- jimlouis 3-31-2007 10:45 pm [link]
...more recent posts
Crash Goes The Breaking Glass
Was I excited about getting a colorful new Rappahannock county tag for the Jeep windshield? You bet I was. With the Badgers long knocked out the NCAA tournament, what else did I have to be excited about? Naw really, I was over the Badger thing. Only to have the Longhorns knocked out, then the Aggies. I'm going to root for the Hoyas this evening, which clearly, may not be to their advantage. Go Tarheels.
I scraped off last year's tag, a woefully sad looking misprint of a county sticker, and applied the cheerful multi-colored 07 logo, carefully lining it up just so with the complimentary-colored inspection sticker to its left. If I would just wash the Jeep, still slimed over with white filmy road gunk from the recent but not that recent 8 hour drive through highway hell froze over, I would have a vehicle envied by many. Especially that great majority driving around with bland state required stickers.
I was on my way to the dump. As you may or may not know, as spring approaches and the temperatures rise, you cannot use your garage as a refrigerated way station for storing garbage for weeks at a time. You have to get rid of that garbage, take it on down the road. Which is a bummer sometimes but look on the bright side regarding the spring thaw. Those paint brushes you forgot to clean in early winter, left in buckets of water which froze solid for two months? You can now clean those up and get some use from them.
So, like a soccer mom with a Jeep full of smelly kids, off I went to the dump, proudly displaying my new sticker, which is also required for legal dumping. I have been corrected for improper dumping protocol on more than one occasion. I am not a rebel. I try not to defy authority. I do not like to make mistakes and then have them pointed out to me like I'm some mis-fitted, ill-bred, smelly offspring of a negligent soccer mom. That there is what I call a little metaphor inversion. Given the choice between being a soccer mom or a smelly bag of trash, I choose not to choose. I can be both.
That guy at the dump is just doing his job. I am not faulting him for that. Still, he makes me nervous. You think I don't go to the dump as often as I should because I'm lazy? Ok, fair enough. But also the reason I don't go is because I'm intimidated. What else can I do wrong at the dump that I haven't yet done wrong? If that guy is on duty he's going to find something. Here's an example of what goes through my mind. Besides the trash, I am loading up recyclables--a few beer, wine and liquor bottles, about forty or fifty pounds worth, all neatly sorted by color, and I'm worried is this guy gonna think I'm a booze hound. I work through that by describing myself to myself, and the situation, in such a way that I come out not looking like a complete drunken loser. Sounds good to me, and I am feeling strong and confident and full of hope. The stack of newspapers has amongst it several plastic wrapped sections from the Sunday papers. Should plastic really go into the big rail car dedicated to newsprint? Should I unwrap these sections? Is the guy going to see me throwing this questionable contraband into the rail car? My armpits itch and I get flush in the face just thinking about it.
I don't want you think I spend all day thinking about this stuff, no, no, no, just part of it. I'm at the dump now, slinging the little thirteen gallon white with red drawstring trash bags into the sectioned off pits like I'm some kind of jazzy big city garbage man with style coming out my ears instead of what I actually have which is just those little bristly hairs, and I am doing nothing wrong, but still feel like I'm being watched. And this is because I am being watched. The guy is over there in his booth with the tinted windows, but he can't touch me because I'm golden. I am the master of trash hauling protocol, except for that plastic around some of the newsprint, and, did I remember to take off the caps from my liquor bottles? I think I did. I think I did take the caps, and that one cork, from my liquor bottles.
Oh shit, here he comes. He's making an inspection run. I feel myself straightening my posture, sticking out my chest, sucking in the gut. Sir, yes sir. He can't touch me, I already told you this, I'm golden. I move over to the bottle dumpsters and risk herniating a disc by lifting the large plastic totes of bottles over my head and dumping them, crash, crash goes the breaking glass.
On the way home the stench of spilt beer residue in the bottom of the totes makes me think of spring.
Was I excited about getting a colorful new Rappahannock county tag for the Jeep windshield? You bet I was. With the Badgers long knocked out the NCAA tournament, what else did I have to be excited about? Naw really, I was over the Badger thing. Only to have the Longhorns knocked out, then the Aggies. I'm going to root for the Hoyas this evening, which clearly, may not be to their advantage. Go Tarheels.
I scraped off last year's tag, a woefully sad looking misprint of a county sticker, and applied the cheerful multi-colored 07 logo, carefully lining it up just so with the complimentary-colored inspection sticker to its left. If I would just wash the Jeep, still slimed over with white filmy road gunk from the recent but not that recent 8 hour drive through highway hell froze over, I would have a vehicle envied by many. Especially that great majority driving around with bland state required stickers.
I was on my way to the dump. As you may or may not know, as spring approaches and the temperatures rise, you cannot use your garage as a refrigerated way station for storing garbage for weeks at a time. You have to get rid of that garbage, take it on down the road. Which is a bummer sometimes but look on the bright side regarding the spring thaw. Those paint brushes you forgot to clean in early winter, left in buckets of water which froze solid for two months? You can now clean those up and get some use from them.
So, like a soccer mom with a Jeep full of smelly kids, off I went to the dump, proudly displaying my new sticker, which is also required for legal dumping. I have been corrected for improper dumping protocol on more than one occasion. I am not a rebel. I try not to defy authority. I do not like to make mistakes and then have them pointed out to me like I'm some mis-fitted, ill-bred, smelly offspring of a negligent soccer mom. That there is what I call a little metaphor inversion. Given the choice between being a soccer mom or a smelly bag of trash, I choose not to choose. I can be both.
That guy at the dump is just doing his job. I am not faulting him for that. Still, he makes me nervous. You think I don't go to the dump as often as I should because I'm lazy? Ok, fair enough. But also the reason I don't go is because I'm intimidated. What else can I do wrong at the dump that I haven't yet done wrong? If that guy is on duty he's going to find something. Here's an example of what goes through my mind. Besides the trash, I am loading up recyclables--a few beer, wine and liquor bottles, about forty or fifty pounds worth, all neatly sorted by color, and I'm worried is this guy gonna think I'm a booze hound. I work through that by describing myself to myself, and the situation, in such a way that I come out not looking like a complete drunken loser. Sounds good to me, and I am feeling strong and confident and full of hope. The stack of newspapers has amongst it several plastic wrapped sections from the Sunday papers. Should plastic really go into the big rail car dedicated to newsprint? Should I unwrap these sections? Is the guy going to see me throwing this questionable contraband into the rail car? My armpits itch and I get flush in the face just thinking about it.
