Bill Hicks on fundamentalist Christians:
"But get this. I actually asked one of these guys: Okay – dinosaur fossils. How does that fit into your scheme of life? Let me sit down and strap in. He says: 'Dinosaur fossils? God put those here to test our faith.' Thank God I'm strapped in right now here, man. I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. You believe that? 'Uh-huh.' Does that trouble anyone here? The idea that God might be ... fucking with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God running around: 'Ho ho ho. [imitates burying fossils] We will see who believes in me now, ha ha ha. I am God, I am a prankster. I am killing Me, ho ho ho.' You know, you die and go to St. Peter: 'Did you believe in dinosaurs?' 'Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. [sound of trapdoor opening] Aaah!' 'You fucking idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fucking with you!' 'It seemed so plausible! Aaah!' 'Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!'"
and what about all those prankster denominations?
did dave post something? i cant see anything.
The old testament G-d can be a real prick. See Job. Just sayin'.
I've been getting radicalized about the anti-science crowd. I've just finished The Ancestor's Tale. I've been reading PZ Meyers, who's got a post up about that idiot Deutsch. And I've been reading some of the creationist and intelligent design garbage on-line (no links for the moron pages).
I'm pissed. If these anti-science morons want to sit around in moron clubs and trade their moronic superstitions with each other, that's their right. But when they want to undermine public discussion about science, science education, and tax payer funded science, they've crossed a line. Up with this I shall not put.
At the racist / "Christian-Zionist" / Apocalyptic End Timer / Fundamentalist wacko Christian school that I had to attend from 2nd grade through 12th grade, Trinity Christian Academy, the largest Christian school in Texas, where Tom Landry (former Dallas Cowboys coach) and other really super-rich and powerful White Christian Republican Texans send their kids, they actually did teach us that the fossil record was put there to test the christian's faith, but they told us that it was SATAN who put the fossils there, not God... like it makes any difference.
I expand on the "God fucking with you" concept in my "Critical Analysis of the Cosmology of Chrisitanity", at:
http://www.thorrific.com/christianityisstupid.htm
That essay is an attempt to illustrate the stupid, dangerous unconscious mindset and worldview of Christians in general, and the Apocalyptic American Christian in particular.
At Trinity Christian Academy, which was 100 % white for 99.9 % of the time that I attended there, my Bible Class teacher told us that Martin Luther King Jr. was (direct quote):
"The biggest tool of Satan that has been used in this country in the last 50 years."
and to think that these are the kinds of people who run our government and major corporations!!!! SCARY!
we would go hunting for limestone fossils and sharks teeth out in the field at lunchtime at mary immaculate up in farmers branch. the whole state is littered with fossils. seems god was fucking with us overtime in texas.
One of the most compelling things I've seen are the dinosaur footprints near Glen Rose, TX. Something about those three-toed tracks running along a riverbed gets it across better even than fossil skeletons that these critters lived and skampered and fed when we were just a gleam in the Trickster God's eye.
There are creationist cracker "museums" nearby, mostly in roadside trailers, that purport to prove that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time--e.g., an "iron hammer" found in the same fossil layers as dinos.
Once when I was out there I overheard some conservative Christians talking about the river tracks. One said "We'll all know the real answers when we're in the hereafter."
I still marvel at this idea that one of the perks of the afterlife will be getting to watch a big DVD with all the timelines of Earth available for fast-forwarding and freeze-framing.
Thor I am absolutely blown away by your description of your science education. I remember a nun outlining the big bang theory to us in grade one. We had to wait until grade two to learn about natural selection. (perhaps I've been a bit hard on those dear old hens)
Hi L.M.,
you actually got told about the Big Bang & Natural Selection ??!?
It would seem the Catholic school system is not quite as crazy as the Evangelical version.
That's why I always say that Catholicism has nothing to do with Christianity, it's about world power and major intellectual arrogance. (that would explain also the recent declarations by the Vatican that science and religion are not in conflict. They are really saying 'don't mistake us for those evangelical blockheads') Catholic education's special area of retardation will always be on the subject of sexuality.
My Catholic education was different, but it was in the Cretacious Period, which was a while ago. ;)
In the 7-8th grade I debated creationism vs. evolution with a nun. After battling for a day or two, I quit the fight in disgust. Many of my classmates, who had been in Catholic school since the first grade, had already been brainwashed to be subservient to the hierarchy. I decided that is wasn't my job to teach them.
In 9th grade biology (at a Jesuit high school) I don't recall the concept of natural selection or evolution ever being mentioned. Common origins was never discussed as the basis for the taxonomy we were expected to memorize. What a sick, sad waste.
