The Royal Winter Fair is the BEST PLACE ON EARTH.
NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE CANADIAN FINALS RODEO
pix on the blog
that was me, and flickr not blog
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879914284/
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879907902/
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879084127/
So did you? Braid his tail?
What are the little buckets for? dread wax? hand sanitizer? simulated horse doo-doo?
We were too prudish to braid the tail. No idea what those buckets are for! I didn't even see them! (ah the power of the camera). We also saw this...
and this...
and this...
and also this...
Hey Sally, is that last one porcelain, butter or sugar?
fairy dust
That does it! I am loading my Rolleiflex.
Gotta go and visit the fair.
We wanted to get there before the weekend because so many of the exhibitors are packing up their livestock by Sunday. (Don't forget to look for the exotic animal education booth with the masturbating monkey, he's in the sheep barn and he can't keep his hands off his manly monkey bits)
I went last sat. with my family and saw the show jumping finals. Part of an entire afternoon of entertainment featuring clysdale horses and the superdogs! But the highlight was a two song performance by Canada's own Alanah Myles! They introduced her as returning from an eight year hiatus to perform her hit song 'Black Velvet' as accompaniment to a dressage demonstration. I could only imagine what she was thinking as the horses walked to the stage, turned around, and she was left belting out the chorus to a pair of horse asses.
She's made a bag of money of that song. It's peformed every season on American Idol. (I know someone who bought a house with the royalties on just the bass line) And imagine how many Shetland ponies have been named Black Velvet, she should demand a royalty for that too.
I decided my dream farm would have Alpacas. (and me & my unicorn would herd them through fields of sunflowers.)
I took about six minutes of useless footage of this creature who looked too sensitive and ethereal to accept food pellets at the petting zoo. (he had probably pigged out earlier) He had big sweet vacant eyes just like the boys I used to have crushes on when I was 10 years old. (But I usually said something dreadful causing them to back away slowly with a confused look on their Alpaca-like faces.) I am just so glad that I don't do that anymore.
when you said those dreadful things to them, did they get this look on their faces?
Exactly that look, indeed, it was.
for the record, the guys I got crushes on when I was 10 yrs old looked like this...
Other highlights of the Royal Winter Fair included a secret funeral for a Victorian child that was trampled by horses earlier that afternoon.
...and then he sneeers in a Brooklyn accent: "Wee're gonna be really goood friends, ain't we?...", and then he pushes an old lady in a wheelchair down a set of stairs.
(posted by VB via SM).
I was a late bloomer that sort didn't appeal to me until I was 12.
shite! I never saw that, L.M. I thought we were at the same fair?
You had left already and I found a top secret High Wasp pavillion while searching for a west side exit.
(Don't worry Sally, it wasn't that cute kid with the vindictive Shetland pony.)
oh sure, you ditched me so you could go hangin' with the highbrows.
Perhaps I should begin listing pony-death movies:
1) Gone With The Wind (1939)
2) Barry Lyndon (1975)
3) A Handful of Dust (1988)
(posted by VB via SM)
I could have made movie #4 if that evil Shetland pony had his way.
I'm sorry that you missed the carriage competition. There were only two carriages competing. I think it's the same two every year and they are as perky a bunch of Colonials as you'll ever see.
keep a stiff upper lip! (and a jaunty forelock)
the draft pull went up to 12,500 lbs at the Rodeo. I bet their wasnt a draft pull in yr fancy dancy carriage rides
I bet they don't have a crop art Björk, either:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/1396610571/in/photostream/
(I'm still gonna go)
But hey, wait a minute, where did they get those horse tails, anyway? Did they just cut them off some horse that was getting one of those little bob-things?
Fancy Dancy indeed Anthony. The Gentleman farmers of Ontario do not draft pull and most certainly look down upon those who do.
(I forgot to check which minor royal opened the fair, I think Buckingham Palace looks upon that duty as a suitable punishment for engaging in oral sex with a palace aide.)
Rob, those horse tails looked like they came off animals that died in 1971. (that was the real reason I didn't want to touch them)
I want to add #4 to the pony death movies: 'Billy Jack' (1971)
The best movie ever about an ex-Green Beret hapkido expert who saves wild horses from being slaughtered for dog food.
I love that movie. I have no taste.
Also love Rob Cruickshank's Crop Art Bjork.