I don't want you think I spend all day thinking about this stuff, no, no, no, just part of it. I'm at the dump now, slinging the little thirteen gallon white with red drawstring trash bags into the sectioned off pits like I'm some kind of jazzy big city garbage man with style coming out my ears instead of what I actually have which is just those little bristly hairs, and I am doing nothing wrong, but still feel like I'm being watched. And this is because I am being watched. The guy is over there in his booth with the tinted windows, but he can't touch me because I'm golden. I am the master of trash hauling protocol, except for that plastic around some of the newsprint, and, did I remember to take off the caps from my liquor bottles? I think I did. I think I did take the caps, and that one cork, from my liquor bottles.
Oh shit, here he comes. He's making an inspection run. I feel myself straightening my posture, sticking out my chest, sucking in the gut. Sir, yes sir. He can't touch me, I already told you this, I'm golden. I move over to the bottle dumpsters and risk herniating a disc by lifting the large plastic totes of bottles over my head and dumping them, crash, crash goes the breaking glass.
On the way home the stench of spilt beer residue in the bottom of the totes makes me think of spring.
The Reticent Caretaker
In this rural area in which I reside are slackers (ask me how I know this?), and farmers and ranchers and artists of various stripe and retired newsmen and politicians, a magazine publisher, members of the working class, visiting statesmen and presidents, and felons (and by mentioning felons here I intend no conjunctional reference to statesmen and presidents) and there are tourists who come to hike the Shenandoah trails or eat at the one famous restaurant. In the fall they spend hours stuck in traffic to come out here and look at leaves.
I live on a somewhat exclusive property amidst all this, as caretaker, and perform various chores, when I am not neglecting them by doing this. The chore I am neglecting now is the removal of the kitchen wallpaper in the caretaker's cottage and repainting of the walls, which, we might assume, is not of terribly high priority to the owners, Mr. and Mrs. BC, who when they visit out here, reside in the bighouse, up the hill, and have no doubt various chores they would be pleased to have me perform up there. Have I run out of chores at the bighouse you wonder? Oh, I daresay not.
I don't get out much or talk a lot, except when Bernadette visits. I was up visiting her in NY last week and then I drove her down here in an ice storm. It was insane. Don't ever do it. You are a moron if you do. To the dozen or more people who skated off the highway into ditches I am sure my advice will seem redundant. This morning Bernadette and I talked about a very important case before the Supreme Court--the right to make 14 foot banners in Alaska that say, Bong Hits 4 Jesus.
On those rare occasions when I do get out I might sometimes fall victim to that motor mouth syndrome that reticent people are known to suffer. Babbling on and on and on to someone as if I were a person who really liked to talk and actually believed myself to be quite good at it.
I had to leave the property recently for a six pack of beer. I could have walked to the store but I drove. I even drive from here to the bighouse on most occasions. I like to drive. Getting in and getting out of the vehicle are my favorite parts, which makes the 300 yard drive to the bighouse a natural choice for me.
At the store the cashier greets me warmly, as is befitting the cashier of a small country convenience store. I do not get greeted warmly at the store up on the highway. I am just another person off the highway. The cashier is talking to two local farmer gentlemen about snake handlers in the Pentecostal church. This snake handling thing is an unfortunate association for the Pentecostals. I used to pretend or actually feel an adversarial relationship with the Pentecostal church in New Orleans, near my home there. They were not, to my knowledge, snake handlers. Over time though I put aside my petty differences with the church and even came to feel a meager kinship with my Pentecostal brothers as I watched them rebuild their church, sometimes running the generators 24 hours a day, after Katrina.
Routinely, there is not the drama or stimulating subject matter going on out here in rural Virginia that I may have experienced in New Orleans. So this chance to talk to the friendly cashier and the two farmers about religion and snakes got my juices flowing and I thought about a way to insert myself into the conversation, experiencing that rush of excitement that often proceeds the onset of motor mouth syndrome. As I worked this out inside my head the cashier said to one of the farmers, somewhat defensively, that the church she had gone to definitely did not handle snakes, and I was happy for my reticence.
In this rural area in which I reside are slackers (ask me how I know this?), and farmers and ranchers and artists of various stripe and retired newsmen and politicians, a magazine publisher, members of the working class, visiting statesmen and presidents, and felons (and by mentioning felons here I intend no conjunctional reference to statesmen and presidents) and there are tourists who come to hike the Shenandoah trails or eat at the one famous restaurant. In the fall they spend hours stuck in traffic to come out here and look at leaves.
I live on a somewhat exclusive property amidst all this, as caretaker, and perform various chores, when I am not neglecting them by doing this. The chore I am neglecting now is the removal of the kitchen wallpaper in the caretaker's cottage and repainting of the walls, which, we might assume, is not of terribly high priority to the owners, Mr. and Mrs. BC, who when they visit out here, reside in the bighouse, up the hill, and have no doubt various chores they would be pleased to have me perform up there. Have I run out of chores at the bighouse you wonder? Oh, I daresay not.
I don't get out much or talk a lot, except when Bernadette visits. I was up visiting her in NY last week and then I drove her down here in an ice storm. It was insane. Don't ever do it. You are a moron if you do. To the dozen or more people who skated off the highway into ditches I am sure my advice will seem redundant. This morning Bernadette and I talked about a very important case before the Supreme Court--the right to make 14 foot banners in Alaska that say, Bong Hits 4 Jesus.
On those rare occasions when I do get out I might sometimes fall victim to that motor mouth syndrome that reticent people are known to suffer. Babbling on and on and on to someone as if I were a person who really liked to talk and actually believed myself to be quite good at it.
I had to leave the property recently for a six pack of beer. I could have walked to the store but I drove. I even drive from here to the bighouse on most occasions. I like to drive. Getting in and getting out of the vehicle are my favorite parts, which makes the 300 yard drive to the bighouse a natural choice for me.
