The Small Laws
I was coming out of the post office to get back in my illegally parked vehicle on a cold and rainy day and to my right coming out of the cafe was a steely-eyed highway patrolman with a rain condom on his hat and there was no getting around any of it. I was committed to the movements set forth when I parked illegally in the first place so I got in the Jeep and made another illegal maneuver, backing into the only 4-way intersection in a town with a population similar to a half-occupied Motel 8 but which is a county seat and therefore exists happily or not with a preponderance of troopers. I just try to blend in. I don't enjoy being noticed. I am feeling many of the emotions associated with embarrassment and social awkwardness as I back slowly enough to appear a doddering fool. No threat to anyone. Not worth your effort on a rainy day, sir. I was hoping he would just mosey on but he's taking so much damn time to cross the street, and not at the proper crosswalk, either. Of course that could be because I am jamming the whole intersection with my slow moving Jeep. I'm facing forward now, ready to propel through the intersection and drive back at 25 miles per hour the 5 blocks to Mt. Pleasant, where I don't bother nobody and I ask please not to be bothered. But he's just standing there so I pause and he waves me forward but I'm not sure about that so I wave him forward but he won't move so I inch forward at the same time he does. This is really awkward. To show my appreciation for the awkwardness of the moment I let out an embarrassed smile that unfortunately to my way of thinking comes out as a shit-eating grin. A toothy unabashed in your face--hah/stupid idiot. I feel inhabited by another, even more awkward soul than myself. In the end I don't even remember which one of us went first. All I know is you can't be too careful. Small laws are good laws. Have a nice day.
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