The farmers of Ontario do draft pull - check out the small rural communities north of Toronto especially the Fall Fairs where impressive displays of Clydesdales and Belgians do their bit for a fine red ribbon. Nothin' fancy!
But Fred, it's not as much fun as telling Anthony in Alberta that Ontario farmers are all landed gentry, dressed in tuxedos and running petting zoos.
True. But, you wouldn't want to tell that to the real deal living in Grey & Bruce. They laugh at the gentry!
Best horse death is actually at the end of the video game "Shadow of the Colossus". You ride this horse, your only friend, for the whole game. On the last level there's a big gap you need to jump. Horsey will balk unless you go at it full tilt. You get thrown and somehow make the gap but horsey falls to his heroic death. Real motivating for the final battle. "I'm going to kill you, you horse (best friend) killing bastard!". Then after trying and failing about 100 times (it *is* the final battle) you win!
Then it turns out the things you were killing all game were actually ancient gods and you were only killing them because you thought (incorrectly it turns out) that by killing them you could bring your dead girlfriend back to life.
so now your girlfriend is still dead and your horse is dead and you are a social pariah because you killed all the gods and the game is over. Frickin' best game story development ever.
I was going to spend the rest of the day making fun of Ontario High Wasp Royal Winter Fair Culture, but joester just sent me an image of himself and his BFF horsey from Shadow of Colossus
I don't know where to start.
Oh crap, joester. I give up! I just picked up that game again after getting stuck on a level. I spent a couple of hours trying to defeat this one stupid dragon. Now that i know there is no point maybe i'll just ride around, just me and my horse, maybe holding up my sword once and a while to get that erie pulsting glow thing happening. I love how exsitensial this game is.
So, mnobody, is your little outfit as fetching as joester's? What name did you give your noble steed?
that game sounds so sad, so broken, im going to be depressed for the rest of the day,
Sorry for the spoilers, but it *has* been out for a couple of years now.
I don't think I've ever been so pushed and pulled by a game. I wanted to quit a million times because I kept dying due to crappy control issues, yet the whole look of the the game kept me playing.
The game was made by the same creators as ICO which actually has the best video game ending I've seen so far but I won't spoil that one. It shares an amazing visual experience.
yes, anthony, it is depressing - but excitingly so. Every time you kill a monster it's ghostly life force sweeps up your body and overwhelms you and you wake up back at the castle where a mysterious voice tells you about the next monster (god) you must kill. Fun!
and L.M., horsey is not my BFF because he FELL INTO A CHASM AND DIED! BF(until one of us falls into a chasm) maybe.
it does sound amazing.
I've been meaning to get around to picking that game up too,but more importantly, we went to the fair looking for those geese, and were told there were no poultry exhibits because of avian flu. Did you find some sort of poultry speak-easy with a secret knock to get in, or what? All we saw were a few chickens and baby chicks. But we did see a cow getting surgery, with a vet up to his shoulder in the incision.
The poultry were close to the Super Dogs' stadium. We just marched into the enclosure and yelled ENTERTAIN US!
(what I liked best about the poultry section was that it was as close to a Victorian insane asylum as we'll ever get.)
LM, "Victorian insane asylum" should be the title to your new colour crime movie!
|
- sally mckay 11-08-2007 4:11 am
The Royal Winter Fair is the BEST PLACE ON EARTH.
- L.M. 11-08-2007 5:46 am
NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE CANADIAN FINALS RODEO
pix on the blog
- anonymous (guest) 11-08-2007 1:44 pm
that was me, and flickr not blog
- anthony (guest) 11-08-2007 1:45 pm
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879914284/
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879907902/
http://flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/1879084127/
- self linking whore (guest) 11-08-2007 1:51 pm
So did you? Braid his tail?
- M.Jean 11-08-2007 3:46 pm
What are the little buckets for? dread wax? hand sanitizer? simulated horse doo-doo?
- rob (guest) 11-08-2007 5:46 pm
We were too prudish to braid the tail. No idea what those buckets are for! I didn't even see them! (ah the power of the camera). We also saw this...
and this...
and this...
and also this...
- sally mckay 11-08-2007 6:40 pm
Hey Sally, is that last one porcelain, butter or sugar?
- thom (guest) 11-08-2007 7:19 pm
fairy dust
- sally mckay 11-08-2007 8:10 pm
That does it! I am loading my Rolleiflex.