At the store the cashier greets me warmly, as is befitting the cashier of a small country convenience store. I do not get greeted warmly at the store up on the highway. I am just another person off the highway. The cashier is talking to two local farmer gentlemen about snake handlers in the Pentecostal church. This snake handling thing is an unfortunate association for the Pentecostals. I used to pretend or actually feel an adversarial relationship with the Pentecostal church in New Orleans, near my home there. They were not, to my knowledge, snake handlers. Over time though I put aside my petty differences with the church and even came to feel a meager kinship with my Pentecostal brothers as I watched them rebuild their church, sometimes running the generators 24 hours a day, after Katrina.
Routinely, there is not the drama or stimulating subject matter going on out here in rural Virginia that I may have experienced in New Orleans. So this chance to talk to the friendly cashier and the two farmers about religion and snakes got my juices flowing and I thought about a way to insert myself into the conversation, experiencing that rush of excitement that often proceeds the onset of motor mouth syndrome. As I worked this out inside my head the cashier said to one of the farmers, somewhat defensively, that the church she had gone to definitely did not handle snakes, and I was happy for my reticence.
A Man On Rivington
In NYC today a man, in passing, of arguably deranged comportment, offered to me on the sidewalk along Rivington St. a complete history of the Devil. It was a glossy hardback of a size you might associate with one of those books from the Time/Life series and seemed to lack the girth to contain the complete history of any subject, much less that of the Devil. The man was a moving display containing only the one volume and we passed each other before I really had the time to consider the benefit or risk of engaging him. Still, I found myself thinking how nice of this man to sacrifice, even for profit, something that I can only guess was of great value to him. He held the book lovingly, his fingernails packed with black sludge, but for my part I could only give to him a heartfelt, although even to me seemingly insincere, thanks, before moving on to my destination, which was nearby.
In NYC today a man, in passing, of arguably deranged comportment, offered to me on the sidewalk along Rivington St. a complete history of the Devil. It was a glossy hardback of a size you might associate with one of those books from the Time/Life series and seemed to lack the girth to contain the complete history of any subject, much less that of the Devil. The man was a moving display containing only the one volume and we passed each other before I really had the time to consider the benefit or risk of engaging him. Still, I found myself thinking how nice of this man to sacrifice, even for profit, something that I can only guess was of great value to him. He held the book lovingly, his fingernails packed with black sludge, but for my part I could only give to him a heartfelt, although even to me seemingly insincere, thanks, before moving on to my destination, which was nearby.
Caulking In NY
Crush In The Ghetto, Part II
I received another email from New Orleans today.
you remember dolores had a son who died [Stabbed, I think] a long time ago, wimpy? his son, glynn (24) was shot on broad and esplanade at 2pm on saturday. we’re not sure why yet. 6 people shot over the weekend. 3 dead, 3 unknown. the cops have now parked one of their mobile home thingies at the corner by the store. clearly, we need babysitting.
m's come back to xxxx to live; his trailer became overrun with drug dealers. j’s into some urban league GED program that, hopefully, will remain in existence for more than 5 minutes. d’s working as a car salesman at a xxxx place in xxxx. we’re showing the film at Harvard in April, and i’m sending the 3 of them up there to talk after the film.
I received another email from New Orleans today.
you remember dolores had a son who died [Stabbed, I think] a long time ago, wimpy? his son, glynn (24) was shot on broad and esplanade at 2pm on saturday. we’re not sure why yet. 6 people shot over the weekend. 3 dead, 3 unknown. the cops have now parked one of their mobile home thingies at the corner by the store. clearly, we need babysitting.
m's come back to xxxx to live; his trailer became overrun with drug dealers. j’s into some urban league GED program that, hopefully, will remain in existence for more than 5 minutes. d’s working as a car salesman at a xxxx place in xxxx. we’re showing the film at Harvard in April, and i’m sending the 3 of them up there to talk after the film.
Crush In The Ghetto
I got a email from New Orleans yesterday. After the email is a brief news sampling of New Orleans violent crime stories over the previous three years. These were average or below average years, and represent only one aspect of the disadvantages that New Orleans children grow up with.
marquin got shot in the hands about 2 weeks ago, got him antibiotics, he didn't take them, hands got infected. i hauled him back to children's hospital, and they haven't let him out yet. shawn (don't know if you remember him) took 13 bullets on the corner of dorgenois and st. anne last week. he's on life support. jamal [shot in January] is out and limping around.
Monday, July 05, 2004
--Metairie teen is slain in Iberville complex
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
--Teen was changing his life, mom says
Brandon Kirby seemed to be making a comeback, after falling into drug abuse and leaving school. The 18-year-old Metairie resident had completed drug rehabilitation, earned his general equivalency diploma and found a girlfriend, and he was looking for a job.
--Three men are killed in separate shootings
Friday, July 9, 2004
--Street in eastern N.O. is jolted by killings of 3 men in 2 days
Saturday, July 10, 2004
--Hollygrove victim is identified
A New Orleans man fatally shot in the Hollygrove neighborhood Thursday night has been identified, the Orleans Parish coroner's office said.
--Two men are fatally shot, third in serious condition
Two men were shot fatally in New Orleans on Friday, and another was injured in a shooting at a Broadmoor barbershop as his 2-year-old son was getting a haircut.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
--Injured officer's life slips away
Monday, July 12, 2004
--Woman is found shot dead
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
--N.O. man killed in 9th Ward sports bar
Gunman walked in, shot him in the head
--Monday, November 15, 2004
3 slain Sunday in N.O. boost total to 6
Bloody weekend began on Friday
Thursday, November 11, 2004
--4 people are killed in stabbings, arson
Police say suspect confesses; he, girlfriend had argued
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
--Shooting, stalking, shooting again, gunman kills 9th Ward motorist
Sunday, December 05, 2004
--23-year-old shot, killed in Algiers
A 23-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Saturday about 5 p.m. in the Cut Off area of Algiers, police say.
--Man shot in neck on Fourth Street
--Shooting spoils a Classic weekend
Three people, including a 15-year-old New Orleans girl, were wounded ...
Saturday, December 11, 2004
--Gunmen in van rake street with bullets
1 dead, 2 wounded in drive-by shooting
Sunday, February 06, 2005
--8 people killed within 24 hours
Six victims found in N.O., two in Jeff
Sunday, March 13, 2005
--Man killed in home robbery.
