...more recent posts
I was afraid that the president might order the Butthole Surfers tour canceled. Not for any specific reason, but because it’s just not the sort of thing America needs at the moment...
They always have at least one intolerable song on each album, and this time it’s Jet Fighter. Rendered timely by recent events, it’s a sort of Sky Pilot turned inside out for the new war. If they have any sense of propriety they won’t be playing it live.
Ha!
Jet Fighter
Jet fighters never die...
Mikey was a little boy he loved to watch the clouds
He was born to fly
Mikey joined the navy his father was quite proud
Mother never wanted it that way
He got into the cockpit and rose up in the sky
Set his sights on Beirut then he let his missiles fly
Boom boom
Jet fighters never die
I don’t know but I’ve been told
It’s been said that god is dead
Jet fighters never cry
Jet fighters never die
The general smoked a Cuban blunt hand rolled by the Reds
Then he poured a glass of scotch and tallied up the dead...
The fighter banked into the night then he caught a SAM
He rose up into heaven with Jesus in his hand
Scenery was so beautiful could not believe his eyes
Then he spotted John Wayne he knew he had arrived
Jesus interrupted him he had something to tell
They had to speak with Allah and he sent them both to Hell
Boom boom
Bum rush for return to Irony
Ironic Times
New York anthrax case confirmed
An NBC employee in New York has tested postive for anthrax, network officials have told CNN. Details soon -
"anthrax is not cool anymore. we're changing our name to ebola."
Ode to the Middle of Nowhere
What is it about Central Asia?
From the so-called Aryans, to the Huns and the Hordes, not to mention Timur the Iron Limper; there's always some threat to civilization issuing from this inhospitable zone. Alexander the Great turned back there, along with Kipling's Britain (check the last verse). I can see why people want to leave, but what are they doing there to begin with? History's losers, forced beyond the margins, until they've grown as hard as the country? We're talking about people whose favorite sport involves a bunch of guys on horseback and a goat carcass. People expect the world to end in the Middle East, but I say keep your eye on Central Asia. Maybe we should ask Pynchon about it.
Anyway, the point I'm getting to is that the area provides the perfect name for the current military campaign. This has been a problem, as Operation Infinite Justice was dumped, supposedly in deference to our Moslem friends. Actually, it's got a ring to it, and will likely turn up as the title of a Schwarzenneger movie next year. Enduring Freedom, or whatever it is now, is no good. Clumsy, and whose freedom are we talking about? And forget Muslims, it ought to be objectionable to Christians. Doesn't the Bible teach that the works of man are passing, and only God endures? As far as I know, heaven is not a democracy.
I'm proposing Operation Baluchitherium, named after the largest land mammal ever to walk the earth. Imposing animals have a long tradition as totems and military mascots. I think a giant, extinct, hornless rhinoceros makes a fine symbol for our present deployment. And where's it from? You guessed it; Central Asia.
What is it with that place?
Our office building at 26 Federal Plaza was just evacuated. One of my clerks said he heard banging noises and then saw people running from the building. I looked into the hall and saw the staff of the security office next door running out. No PA announcement, no evidence of standard fire-drill type emergency procedures. It turned out to be noise from some construction equipment. They let us back in after about twenty minutes, and made an announcement that construction noises on the 14th floor may be ongoing. Didn't tell us how to distinguish between construction and terror noises. People are a bit edgy around here.
WWMD: What Would MacGyver Do?
now if only the rest of america didnt have to hear him.......
Random bird story for Alex: American oriole wings its way across Atlantic to Baltimore, Ireland
This item is in Slate's "Today's Papers" feature for 10/9/01. I can't find reference to it elsewhere. Are there any more details? It sounds like a major story if it's true.
"USAT fronts and everybody else stuffs word that yesterday a man broke into the cockpit of a Los Angeles to Chicago airliner. After a struggle during which the plane rocked violently, the man was subdued by passengers and, escorted by Air Force fighters, the aircraft then made a safe landing in Chicago."
From the L.A. Times (link via liberalartsmafia)
Winding up a speech, Bush said America will be tough and resolute to defeat terrorists so future generations can live in peace. "And there is no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail," the president said.Can't they get some animatronics or something so this guy doesn't have to speak for himself in public?
John Lilly died 09-30-01. Here's the Times obit.:
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/10/07/obituaries/07LILL.html?searchpv=nytToday
we have begun bombing and i dont really know what we can do to have peace on earth, or what is best to do in this situation (i am just a wine dealer) but i fear that life will never be the same again, of course i am not knowledgable enough to agree with all of this but think he makes some good points (originally posted by dratfink)....
this probably seemed like a better idea a month ago.
all your opinions belong to us
I recieved this email today. Jim, what's the scoop on this supposed virus which attacks mac's as well as pc's?
Very Urgent!!!!!!!
PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE YOU HAVE AN E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR.
If you receive an email titled:
"It Takes Guts to Say Jesus"
DO NOT OPEN IT.
It will erase everything on your hard drive. This information was announced yesterday morning from ; AOL states that this is a very dangerous virus, much worse than "Melissa," and that there is NO Remedy for it at this time.
Some very sick individual has succeeded in using the reformat function from Norton Utilities causing it to completely erase all documents on the hard drive. It has been designed to work with Netscape Navigator and Microsoft Internet Explorer. It destroys Macintosh and IBM compatible computers. This is a
new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it. Pass this warning along to EVERYONE in your address book ! and please share it with all your online friends ASAP so that this threat maybe stopped. Please practice cautionary measures and tell anyone that may have access to your computer.
Forward this warning to everyone that you know that might access the Internet.
Joyce L. Bober
IBM Information Systems Pittsburgh Mailing Systems
412 - 922-8744
guess i just inadvertently got as close to the president as i ever will. if youre keeping track that would be approximately 10 feet. his motorcade drove across grand st and then turned north on the bowery. as everyone was forced behind the baracades and blockaded onto the sidewalk, i wasnt going anywhere so i stood and watched like everyone else who was stuck between bowery and christie and beyond. as the motorcade made its way down the block, i was thinking it must have been a pretty odd sight from within the heavily armored oversized limo that carried the dignitaries to see the street lined four deep with asian americans many with flags outstretched. but maybe thats the type of scene you become immune to if you are often stumping across the highways/byways of america. but i would think now with the events at hand its hyperrealized.
i cant actually say i saw the shrub . the windows were semitranslucent and the only person i could make out was an older gentleman who wore large framed glasses as he waved to the onlookers. he looked like an investment banker or an ambassador -- old rich and familiar with the trappings of power.
the last police escort finally moved through and eventually all the cruisers that were blocking the intersections disengaged and finally the barricades were released and everyone sputtered on their way.
I ran an estate sale for my boss over the weekend. I now have a 70's style beigh leather sectional sofa (cheezy yet cool) , a set of 60's italian stainless steel pots and pans with cool handels (industrial chic) a new HP PC "pavilion" (super hotrod) and a 1972 pinball machine "wild lIfe" cartoon tarzan and jane motif (one busted rubberband, otherwise fully opperational) and a small bit of pay. Pinball competition anyone ?
now theyve really gone too far. strom thurmond just collapsed on the senate floor. (damn those terrorists!) can jesse helms be far behind?
my email and internet explorer are dead or so it seems, i opened an attachement from hungary and got the goo lash virus, jim what can we do if any thing, nortan antivirus zip disked in by linda has found 38 infected programs and 3 common virus's but could delete only 4 programs and one virus the 34 on my restore part of C disk cant be helped per nortan and i cant iE, OE but can use the rest of the computer......OUCH