Gotta go and visit the fair.
- tino (guest) 11-08-2007 8:32 pm
We wanted to get there before the weekend because so many of the exhibitors are packing up their livestock by Sunday. (Don't forget to look for the exotic animal education booth with the masturbating monkey, he's in the sheep barn and he can't keep his hands off his manly monkey bits)
- L.M. 11-08-2007 8:40 pm
I went last sat. with my family and saw the show jumping finals. Part of an entire afternoon of entertainment featuring clysdale horses and the superdogs! But the highlight was a two song performance by Canada's own Alanah Myles! They introduced her as returning from an eight year hiatus to perform her hit song 'Black Velvet' as accompaniment to a dressage demonstration. I could only imagine what she was thinking as the horses walked to the stage, turned around, and she was left belting out the chorus to a pair of horse asses.
- mnobody (guest) 11-08-2007 10:21 pm
She's made a bag of money of that song. It's peformed every season on American Idol. (I know someone who bought a house with the royalties on just the bass line) And imagine how many Shetland ponies have been named Black Velvet, she should demand a royalty for that too.
- L.M. 11-08-2007 11:31 pm
I decided my dream farm would have Alpacas. (and me & my unicorn would herd them through fields of sunflowers.)
I took about six minutes of useless footage of this creature who looked too sensitive and ethereal to accept food pellets at the petting zoo. (he had probably pigged out earlier) He had big sweet vacant eyes just like the boys I used to have crushes on when I was 10 years old. (But I usually said something dreadful causing them to back away slowly with a confused look on their Alpaca-like faces.) I am just so glad that I don't do that anymore.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 4:33 am
when you said those dreadful things to them, did they get this look on their faces?
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 4:40 am
Exactly that look, indeed, it was.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 4:44 am
for the record, the guys I got crushes on when I was 10 yrs old looked like this...
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 4:44 am
Other highlights of the Royal Winter Fair included a secret funeral for a Victorian child that was trampled by horses earlier that afternoon.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 4:44 am
...and then he sneeers in a Brooklyn accent: "Wee're gonna be really goood friends, ain't we?...", and then he pushes an old lady in a wheelchair down a set of stairs.
(posted by VB via SM).
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 4:50 am
I was a late bloomer that sort didn't appeal to me until I was 12.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 4:52 am
shite! I never saw that, L.M. I thought we were at the same fair?
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 4:52 am
You had left already and I found a top secret High Wasp pavillion while searching for a west side exit.
(Don't worry Sally, it wasn't that cute kid with the vindictive Shetland pony.)
- L.M. 11-09-2007 4:55 am
oh sure, you ditched me so you could go hangin' with the highbrows.
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 4:58 am
Perhaps I should begin listing pony-death movies:
1) Gone With The Wind (1939)
2) Barry Lyndon (1975)
3) A Handful of Dust (1988)
(posted by VB via SM)
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 5:05 am
I could have made movie #4 if that evil Shetland pony had his way.
I'm sorry that you missed the carriage competition. There were only two carriages competing. I think it's the same two every year and they are as perky a bunch of Colonials as you'll ever see.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 5:15 am
keep a stiff upper lip! (and a jaunty forelock)
- sally mckay 11-09-2007 5:29 am
the draft pull went up to 12,500 lbs at the Rodeo. I bet their wasnt a draft pull in yr fancy dancy carriage rides
- anthony (guest) 11-09-2007 11:21 am
I bet they don't have a crop art Björk, either:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/1396610571/in/photostream/
(I'm still gonna go)
But hey, wait a minute, where did they get those horse tails, anyway? Did they just cut them off some horse that was getting one of those little bob-things?
- rob (guest) 11-09-2007 5:38 pm
Fancy Dancy indeed Anthony. The Gentleman farmers of Ontario do not draft pull and most certainly look down upon those who do.
(I forgot to check which minor royal opened the fair, I think Buckingham Palace looks upon that duty as a suitable punishment for engaging in oral sex with a palace aide.)
- L.M. 11-09-2007 6:10 pm
Rob, those horse tails looked like they came off animals that died in 1971. (that was the real reason I didn't want to touch them)
- L.M. 11-09-2007 6:15 pm
I want to add #4 to the pony death movies: 'Billy Jack' (1971)
The best movie ever about an ex-Green Beret hapkido expert who saves wild horses from being slaughtered for dog food.