--Two killed in shootings
Friday, March 11, 2005
--N.O. man killed inside Canal bar
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
--Mother says son was killed due to dispute over jacket
An Avondale mother said goodbye to her dying son Monday before he entered surgery to remove his organs for donation, as police continued to search for the Kenner man accused of shooting him in the head.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
--2 killed, 1 hurt in shootings
Monday, March 21, 2005
--Gunshot victim dies on stoop
A man on his way to church was shot and killed in the doorway of his grandmother's home Sunday, police and witnesses said.
Thursday, March 25, 2005
--Teen, 15, convicted of killing fest-goer
A 15-year- old was convicted Wednesday of killing a Jazzfest fan leaving the Fair Grounds last spring and will be incarcerated in an adult prison until he is 31, under mandatory sentencing rules
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
--N.O. man killed in 9th Ward
--Killing suspect facing trial as adult
An Algiers youth, accused of killing a Marrero teen during a fight over money last month, will be tried as an adult and faces life in prison if convicted, a Jefferson Parish prosecutor said.
--Acquitted killer gets time after all
A Metairie teenager who eluded a life sentence when a jury acquitted her of murder two years ago has been sent to prison for 10 years because she violated conditions of her probation on a narcotics conviction, a prosecutor said Tuesday.
Thursday, April 7, 2005
--Student is shot near N.O. school
Friday, April 8, 2005
--2 men shot dead 15 minutes apart
Less than a day after a student was shot outside a New Orleans school, two men were shot dead on Mid-City streets Thursday morning within blocks of two other schools, prompting a lockdown at one school and heightening security at the other.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
--Man is shot to death in West Carrollton
A man was shot dead Tuesday afternoon in the West Carrollton neighborhood, the third person killed in New Orleans in a 24-hour period.
--Rocker is absent for holdup trial
British rock-and-roll star Ray Davies, longtime lead singer of The Kinks, did not return to New Orleans on Wednesday to testify against the man who allegedly drove the getaway car for a gunman who robbed Davies' girlfriend and shot the singer in the leg.
Friday, May 20, 2005
--Shootings leave 5 dead in 26 hours
In life, they were second cousins who never knew each other. On Wednesday, they became linked in another way: Both were gunned down, two of five New Orleans murder victims in a 26-hour surge of shootings.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
--Intruder cut Mid-City woman, police say
Police are asking for help in identifying a man who entered a woman's Mid-City residence Wednesday and cut her face with a knife while demanding money.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
--Man killed, another hurt in Central City shooting
Monday, May 23, 2005
--N.O. pair wounded in Bywater shooting
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
--Block party turns violent
A 9th Ward block party in memory of a man gunned down by police last year erupted into violence Sunday, with one woman stabbed in the face and 11 people arrested, police said.
Friday, June 3, 2005
--New Orleans teen fatally shot
A 17-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Thursday night...
Saturday, June 4, 2005
--Man is slain in Algiers home
An 88-year-old retired Navy pilot was bludgeoned to death...
Sunday, June 5, 2005
--DEADLY FORCE
The fatal shooting of 16-year-old Antoine Colbert by Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputies last week was unusual because deputies fired more than 100 bullets at Colbert and two other teens who, though they had no guns, nearly ran over officers during a wild chase in a stolen truck.
Monday, June 6, 2005
--N.O. man dies in Uptown shooting
A 30-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Sunday morning and a 22-year-old woman was wounded in what police are calling an Uptown drug deal that turned violent.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
--Man tells local deputies he was shot while in N.O.
A wounded man showed up in St. Bernard Parish on Saturday night saying he had been shot in New Orleans, the St. Bernard Parish Sheriff's Office said.
--Gunmen wound 2 in Abita Springs shooting
--Gentilly man killed in home invasion
--Bank teller shot in stickup at Gretna area bank
Saturday, June 11, 2005
--8 people shot at 3 sites, 2 fatally
Tuesday, July 12,2005
--Two New Orleans men are killed in shootings
--Man killed during speeding dispute
As his 5-year-old daughter rode her Barbie jeep nearby, a LaPlace man joining his neighbors for a "prehurricane party" on their front lawns Saturday night was shot in the head after an altercation stemming from a complaint of a car speeding past the gathering.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
--Man found fatally shot in N.O.
--Harvey man killed in his driveway
--Gunman bursts into store on Magazine, kills grocer
Saturday, July 16, 2005
--Former murder suspect is killed
Sunday, July 17, 2005
--Two found shot dead in Gentilly residence
--2 women killed by suicide gunmen
Monday, July 18, 2005
--7 in N.O. wounded in drive-by shooting
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
--Harvey man, 19, shot dead in car
--Boy, 12, testifies in murder trial
.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
--Man dies in Pigeon Town shooting
--17-year-old identified in fatal shooting
Monday, August 1, 2005
--Man found shot dead in car that hit utility pole.
--N.O. man, 28, shot dead on his birthday
As Brian Craig Jr.'s body lay chest up and arms spread wide on North Prieur Street near Orleans Avenue on Sunday morning, his mother's tears and anguish flooded her eyes and throat as she begged the city's killers to put down their guns.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
--Six men killed over bloody span of 3 days
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
--2 killed, 2 injured in series of shootings
Two men were killed in unrelated shootings Tuesday and a third man, critically wounded, burst into a 7th Ward church as he fled from a gunman, authorities said.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
--Three men killed in seven hours
Three men were killed late Sunday night and early Monday morning, raising this year's murder tally to 177, police said. ...was "pretty badly hit" by bullets from the AK-47,
Thursday, August 11, 2005
--Child, 7, mother gunned down at home
A 7-year-old girl and her mother were killed Wednesday after police said at least one gunman entered their Hollygrove home and shot them both in the head.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
--N.O. teen dies in Algiers shooting
A teenager died Thursday after being shot in Algiers, the Orleans Parish coroner's office said.
--N.O. man shot dead on city street
A man was shot and killed Friday about 1 a.m. in Central City, police said.
--Killers are killed, Orleans police say
For the second time in a week, the New Orleans Police Department has closed a murder case by saying that the suspects became murder victims themselves.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
--Teen shot, killed; 3-year-old hurt
Saturday, July 29, 2006
--4 found shot dead on street in Treme
Friday, July 28, 2006
--N.O. man slain while changing tire
A 21-year-old New Orleans man was shot to death...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
--2 held in killing of N.O. barber
--Woman found dead of gunshot
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
--Police seek identity of man shot to death on street
Monday, July 24, 2006
--Man, 40, is found shot dead in N.O.
