. Well more like a clown workshop actually.
- mnobody (guest) 10-22-2005 10:07 pm
One of the best (worst) pranks ever pulled on me was by J. and J. when they pre-inflated one of those long skinny balloons with a bicycle pump before I showed up. then one of them off-handedly blew it up by mouth, saying, "these aren't so hard to inflate as people say." and tossed me a fresh one. Then they sat back and watched while I huffed and puffed in a mounting rage, furious thinking that they had better lung power than me. grrrrrr.
- sally mckay 10-22-2005 10:41 pm
my cat liked tubs too. for a similar reason. it would go in and lick up the residual water.
- bill 10-24-2005 1:42 am