I hear that the unintentionally campy teen diva Charlotte Church has been biologically catapulted into a possibly premature ladyhood-yes, the Church now has steeples-and her handlers are freaking out about how to market this newly tumescent creation. Having a Britney Spears type singing "Ave Maria" wasn't exactly what they had in mind, even if they are trying to cross her over into pop. Expect much strapping down of bosoms, which will prompt even higher notes.