- mnobody (guest) 11-09-2007 6:16 pm
I love that movie. I have no taste.
Also love Rob Cruickshank's Crop Art Bjork.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 6:22 pm
The farmers of Ontario do draft pull - check out the small rural communities north of Toronto especially the Fall Fairs where impressive displays of Clydesdales and Belgians do their bit for a fine red ribbon. Nothin' fancy!
- Fred Boomer (guest) 11-09-2007 7:50 pm
But Fred, it's not as much fun as telling Anthony in Alberta that Ontario farmers are all landed gentry, dressed in tuxedos and running petting zoos.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 8:00 pm
True. But, you wouldn't want to tell that to the real deal living in Grey & Bruce. They laugh at the gentry!
- Fred 'Boomerang' Boomer (guest) 11-09-2007 8:11 pm
Best horse death is actually at the end of the video game "Shadow of the Colossus". You ride this horse, your only friend, for the whole game. On the last level there's a big gap you need to jump. Horsey will balk unless you go at it full tilt. You get thrown and somehow make the gap but horsey falls to his heroic death. Real motivating for the final battle. "I'm going to kill you, you horse (best friend) killing bastard!". Then after trying and failing about 100 times (it *is* the final battle) you win!
Then it turns out the things you were killing all game were actually ancient gods and you were only killing them because you thought (incorrectly it turns out) that by killing them you could bring your dead girlfriend back to life.
so now your girlfriend is still dead and your horse is dead and you are a social pariah because you killed all the gods and the game is over. Frickin' best game story development ever.
- joester (guest) 11-09-2007 8:39 pm
I was going to spend the rest of the day making fun of Ontario High Wasp Royal Winter Fair Culture, but joester just sent me an image of himself and his BFF horsey from Shadow of Colossus
I don't know where to start.
- L.M. 11-09-2007 9:35 pm
Oh crap, joester. I give up! I just picked up that game again after getting stuck on a level. I spent a couple of hours trying to defeat this one stupid dragon. Now that i know there is no point maybe i'll just ride around, just me and my horse, maybe holding up my sword once and a while to get that erie pulsting glow thing happening. I love how exsitensial this game is.
- mnobody (guest) 11-09-2007 10:56 pm
So, mnobody, is your little outfit as fetching as joester's? What name did you give your noble steed?
- L.M. 11-10-2007 12:19 am
that game sounds so sad, so broken, im going to be depressed for the rest of the day,
- anthony (guest) 11-10-2007 12:52 am
Sorry for the spoilers, but it *has* been out for a couple of years now.
I don't think I've ever been so pushed and pulled by a game. I wanted to quit a million times because I kept dying due to crappy control issues, yet the whole look of the the game kept me playing.
The game was made by the same creators as ICO which actually has the best video game ending I've seen so far but I won't spoil that one. It shares an amazing visual experience.
yes, anthony, it is depressing - but excitingly so. Every time you kill a monster it's ghostly life force sweeps up your body and overwhelms you and you wake up back at the castle where a mysterious voice tells you about the next monster (god) you must kill. Fun!
- joester (guest) 11-10-2007 2:33 am
and L.M., horsey is not my BFF because he FELL INTO A CHASM AND DIED! BF(until one of us falls into a chasm) maybe.
- joester (guest) 11-10-2007 2:48 am
it does sound amazing.
- anthony (guest) 11-10-2007 5:30 am
I've been meaning to get around to picking that game up too,but more importantly, we went to the fair looking for those geese, and were told there were no poultry exhibits because of avian flu. Did you find some sort of poultry speak-easy with a secret knock to get in, or what? All we saw were a few chickens and baby chicks. But we did see a cow getting surgery, with a vet up to his shoulder in the incision.
- rob (guest) 11-11-2007 3:23 am
The poultry were close to the Super Dogs' stadium. We just marched into the enclosure and yelled ENTERTAIN US!
(what I liked best about the poultry section was that it was as close to a Victorian insane asylum as we'll ever get.)
- L.M. 11-11-2007 4:19 am
LM, "Victorian insane asylum" should be the title to your new colour crime movie!
- joesterVictorian insane asylum (guest) 11-11-2007 10:38 am
- sally mckay 11-11-2007 11:43 pm