 The Young Turds were a Washington, DC punk-era band with a vision, heart, garage rock sincerity, noir-ish humor, and about an LP's worth of tunes never committed to vinyl (with one exception). Emerging in Fairfax County, Virginia in the late '70s, they played many dates there as well as in DC proper, sharing the stage with better-known groups of the time. Their song "Murder One" (.mp3 below) appeared on the seminal compilation 30 Seconds Over DC (Limp Records, 1978) along with such giants as the Slickee Boys, White Boy, Da Moronics, and 1/2 Japanese. They also shared a bill with District legends the Bad Brains, at a Yippee-sponsored "Smoke-In" on the Washington Mall. Eventually they morphed into other bands (see below) but the "Turd thing" was unique.
A reviewer at the time called them a "zoned-out Roxy Music" but their sound really has more in common with Cleveland bands such as the Electric Eels, albeit not as extreme or angsty. At least one member, sax player Kevin Landes, had some music theory and you can hear it in songs like "One Mad Act" and "Hold at All Costs." What sounds today like a Klezmer influence was most likely unconscious. Whatever ambitions the group had to rise above three-chord rock, their sound is very raw and home-schooled, like so many of the groups of that DIY era. Landes and his brother Kerry had a Rodgers & Hart-style songwriting collaboration going back to their childhoods (or perhaps Siegel & Shuster, as manifested in comic book-themed tunes they occasionally still played as adults, such as "Gorilla Boss"). This collaboration spilled over into the Turds' songwriting. "One Mad Act" dramatizes the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, partly in tribute to the Landes's father, who had a voluminous basement library of Lincolnabilia.
Three of the songs below are covers. The one by the King is obvious, but you might not know that "Green Slime" is the theme of the 60s sci-fi film of the same name, or that "Tapeworm of Love" ("eating my heart out over you") is by Brute Force, a quirky singer/songwriter the Landeses were fond of. Many of the songs were about murder and violence, as befitted the end of the '70s, an era of social turbulence and malaise that continued until President Reagan brought Morning back to America in the '80s, or so the story goes. Kerry Landes's murky singing style made the lyrics difficult to understand but occasional snatches ("teenage boy with a deranged mind/cruising for burgers is not hard to find") give you a pretty good idea what's going on.
Below is a selection of .mp3s. Except for "Murder One," from the Limp compilation, the songs were ripped from a cassette of a reel-to-reel master, originally recorded in a bandmember's friend's basement studio. A few minor blemishes can be heard on the ancient cassette tape.
"Green Slime" [2:09 min. - 2.9 MB]
"Berserker" [2:55 min. - 4.2 MB]
"Hold at All Costs" [3:59 min. - 5.8 MB]
"Tapeworm of Love" [2:38 min. - 3.7 MB]
"One Mad Act" [5:16 min. - 7.5 MB]
"Burn1ng Love" [2:21 min. - 3.3 MB]
"Vigilante" [5:12 min. - 7.5 MB]
"Murder One" [3:09 min. - 4.5 MB]
Personnel are Tim Carter (bass), Kevin Landes (saxophone), Kerry Landes (vocals), Paul Ragan (lead guitar), Steve Walker (rhythm guitar), and Tom Payne (sensible drums). The Turds dissolved sometime in 1980, but various members continued playing in DC bands. Carter, Landes, and Walker formed The French Are From Hell (still active) after one of them (Carter?) saw an appalling documentary about the ostensible Gallic taste for munching live birds, and Carter, Payne, and Walker were mainstays of the Assbeaters, fronted by singer, novelist, and zine-producer Mark Mellon, which survived until fairly recently (.mp3s of taped material to follow). Comments, corrections, and kvetches (within reason) regarding this page are welcome: just click [add a comment] below. 
top to bottom: Steve Walker, Kevin Landes, Kerry Landes.
photos by Tom Moody
Two Howard S.M. Wuelfing reviews from back in the day (pinched from :30
under DC):
back to tom moody's weblog
Not that it matters in the grand scheme (excepting for the fact that I like seeing my name in print) but I was also a participant in The French Are From Hell as well as The Assbeaters. Wotta genius!! Me mum would be so proud! Walker...StWalker55(at)msn(dot)com
Hi,
I attended W.T. Woodson HS in Fairfax, VA with Kerry and Kevin. I lost touch shortly thereafter. On the few occassions I've been back to the DC area since then, I've tried looking Vespucci up, but without success. Just wanted them to know I think of them now and again, and wish them well. Also, just to let them know I survived. I'd love to hear from either of them huppbrian(at)earthlink(dot)net. I do have one question, though, "Did the little girl have balls in her hair?"