New Orleans police are investigating the shooting death of 40-year-old man whose body was found at his eastern New Orleans home Sunday.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
--Teen wanted in crime spree arrested
New Orleans police early Saturday arrested a 17-year-old wanted on six counts of attempted
murder and a string of other crimes.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
--New Orleans logs 5 murders in 14 hours...Update---Six New Orleanians killed in less than a day, 12 slain during the last week (1/4/07)
Sunday, March 11, 2007
--Three killed in five shootings across the city
Midday attack closes busy N.O. intersection.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
--Bullets strike man, girl in Central City
A 21-year-old man and an 11-year-old girl
standing in a crowded Central City
street were shot Tuesday night, police said.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
--N.O. teen dies in drive-by shooting
Someone opened fire at Mid-City stoplight
A New Orleans teenager was killed during a drive-by
shooting early Saturday that left three
other people wounded, New Orleans police said.
Larry Ramee III, 16, died at North Broad Street
and Orleans Avenue from gunshot wounds,
chief coroner's investigator John Gagliano said.
Monday, March 26, 2007
--1 killed by gunfire in Central City home
Man also shot dead in 7th Ward attack
The city's 2007 murder count rose by three on Sunday,
the result of two homicides and the death of a man
who had suffered multiple gunshot wounds
a month ago. Earlier Sunday morning, another shooting
left a man and a baby wounded in Gentilly.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
--Man killed in Algiers shooting
A 32-year-old Algiers man was killed at his home
Wednesday afternoon and New Orleans police were questioning
a man they believe might have been involved.
--Man found shot to death in eastern New Orleans
A 31-year-old New Orleans man was fatally shot late
Tuesday night in eastern New Orleans, police said.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
--Man gunned down in Gentilly
A 21-year-old New Orleans man was gunned down
overnight in the 6000 block of Chef Menteur Highway,
police said. Seventh District officers found the unidentified
man riddled with bullets, including one to the head...
--Cops say violent crime fell 22%
Doubters question validity of comparison
The New Orleans Police Department on Friday released
its 2006 crime statistics that a spokesman said show a
reduction in crime over the previous year.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
--Gunshot victim found in trailer on Touro Street
In the third slaying of the weekend, a 20-year-old New Orleans
man was fatally shot in a FEMA trailer early Sunday in the
3400 block of Touro Street in Gentilly
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
--Monday's 4 killings set a record pace
Four men were killed in separate shootings
Each victim was shot in the head from point-blank range
Seven homicides since Friday evening.
Friday, April 6, 2007
--Man found murdered in Marrero
8100 block of Barataria Boulevard.
He had a single gunshot wound to the back of the head.
--Not the first shooting for I-10 victim
A New Mexico plumber who was shot and wounded last
month was found dead of a gunshot this morning in a vehicle
on Interstate 10 in Kenner.
--Man shot to death in Algiers
New Orleans Police are investigating the shooting
death of a 40-year-old man this morning in Algiers.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
--Woman slain near Southern campus;
two men killed on Saturday
She was the third murder victim in
New Orleans this weekend.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
--N.O. man killed; suspect arrested
Victim was musician, son of Deacon John
Sunday, April 15, 2007
--5 wounded in shower of bullets
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
--Teen dies in Bayou Road shooting
A 16-year-old boy, whose brother and three cousins have died
from violence in New Orleans over the past seven years, was
shot to death Tuesday night on Bayou Road near
Esplanade Ridge
I got a email from New Orleans yesterday. After the email is a brief news sampling of New Orleans violent crime stories over the previous three years. These were average or below average years, and represent only one aspect of the disadvantages that New Orleans children grow up with.
marquin got shot in the hands about 2 weeks ago, got him antibiotics, he didn't take them, hands got infected. i hauled him back to children's hospital, and they haven't let him out yet. shawn (don't know if you remember him) took 13 bullets on the corner of dorgenois and st. anne last week. he's on life support. jamal [shot in January] is out and limping around.
Monday, July 05, 2004
--Metairie teen is slain in Iberville complex
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
--Teen was changing his life, mom says
Brandon Kirby seemed to be making a comeback, after falling into drug abuse and leaving school. The 18-year-old Metairie resident had completed drug rehabilitation, earned his general equivalency diploma and found a girlfriend, and he was looking for a job.
--Three men are killed in separate shootings
Friday, July 9, 2004
--Street in eastern N.O. is jolted by killings of 3 men in 2 days
Saturday, July 10, 2004
--Hollygrove victim is identified
A New Orleans man fatally shot in the Hollygrove neighborhood Thursday night has been identified, the Orleans Parish coroner's office said.
--Two men are fatally shot, third in serious condition
Two men were shot fatally in New Orleans on Friday, and another was injured in a shooting at a Broadmoor barbershop as his 2-year-old son was getting a haircut.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
--Injured officer's life slips away
Monday, July 12, 2004
--Woman is found shot dead
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
--N.O. man killed in 9th Ward sports bar
Gunman walked in, shot him in the head
--Monday, November 15, 2004
3 slain Sunday in N.O. boost total to 6
Bloody weekend began on Friday
Thursday, November 11, 2004
--4 people are killed in stabbings, arson
Police say suspect confesses; he, girlfriend had argued
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
--Shooting, stalking, shooting again, gunman kills 9th Ward motorist
Sunday, December 05, 2004
--23-year-old shot, killed in Algiers
A 23-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Saturday about 5 p.m. in the Cut Off area of Algiers, police say.
--Man shot in neck on Fourth Street
--Shooting spoils a Classic weekend
Three people, including a 15-year-old New Orleans girl, were wounded ...
Saturday, December 11, 2004
--Gunmen in van rake street with bullets
1 dead, 2 wounded in drive-by shooting
Sunday, February 06, 2005
--8 people killed within 24 hours
Six victims found in N.O., two in Jeff
Sunday, March 13, 2005
--Man killed in home robbery.
--Two killed in shootings
Friday, March 11, 2005
--N.O. man killed inside Canal bar
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
--Mother says son was killed due to dispute over jacket
An Avondale mother said goodbye to her dying son Monday before he entered surgery to remove his organs for donation, as police continued to search for the Kenner man accused of shooting him in the head.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
--2 killed, 1 hurt in shootings
Monday, March 21, 2005
--Gunshot victim dies on stoop
A man on his way to church was shot and killed in the doorway of his grandmother's home Sunday, police and witnesses said.