I will put in a good word here for the Midland, Texas public school system, which nurtured both devils (His Fraudulence) and angels (me).
It was down the line empirical, Enlightenment, Founding Fathers' skepticism about religion, Darwinian, scientific method, humanist, relativist--an excellent fucking education.
Partly it was because oil money gave the city a good tax base and they attracted good teachers from all over the country.
My Midland schooling was way better than the Northern Virginia public school where I did my last year and a half of high school.
Also, my Midland public schooling was during the "busing to achieve racial balance" era so we had an actual ethnic mix--blacks, Latinos, and goat ropers.
Thor, I'm surprised that the well-heeled of Dallas sent their kids to a school that didn't prepare them intellectually for the modern world--for social reasons if nothing else you'd think those parents would want "the best"--not some jive cracker superstition. I'm glad you survived with your brain intact and curious.
Thanks Tom, I sure hope my brain is intact!
www.dallasobserver.com/Issues/2006-02-09/news/feature.html
This week's Dallas Observer has a big article about Dallas Theological Seminary and how it is the font of most all of the Dispensationalist / End-Timer / Evangelistic movement in the world. It also tells how some DTS profs are trying to come up with "Progressive Dispensationalism", because the regular version seems just too plain crazy... but if you ask me that is just trading hard-core insanity for insanity-lite.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that when I went to Trinity Christian Academy (in the 80's) nearly every teacher there was a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary... TCA and DTS are pretty much sister institutions. I have to drive past DTS almost every day and damn do those students there look creepy.
TJ you really got to get out of dallas. ever consider new orleans?
Well, it sounds fun, but my SO wants to move to like portland or somewhere. Several of my friends are doing relief work in NOLA and they wanted me to come down, but I have a job that takes up a lot of my time....
portland sounds cool.
"sounds" Don't go pretending you've never been here.
the "move" to portland sounds cool. portland is cool and is the polar opposite of dallas. steve is cool and lives in portland. cool?
well, she lived in portland before, & she hates Big D even more than me. She is not from here, I am & I'm pretty used to it, & even find it amusing, as long as I can stay out of danger. Believe it or not Dallas is the most violent city in USA... we also have the most churches & the most titty bars of any city! I bet it is the same people who attend... Saturday nite at The Men's Club & Sunday morn at First Baptist!
|
Bill Hicks on fundamentalist Christians:
- tom moody 2-05-2006 2:48 am
and what about all those prankster denominations?
- dave 2-05-2006 3:10 am
did dave post something? i cant see anything.
- bill 2-05-2006 3:13 am
The old testament G-d can be a real prick. See Job. Just sayin'.
I've been getting radicalized about the anti-science crowd. I've just finished The Ancestor's Tale. I've been reading PZ Meyers, who's got a post up about that idiot Deutsch. And I've been reading some of the creationist and intelligent design garbage on-line (no links for the moron pages).
I'm pissed. If these anti-science morons want to sit around in moron clubs and trade their moronic superstitions with each other, that's their right. But when they want to undermine public discussion about science, science education, and tax payer funded science, they've crossed a line. Up with this I shall not put.
- mark 2-05-2006 4:58 am
At the racist / "Christian-Zionist" / Apocalyptic End Timer / Fundamentalist wacko Christian school that I had to attend from 2nd grade through 12th grade, Trinity Christian Academy, the largest Christian school in Texas, where Tom Landry (former Dallas Cowboys coach) and other really super-rich and powerful White Christian Republican Texans send their kids, they actually did teach us that the fossil record was put there to test the christian's faith, but they told us that it was SATAN who put the fossils there, not God... like it makes any difference.
I expand on the "God fucking with you" concept in my "Critical Analysis of the Cosmology of Chrisitanity", at:
http://www.thorrific.com/christianityisstupid.htm
That essay is an attempt to illustrate the stupid, dangerous unconscious mindset and worldview of Christians in general, and the Apocalyptic American Christian in particular.
At Trinity Christian Academy, which was 100 % white for 99.9 % of the time that I attended there, my Bible Class teacher told us that Martin Luther King Jr. was (direct quote):
"The biggest tool of Satan that has been used in this country in the last 50 years."
and to think that these are the kinds of people who run our government and major corporations!!!! SCARY!
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-06-2006 9:53 pm
we would go hunting for limestone fossils and sharks teeth out in the field at lunchtime at mary immaculate up in farmers branch. the whole state is littered with fossils. seems god was fucking with us overtime in texas.
- bill 2-06-2006 10:05 pm
One of the most compelling things I've seen are the dinosaur footprints near Glen Rose, TX. Something about those three-toed tracks running along a riverbed gets it across better even than fossil skeletons that these critters lived and skampered and fed when we were just a gleam in the Trickster God's eye.
