...more recent posts
"I'm a white boy, but I can be bad too."
On Boogie on
"A DJ who was known as Mr. Mark on my college radio station recently passed away. He introduced me
to the art of freeform radio through his interesting selection of wacky music interspersed with bizzarre,
sarcastic, made-up stories that intermix subtle references to the Lehigh Valley with political satire and
general making-fun-of life." WMUH - Muhlenberg College's radio station is paying tribute. Go to here
to find the link to the internet feed."
"As close to verbatim as I can remember a Mr. Mark story (listened to so many times that it plays nearly
automatically in my head)":
On last week's show we showed you kids how to call up a demon for show-and-tell. This week, we're
going to teach you how to make a pumpkin-headed scarecrow wake up and come alive. Most of you
already have a large collection of pumpkin-headed scarecrows which you've stolen throughout the autumn.
Pick your favorite and lay him out on your examination table. At this point you'll have to wait for a bolt of
lightning to course through your mad-genius equipment. Let's check today's weather -- clear and sunny,
what a bad break. Plan B is to clip on a set of jumper cables, one to the pumpkin-head, and the other to
your own earlobe. When you step on the gas, your mind will go into the scarecrow's body, which is the
next best thing. Now, run amok, and terrorize your neighborhood. Remember to take your pumpkin head
off and throw it at people for a quick thrill. And remember to avoid fire, the living scarecrow's deadly
enemy. Listen to your local fire chief when he says: Attention arsonists. Keeping you people from burning
your own homes down out of sheer carelessness is like trying to stop the tides. They're cutting our budget
again, and you oily-rag-saving, cigarette-tossing barbeque chefs and trash-burners are breeding like
rabbits. Soon we'll be outnumbered, and the united planet of earth will go up like an origami paperweight.
---------------------------------
"OK, just one more. I had to go back to the tapes for this one (thanks, Bill) and transcribe. But realize also
that reading it and listening to Mr. Mark read it are two different things altogether."
---------------------------------
Hello, folks. I’m Mr. Mark, with a wintertime riddle: how many giant-sized cyclops vultures could hatch out
of a forty-foot egg, in your opinion. The answer can be found through a close examination of our nation’s
freeway system. Socrates observed more than two thousand years ago that snipers may kill passing
motorists in order to get their unborn babies through a crude cesarean section. But the motorist may then
behead the sniper and write REDRUM in blood all over the turnpike, making the roadway slippery, and
causing a 13-vehicle pileup at rush hour.
On the other hand, when a wealthy rock star choked on a hamburger in Philadelphia yesterday, a team of
medical experts arrived to take him, via helicopter, around the world on a sightseeing trip to take his mind
off it. Sure enough, somewhere over the Cayman Islands, the piece of burger in his throat dislodged, but he
died anyway of a broken heart when the engine died and they fell into a munitions factory.
I’m Mr. Mark, with a wintertime riddle: what do you get when you sneak into a discount drugstore, after
hours, dressed as a priest, and try to buy a prescription oriental slave girl over the counter without legal
I.D.?
If you know the answer, you could win a major Allentown dairy, lock stock and barrel. Or a dog food
cannery – the whole business, including all debts and liabilities. Listen and win.
* * *
Hey folks.
This is Mr. Mark with a public service announcement from the Department of Motor Vehicles in
Harrisburg. Once upon a time, there was a gun-packin’ maniac who had a crazy grudge against mooses.
Now this particular maniac had never seen automobiles before, because he stayed indoors, and didn’t have
a TV set. So when he saw a car for the first time, he thought it was a square blue moose and shot at it,
whereupon the gas tank exploded and knocked the maniac up into the sky, through the radiation belt, and
back down again.
Well, the radiation affected him, and after he landed he became a criminal genius and organized a gang of
juvenile delinquents. With hi-tech weaponry and computers, they sought the arrest and execution of all
mooses on earth. The FBI ambushed these crazy extremists after they blew up a plaster of Bullwinkle in a
miniature golf course, and placed them in suspended animation until a future age when there’d be enough
jail space to sentence them.
Well, when the maniac thawed out ten centuries later, he found intelligent grasshoppers had taken over the
world, and they sentenced him to go back in time to the twentieth century, as an Allentown dog food
executive for twenty years with no hope of parole. But when he arrived, the scent of moose meat in the
slaughterhouse sent him off on another one of his spells, and he killed three fourths of the stockholders,
after which the value of the shares skyrocketed, and the company gave him a bonus, and a percentage of
the gross.