Thursday, March 25, 2005
--Teen, 15, convicted of killing fest-goer
A 15-year- old was convicted Wednesday of killing a Jazzfest fan leaving the Fair Grounds last spring and will be incarcerated in an adult prison until he is 31, under mandatory sentencing rules
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
--N.O. man killed in 9th Ward
--Killing suspect facing trial as adult
An Algiers youth, accused of killing a Marrero teen during a fight over money last month, will be tried as an adult and faces life in prison if convicted, a Jefferson Parish prosecutor said.
--Acquitted killer gets time after all
A Metairie teenager who eluded a life sentence when a jury acquitted her of murder two years ago has been sent to prison for 10 years because she violated conditions of her probation on a narcotics conviction, a prosecutor said Tuesday.
Thursday, April 7, 2005
--Student is shot near N.O. school
Friday, April 8, 2005
--2 men shot dead 15 minutes apart
Less than a day after a student was shot outside a New Orleans school, two men were shot dead on Mid-City streets Thursday morning within blocks of two other schools, prompting a lockdown at one school and heightening security at the other.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
--Man is shot to death in West Carrollton
A man was shot dead Tuesday afternoon in the West Carrollton neighborhood, the third person killed in New Orleans in a 24-hour period.
--Rocker is absent for holdup trial
British rock-and-roll star Ray Davies, longtime lead singer of The Kinks, did not return to New Orleans on Wednesday to testify against the man who allegedly drove the getaway car for a gunman who robbed Davies' girlfriend and shot the singer in the leg.
Friday, May 20, 2005
--Shootings leave 5 dead in 26 hours
In life, they were second cousins who never knew each other. On Wednesday, they became linked in another way: Both were gunned down, two of five New Orleans murder victims in a 26-hour surge of shootings.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
--Intruder cut Mid-City woman, police say
Police are asking for help in identifying a man who entered a woman's Mid-City residence Wednesday and cut her face with a knife while demanding money.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
--Man killed, another hurt in Central City shooting
Monday, May 23, 2005
--N.O. pair wounded in Bywater shooting
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
--Block party turns violent
A 9th Ward block party in memory of a man gunned down by police last year erupted into violence Sunday, with one woman stabbed in the face and 11 people arrested, police said.
Friday, June 3, 2005
--New Orleans teen fatally shot
A 17-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Thursday night...
Saturday, June 4, 2005
--Man is slain in Algiers home
An 88-year-old retired Navy pilot was bludgeoned to death...
Sunday, June 5, 2005
--DEADLY FORCE
The fatal shooting of 16-year-old Antoine Colbert by Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputies last week was unusual because deputies fired more than 100 bullets at Colbert and two other teens who, though they had no guns, nearly ran over officers during a wild chase in a stolen truck.
Monday, June 6, 2005
--N.O. man dies in Uptown shooting
A 30-year-old New Orleans man was shot dead Sunday morning and a 22-year-old woman was wounded in what police are calling an Uptown drug deal that turned violent.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
--Man tells local deputies he was shot while in N.O.
A wounded man showed up in St. Bernard Parish on Saturday night saying he had been shot in New Orleans, the St. Bernard Parish Sheriff's Office said.
--Gunmen wound 2 in Abita Springs shooting
--Gentilly man killed in home invasion
--Bank teller shot in stickup at Gretna area bank
Saturday, June 11, 2005
--8 people shot at 3 sites, 2 fatally
Tuesday, July 12,2005
--Two New Orleans men are killed in shootings
--Man killed during speeding dispute
As his 5-year-old daughter rode her Barbie jeep nearby, a LaPlace man joining his neighbors for a "prehurricane party" on their front lawns Saturday night was shot in the head after an altercation stemming from a complaint of a car speeding past the gathering.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
--Man found fatally shot in N.O.
--Harvey man killed in his driveway
--Gunman bursts into store on Magazine, kills grocer
Saturday, July 16, 2005
--Former murder suspect is killed
Sunday, July 17, 2005
--Two found shot dead in Gentilly residence
--2 women killed by suicide gunmen
Monday, July 18, 2005
--7 in N.O. wounded in drive-by shooting
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
--Harvey man, 19, shot dead in car
--Boy, 12, testifies in murder trial
.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
--Man dies in Pigeon Town shooting
--17-year-old identified in fatal shooting
Monday, August 1, 2005
--Man found shot dead in car that hit utility pole.
--N.O. man, 28, shot dead on his birthday
As Brian Craig Jr.'s body lay chest up and arms spread wide on North Prieur Street near Orleans Avenue on Sunday morning, his mother's tears and anguish flooded her eyes and throat as she begged the city's killers to put down their guns.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
--Six men killed over bloody span of 3 days
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
--2 killed, 2 injured in series of shootings
Two men were killed in unrelated shootings Tuesday and a third man, critically wounded, burst into a 7th Ward church as he fled from a gunman, authorities said.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
--Three men killed in seven hours
Three men were killed late Sunday night and early Monday morning, raising this year's murder tally to 177, police said. ...was "pretty badly hit" by bullets from the AK-47,
Thursday, August 11, 2005
--Child, 7, mother gunned down at home
A 7-year-old girl and her mother were killed Wednesday after police said at least one gunman entered their Hollygrove home and shot them both in the head.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
--N.O. teen dies in Algiers shooting
A teenager died Thursday after being shot in Algiers, the Orleans Parish coroner's office said.
--N.O. man shot dead on city street
A man was shot and killed Friday about 1 a.m. in Central City, police said.
--Killers are killed, Orleans police say
For the second time in a week, the New Orleans Police Department has closed a murder case by saying that the suspects became murder victims themselves.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
--Teen shot, killed; 3-year-old hurt
Saturday, July 29, 2006
--4 found shot dead on street in Treme
Friday, July 28, 2006
--N.O. man slain while changing tire
A 21-year-old New Orleans man was shot to death...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
--2 held in killing of N.O. barber
--Woman found dead of gunshot
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
--Police seek identity of man shot to death on street
Monday, July 24, 2006
--Man, 40, is found shot dead in N.O.