There are creationist cracker "museums" nearby, mostly in roadside trailers, that purport to prove that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time--e.g., an "iron hammer" found in the same fossil layers as dinos.
Once when I was out there I overheard some conservative Christians talking about the river tracks. One said "We'll all know the real answers when we're in the hereafter."
I still marvel at this idea that one of the perks of the afterlife will be getting to watch a big DVD with all the timelines of Earth available for fast-forwarding and freeze-framing.
- tom moody 2-06-2006 10:24 pm
Thor I am absolutely blown away by your description of your science education. I remember a nun outlining the big bang theory to us in grade one. We had to wait until grade two to learn about natural selection. (perhaps I've been a bit hard on those dear old hens)
- L.M. 2-06-2006 10:57 pm
Hi L.M.,
you actually got told about the Big Bang & Natural Selection ??!?
It would seem the Catholic school system is not quite as crazy as the Evangelical version.
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-06-2006 11:07 pm
That's why I always say that Catholicism has nothing to do with Christianity, it's about world power and major intellectual arrogance. (that would explain also the recent declarations by the Vatican that science and religion are not in conflict. They are really saying 'don't mistake us for those evangelical blockheads') Catholic education's special area of retardation will always be on the subject of sexuality.
- L.M. 2-06-2006 11:25 pm
My Catholic education was different, but it was in the Cretacious Period, which was a while ago. ;)
In the 7-8th grade I debated creationism vs. evolution with a nun. After battling for a day or two, I quit the fight in disgust. Many of my classmates, who had been in Catholic school since the first grade, had already been brainwashed to be subservient to the hierarchy. I decided that is wasn't my job to teach them.
In 9th grade biology (at a Jesuit high school) I don't recall the concept of natural selection or evolution ever being mentioned. Common origins was never discussed as the basis for the taxonomy we were expected to memorize. What a sick, sad waste.
- mark 2-07-2006 3:06 am
I will put in a good word here for the Midland, Texas public school system, which nurtured both devils (His Fraudulence) and angels (me).
It was down the line empirical, Enlightenment, Founding Fathers' skepticism about religion, Darwinian, scientific method, humanist, relativist--an excellent fucking education.
Partly it was because oil money gave the city a good tax base and they attracted good teachers from all over the country.
My Midland schooling was way better than the Northern Virginia public school where I did my last year and a half of high school.
Also, my Midland public schooling was during the "busing to achieve racial balance" era so we had an actual ethnic mix--blacks, Latinos, and goat ropers.
Thor, I'm surprised that the well-heeled of Dallas sent their kids to a school that didn't prepare them intellectually for the modern world--for social reasons if nothing else you'd think those parents would want "the best"--not some jive cracker superstition. I'm glad you survived with your brain intact and curious.
- tom moody 2-07-2006 3:23 am
Thanks Tom, I sure hope my brain is intact!
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-07-2006 6:14 pm
www.dallasobserver.com/Issues/2006-02-09/news/feature.html
This week's Dallas Observer has a big article about Dallas Theological Seminary and how it is the font of most all of the Dispensationalist / End-Timer / Evangelistic movement in the world. It also tells how some DTS profs are trying to come up with "Progressive Dispensationalism", because the regular version seems just too plain crazy... but if you ask me that is just trading hard-core insanity for insanity-lite.
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-09-2006 7:17 pm
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that when I went to Trinity Christian Academy (in the 80's) nearly every teacher there was a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary... TCA and DTS are pretty much sister institutions. I have to drive past DTS almost every day and damn do those students there look creepy.
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-10-2006 1:58 am
TJ you really got to get out of dallas. ever consider new orleans?
- bill 2-10-2006 3:02 am
Well, it sounds fun, but my SO wants to move to like portland or somewhere. Several of my friends are doing relief work in NOLA and they wanted me to come down, but I have a job that takes up a lot of my time....
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-10-2006 5:41 pm
portland sounds cool.
- bill 2-10-2006 5:50 pm
"sounds" Don't go pretending you've never been here.
- steve 2-10-2006 7:05 pm
the "move" to portland sounds cool. portland is cool and is the polar opposite of dallas. steve is cool and lives in portland. cool?
- bill 2-10-2006 7:10 pm
well, she lived in portland before, & she hates Big D even more than me. She is not from here, I am & I'm pretty used to it, & even find it amusing, as long as I can stay out of danger. Believe it or not Dallas is the most violent city in USA... we also have the most churches & the most titty bars of any city! I bet it is the same people who attend... Saturday nite at The Men's Club & Sunday morn at First Baptist!
- Thor Johnson (guest) 2-10-2006 8:19 pm