Brian
Hi, Steve and Brian,
Thanks for commenting here. Brian, I'll get your message to the Landeses soon, I hope. (I have something I need to send to Kevin.) I remember standing in Giant Music (where I was working) with you singing along with We're Only In It For the Money in the summer of '73; I also remember hanging out with you at John Lawson's and some other places. Steve, I've added your corrections, thanks. Hope you're doing well.
Just wanted to say thanks a million for the info and the tunes. The Young Turds aren't a band I was that familiar with, had heard the name but never the music.
I love it. So THANKS. :o)
Glad you liked it, Limey.
Thanks to pmragan for the amusing commentary here [dead link].
And another reference here.
Hey Tom,
it's pretty great to see those Landes boys and the Turds also mentioned in general. Remind me to send you pixures of Charlie's daughter, Antigone. She looks just like him, only she's a gal, and she's durned cute. So if Charlie was a 12 year old brilliant pretty gal, he'd be..oh, forget it. Anyway, Antig made quite an impression amongst the Little Prince's friends. she can sing. She likes Ella Fitzgerald and Sibelius and Tom Lehrer equally.
asbestos,
P that baboon ass florida lady
it feels like a million years ago.
|
The Young Turds were a Washington, DC punk-era band with a vision, heart, garage rock sincerity, noir-ish humor, and about an LP's worth of tunes never committed to vinyl (with one exception). Emerging in Fairfax County, Virginia in the late '70s, they played many dates there as well as in DC proper, sharing the stage with better-known groups of the time. Their song "Murder One" (.mp3 below) appeared on the seminal compilation 30 Seconds Over DC (Limp Records, 1978) along with such giants as the Slickee Boys, White Boy, Da Moronics, and 1/2 Japanese. They also shared a bill with District legends the Bad Brains, at a Yippee-sponsored "Smoke-In" on the Washington Mall. Eventually they morphed into other bands (see below) but the "Turd thing" was unique.
A reviewer at the time called them a "zoned-out Roxy Music" but their sound really has more in common with Cleveland bands such as the Electric Eels, albeit not as extreme or angsty. At least one member, sax player Kevin Landes, had some music theory and you can hear it in songs like "One Mad Act" and "Hold at All Costs." What sounds today like a Klezmer influence was most likely unconscious. Whatever ambitions the group had to rise above three-chord rock, their sound is very raw and home-schooled, like so many of the groups of that DIY era. Landes and his brother Kerry had a Rodgers & Hart-style songwriting collaboration going back to their childhoods (or perhaps Siegel & Shuster, as manifested in comic book-themed tunes they occasionally still played as adults, such as "Gorilla Boss"). This collaboration spilled over into the Turds' songwriting. "One Mad Act" dramatizes the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, partly in tribute to the Landes's father, who had a voluminous basement library of Lincolnabilia.
Three of the songs below are covers. The one by the King is obvious, but you might not know that "Green Slime" is the theme of the 60s sci-fi film of the same name, or that "Tapeworm of Love" ("eating my heart out over you") is by Brute Force, a quirky singer/songwriter the Landeses were fond of. Many of the songs were about murder and violence, as befitted the end of the '70s, an era of social turbulence and malaise that continued until President Reagan brought Morning back to America in the '80s, or so the story goes. Kerry Landes's murky singing style made the lyrics difficult to understand but occasional snatches ("teenage boy with a deranged mind/cruising for burgers is not hard to find") give you a pretty good idea what's going on.