New Orleans police are investigating the shooting death of 40-year-old man whose body was found at his eastern New Orleans home Sunday.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
--Teen wanted in crime spree arrested
New Orleans police early Saturday arrested a 17-year-old wanted on six counts of attempted
murder and a string of other crimes.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
--New Orleans logs 5 murders in 14 hours...Update---Six New Orleanians killed in less than a day, 12 slain during the last week (1/4/07)
Sunday, March 11, 2007
--Three killed in five shootings across the city
Midday attack closes busy N.O. intersection.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
--Bullets strike man, girl in Central City
A 21-year-old man and an 11-year-old girl
standing in a crowded Central City
street were shot Tuesday night, police said.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
--N.O. teen dies in drive-by shooting
Someone opened fire at Mid-City stoplight
A New Orleans teenager was killed during a drive-by
shooting early Saturday that left three
other people wounded, New Orleans police said.
Larry Ramee III, 16, died at North Broad Street
and Orleans Avenue from gunshot wounds,
chief coroner's investigator John Gagliano said.
Monday, March 26, 2007
--1 killed by gunfire in Central City home
Man also shot dead in 7th Ward attack
The city's 2007 murder count rose by three on Sunday,
the result of two homicides and the death of a man
who had suffered multiple gunshot wounds
a month ago. Earlier Sunday morning, another shooting
left a man and a baby wounded in Gentilly.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
--Man killed in Algiers shooting
A 32-year-old Algiers man was killed at his home
Wednesday afternoon and New Orleans police were questioning
a man they believe might have been involved.
--Man found shot to death in eastern New Orleans
A 31-year-old New Orleans man was fatally shot late
Tuesday night in eastern New Orleans, police said.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
--Man gunned down in Gentilly
A 21-year-old New Orleans man was gunned down
overnight in the 6000 block of Chef Menteur Highway,
police said. Seventh District officers found the unidentified
man riddled with bullets, including one to the head...
--Cops say violent crime fell 22%
Doubters question validity of comparison
The New Orleans Police Department on Friday released
its 2006 crime statistics that a spokesman said show a
reduction in crime over the previous year.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
--Gunshot victim found in trailer on Touro Street
In the third slaying of the weekend, a 20-year-old New Orleans
man was fatally shot in a FEMA trailer early Sunday in the
3400 block of Touro Street in Gentilly
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
--Monday's 4 killings set a record pace
Four men were killed in separate shootings
Each victim was shot in the head from point-blank range
Seven homicides since Friday evening.
Friday, April 6, 2007
--Man found murdered in Marrero
8100 block of Barataria Boulevard.
He had a single gunshot wound to the back of the head.
--Not the first shooting for I-10 victim
A New Mexico plumber who was shot and wounded last
month was found dead of a gunshot this morning in a vehicle
on Interstate 10 in Kenner.
--Man shot to death in Algiers
New Orleans Police are investigating the shooting
death of a 40-year-old man this morning in Algiers.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
--Woman slain near Southern campus;
two men killed on Saturday
She was the third murder victim in
New Orleans this weekend.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
--N.O. man killed; suspect arrested
Victim was musician, son of Deacon John
Sunday, April 15, 2007
--5 wounded in shower of bullets
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
--Teen dies in Bayou Road shooting
A 16-year-old boy, whose brother and three cousins have died
from violence in New Orleans over the past seven years, was
shot to death Tuesday night on Bayou Road near
Esplanade Ridge
Mark Of The Brother
My niece from Austin, Texas called a couple of weeks ago and said to me--reading I suspect from a script written by her father--Uncle Jim, I am very disappointed in you. I thought, well good start kid, but get in line. She continued, you are the only one of the uncles or aunts who didn't buy girl scout cookies from me this year. Oh yeah, I had gotten that email, but who mail orders girl scout cookies? The answer is, at the very least, my four brothers and one sister, profligate, kid-loving propagators and thin mint junkies each and every one. Oh, I did not realize I could get girl scout cookies in the mail, I lied to my niece. Well you can, she said. My dad will mail them to you. But honey, your daddy cannot read and write, how will he address the box? He said you cannot read and write, my niece said to my brother, after which there was some mumbling in the background. My dad says you have the numbers 666 tattooed on top of your head. That's exactly what I mean sweetie, the numbers on top of my head are 999, your daddy cannot read, but maybe your mom could address the box and so I guess I could order some. I will email you my order. You will? Thank you Uncle Jim, I did not mean what I said earlier, my dad made me say it. That's ok, but you know what that reminds me of? No, what? When I was a kid there was a man on TV named Flip Wilson and he used to dress in women's clothing and say about anything bad that he did--the devil made me do it. Do you think maybe your daddy is the devil? No, I don't thinks so. Do you think he dresses in women's clothing? Well, sometimes he..., Oh no I'm sure it's better if you don't tell me whatever he sometimes does, that can be your little secret. Ok, Uncle Jim. Did you make your goal of selling 400 boxes this year? No, she said excitedly, I sold 547 boxes. Ho-ly cow, I said. Are you the best cookie seller in all of Austin, Texas? I am the best in my troop, she said. No doubt. She then gave me over to her dad and we expressed our deep felt love for each other, after which I hung up and found the original email, which listed the varieties of cookies this year, and ordered eight boxes.
My niece from Austin, Texas called a couple of weeks ago and said to me--reading I suspect from a script written by her father--Uncle Jim, I am very disappointed in you. I thought, well good start kid, but get in line. She continued, you are the only one of the uncles or aunts who didn't buy girl scout cookies from me this year. Oh yeah, I had gotten that email, but who mail orders girl scout cookies? The answer is, at the very least, my four brothers and one sister, profligate, kid-loving propagators and thin mint junkies each and every one. Oh, I did not realize I could get girl scout cookies in the mail, I lied to my niece. Well you can, she said. My dad will mail them to you. But honey, your daddy cannot read and write, how will he address the box? He said you cannot read and write, my niece said to my brother, after which there was some mumbling in the background. My dad says you have the numbers 666 tattooed on top of your head. That's exactly what I mean sweetie, the numbers on top of my head are 999, your daddy cannot read, but maybe your mom could address the box and so I guess I could order some. I will email you my order. You will? Thank you Uncle Jim, I did not mean what I said earlier, my dad made me say it. That's ok, but you know what that reminds me of? No, what? When I was a kid there was a man on TV named Flip Wilson and he used to dress in women's clothing and say about anything bad that he did--the devil made me do it. Do you think maybe your daddy is the devil? No, I don't thinks so. Do you think he dresses in women's clothing? Well, sometimes he..., Oh no I'm sure it's better if you don't tell me whatever he sometimes does, that can be your little secret. Ok, Uncle Jim. Did you make your goal of selling 400 boxes this year? No, she said excitedly, I sold 547 boxes. Ho-ly cow, I said. Are you the best cookie seller in all of Austin, Texas? I am the best in my troop, she said. No doubt. She then gave me over to her dad and we expressed our deep felt love for each other, after which I hung up and found the original email, which listed the varieties of cookies this year, and ordered eight boxes.