Little did the maniac know that all the while a trap was being laid for him by a vengeful moose, who had
human hands grafted onto his front legs. The killer moose caught him in the booth of an adult bookstore,
and plugged all the holes to adjacent booths, and the maniac died of loneliness, and lack of air.
This has been a public service announcement from the State Department, and your local division of police
informants.
And there’s no factory.
No "Who Cares" Yet : GWB's own words
fulify your website. it says it makes pages ugly but nothing could ruin the elegant layout of df.
I don't particularly recommend this article offering armchair Bush psychoanalysis, but it's interesting that "who cares what you think" has been picked up by bigger media. How long before it appears in the Times (Dowd)?
He does seem to have a mean side. This can be seen in the chilling relish he displayed in an interview with Talk magazine when imitating death row inmate Karla Faye Tucker's voice ("'Please,' Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, 'don't kill me'") and the alleged Fourth of July incident in which he dismissed a man who said he disagreed with his policies, saying "Who cares what you think!"
heres a strange page on which to find a link to fink.
"Do you keep the misguided gifts from mother and father with inscriptions? Mother is older, so you keep the one’s from her and donate most of father’s."
space saving tip: rip out the inscription page of all misguided gifts, stash in draw, give books to housing works....
survivers party
"It's not the heat, it's the stupidity"
this is not the french guiana i will see next week:<(
Eudora Welty dead @ 92
For Mr. Wilson: the fat birder webring
Sad news about the quiet Beatle.
I blog because I hope that if enough people are exposed to points of view that expand consciousness the attended world, there is hope we can transcend our current folly. Thus, the accumulated weight of the community of blogness is a force of transmemetic nature that may even make a massive difference. from abuddhas memes
I just learned that author J. H. Hatfield, an early casualty of the Bush presidential campaign, recently committed suicide in a hotel room in Arkansas. You may recall that his book, Fortunate Son, alleged that Bush did community service for a cocaine bust in 1972. Karl Rove & Co went on the attack, tipping off the right-wing Dallas Morning News that Hatfield had done jail time for a bizarre conspiracy to car bomb his boss. Immediately the media attention shifted to Hatfield, who was humiliated and cut loose by his publisher St Martin's Press (who had rushed his book into print without thorough fact-checking). After that, recall that nobody talked about GWB's coke use for the rest of the campaign. NYU media prof. Mark Crispin Miller wrote a foreword to the recently-released 2nd edition of Fortunate Son; it's worth reading.
Following the unconnected thread to Jims's "hey, hey, hey, what kind of clock is that ?" intrusion. I offer the latest stroller Mom incident. I'm sitting on a park bench in Van Vorst park here in JC, petting my dog in a way which removes the shedding hair from her back. So I'm grooming for a few minutes when I notice the toes of a pair of womens shoes pointing at me. I dont look up but I notice them still there a few minutes later. When I finally do look up I see some 30 somthing Mom is pointing her baby in a sling at me so's they can both drink in the sight of man with doggie. I can't think of any other senerio which would allow someone to stand and
stare point blank at a stranger and gawk. And I dont find that excuse acceptable either Keep walking Mom. Bah.
Good Morning Sinners
Scratchy vanity 45s, pilfered field recordings, muddy off-the-radio sounds, homemade
congregational tapes and vintage commercial gospel throw-downs; a little preachin' and a little
salvation.
"Hypocrisy is better than no standards at all."
This mornings hard copy nyt had a picture of stacked shipping containers, 3 high for as far as the eye could see, lining a street to block stone throwers stones.
"Modern mechanical tattooing was invented in New York City at the end of the 19th century. In his shop in Chatham Square on the Bowery, Samuel O'Reilly modified Thomas Edison's "Electric Engraving Pen" and created the first device which could mechanically enscribe a tattoo into the skin. The speed and accuracy of the new technology revolutionized the artform and introduced it to the possibilities of the modern age. Surrounded by the modern urban setting of New York, early tattooing borrowed its imagery from various popular culture sources as it expanded and became more sophisticated."
Reminiscences of New York by an Octogenarian (1816 - 1860)