Below is a selection of .mp3s. Except for "Murder One," from the Limp compilation, the songs were ripped from a cassette of a reel-to-reel master, originally recorded in a bandmember's friend's basement studio. A few minor blemishes can be heard on the ancient cassette tape.
"Green Slime" [2:09 min. - 2.9 MB]
"Berserker" [2:55 min. - 4.2 MB]
"Hold at All Costs" [3:59 min. - 5.8 MB]
"Tapeworm of Love" [2:38 min. - 3.7 MB]
"One Mad Act" [5:16 min. - 7.5 MB]
"Burn1ng Love" [2:21 min. - 3.3 MB]
"Vigilante" [5:12 min. - 7.5 MB]
"Murder One" [3:09 min. - 4.5 MB]
Personnel are Tim Carter (bass), Kevin Landes (saxophone), Kerry Landes (vocals), Paul Ragan (lead guitar), Steve Walker (rhythm guitar), and Tom Payne (sensible drums). The Turds dissolved sometime in 1980, but various members continued playing in DC bands. Carter, Landes, and Walker formed The French Are From Hell (still active) after one of them (Carter?) saw an appalling documentary about the ostensible Gallic taste for munching live birds, and Carter, Payne, and Walker were mainstays of the Assbeaters, fronted by singer, novelist, and zine-producer Mark Mellon, which survived until fairly recently (.mp3s of taped material to follow). Comments, corrections, and kvetches (within reason) regarding this page are welcome: just click [add a comment] below.
top to bottom: Steve Walker, Kevin Landes, Kerry Landes.
photos by Tom Moody
Two Howard S.M. Wuelfing reviews from back in the day (pinched from :30 under DC):
back to tom moody's weblog
- tom moody 2-27-2004 6:10 pm
Not that it matters in the grand scheme (excepting for the fact that I like seeing my name in print) but I was also a participant in The French Are From Hell as well as The Assbeaters. Wotta genius!! Me mum would be so proud! Walker...StWalker55(at)msn(dot)com
- Steven Walker (guest) 5-15-2004 6:56 pm
Hi,
I attended W.T. Woodson HS in Fairfax, VA with Kerry and Kevin. I lost touch shortly thereafter. On the few occassions I've been back to the DC area since then, I've tried looking Vespucci up, but without success. Just wanted them to know I think of them now and again, and wish them well. Also, just to let them know I survived. I'd love to hear from either of them huppbrian(at)earthlink(dot)net. I do have one question, though, "Did the little girl have balls in her hair?"
Brian
- Brian Hupp (guest) 6-16-2004 8:15 pm
Hi, Steve and Brian,
Thanks for commenting here. Brian, I'll get your message to the Landeses soon, I hope. (I have something I need to send to Kevin.) I remember standing in Giant Music (where I was working) with you singing along with We're Only In It For the Money in the summer of '73; I also remember hanging out with you at John Lawson's and some other places. Steve, I've added your corrections, thanks. Hope you're doing well.
- tom moody 6-25-2004 7:20 pm
Just wanted to say thanks a million for the info and the tunes. The Young Turds aren't a band I was that familiar with, had heard the name but never the music.
I love it. So THANKS. :o)
- Limey (guest) 4-09-2006 10:11 am
Glad you liked it, Limey.
Thanks to pmragan for the amusing commentary here [dead link].
And another reference here.
- tom moody 4-09-2006 9:10 pm
Hey Tom, it's pretty great to see those Landes boys and the Turds also mentioned in general. Remind me to send you pixures of Charlie's daughter, Antigone. She looks just like him, only she's a gal, and she's durned cute. So if Charlie was a 12 year old brilliant pretty gal, he'd be..oh, forget it. Anyway, Antig made quite an impression amongst the Little Prince's friends. she can sing. She likes Ella Fitzgerald and Sibelius and Tom Lehrer equally. asbestos, P that baboon ass florida lady
- Patricia Fucking Ragan, bitch! 5-01-2006 6:44 am
it feels like a million years ago.
- timothy carter (guest) 8-31-2013 6:14 am