My Burnt Food Bistro
If I opened a restaurant it would be known for my specialty, the blackened cheese pizza. Four different cheeses blackened to the point of being indistinguishable from each other, with a soft under-cooked doughy bottom.
I told the waitress ladies at the diner that I was there for an emergency lunch because I had set my pizza on fire. I don't generally burden the waitress ladies with too much personal detail but I thought today was a good day to share with them a little bit of what it is to be me. To them it sounds humorous being me. But not to be inattentive to my needs or emotions regarding cooking and failure the one waitress suggested that maybe I had the oven on broil. I considered this while I looked through my mail and stared out the window at the other eatery in town, a genuine Mobil 5 star restaurant. I don't think I would want my restaurant rated by an oil company. I would have to come up with a more diverse menu to get any rating at all but I think I would pass on the Mobil rating. This is a very small town and I think I could do pretty well by word of mouth. My critics would try to demean me by saying, he only cooks frozen foods, but my supporters would come right back with, that's true, but he burns them expertly. My goal, in life really, is to be considered quite a little cook. That food I had for lunch is making me sleepy. I would not put barbiturates in my food. Or, I don't know, maybe I would. Drug laced foods might be popular with some people. Or maybe not drug-laced. Maybe straight food with drug sides. My burnt food bistro would only bring them in for so long. I would have to keep the public interested. I bet if I started serving drug sides it would create a buzz. It's only a pun if you allow it to be. What's he burning today some future customer might ask an imaginary friend, perhaps one dressed like a rabbit. Oh you know, the same old stuff but with some serious junk sides. Junk sides, what do you mean junk sides? I mean junk junk and some not true junk but nearly lethal just the same. I'm confused. I probably can't help you with that but I can try to spell it out. There is burnt spaghetti and meatballs with heroin on the side. There is his landmark burnt pizza with wilted garden salad and a side of codeine cough syrup. He's doing the almost redundant burnt toasted cheese sandwich with a 5 or 10 milligram valium side. For the go getters there is the burnt black steak and potatoes with a cup of cocaine side and my personal favorite the Chicken Cacciatore Conflagration with the sacred mushroom side. But...? Oh yes, he'll burn a pork butt on special order, however that doesn't come with any schedule ones.
I think the waitress was probably right. I bet I had the oven on broil.
If I opened a restaurant it would be known for my specialty, the blackened cheese pizza. Four different cheeses blackened to the point of being indistinguishable from each other, with a soft under-cooked doughy bottom.
I told the waitress ladies at the diner that I was there for an emergency lunch because I had set my pizza on fire. I don't generally burden the waitress ladies with too much personal detail but I thought today was a good day to share with them a little bit of what it is to be me. To them it sounds humorous being me. But not to be inattentive to my needs or emotions regarding cooking and failure the one waitress suggested that maybe I had the oven on broil. I considered this while I looked through my mail and stared out the window at the other eatery in town, a genuine Mobil 5 star restaurant. I don't think I would want my restaurant rated by an oil company. I would have to come up with a more diverse menu to get any rating at all but I think I would pass on the Mobil rating. This is a very small town and I think I could do pretty well by word of mouth. My critics would try to demean me by saying, he only cooks frozen foods, but my supporters would come right back with, that's true, but he burns them expertly. My goal, in life really, is to be considered quite a little cook. That food I had for lunch is making me sleepy. I would not put barbiturates in my food. Or, I don't know, maybe I would. Drug laced foods might be popular with some people. Or maybe not drug-laced. Maybe straight food with drug sides. My burnt food bistro would only bring them in for so long. I would have to keep the public interested. I bet if I started serving drug sides it would create a buzz. It's only a pun if you allow it to be. What's he burning today some future customer might ask an imaginary friend, perhaps one dressed like a rabbit. Oh you know, the same old stuff but with some serious junk sides. Junk sides, what do you mean junk sides? I mean junk junk and some not true junk but nearly lethal just the same. I'm confused. I probably can't help you with that but I can try to spell it out. There is burnt spaghetti and meatballs with heroin on the side. There is his landmark burnt pizza with wilted garden salad and a side of codeine cough syrup. He's doing the almost redundant burnt toasted cheese sandwich with a 5 or 10 milligram valium side. For the go getters there is the burnt black steak and potatoes with a cup of cocaine side and my personal favorite the Chicken Cacciatore Conflagration with the sacred mushroom side. But...? Oh yes, he'll burn a pork butt on special order, however that doesn't come with any schedule ones.
I think the waitress was probably right. I bet I had the oven on broil.
The Cream Colored Paisley Retort
A three-year-old girl wearing a pink-striped top was having dinner with her dad at the table just outside the periphery allowed by my stiff neck. She doesn't want to go back over to Mee-maw's anytime soon because some body or some thing over there scratched her eye today. And it hurt, she told her dad. I could feel it myself so clear and crisp and concise was her wording. And it was melodic too, how she sounded from where I sat. It was the only thing I could feel or imagine for 30 seconds, before my mind wandered to that place where I should just buy me a little bungalow, as much time as I spend there. The woman at the next table said to her friend that she could be upset about something that fit into no context an eavesdropper could appreciate but that there were more important things to be upset about and I had to for another 30 seconds consider what those things might be. The little girl was thinking about ice cream and ask her dad if she could have some. He said she could have some later and when later arrived he was true to his word and took her over to the counter and with his assistance she floated above the ice cream cooler and picked a flavor that I frankly never did see but it must have been pink because someone said to her while I masticated in a state of oblivion that her ice cream was the same color as her shirt. Oh and she did not want to hear that. She denied it vehemently. Perhaps this was the type of thing the other woman could have been talking about when she said she could be upset about it but there were more important things. Had someone earlier suggested the woman's blouse was the color of ice cream? Had I missed this? Have I been too wrapped up in the details of my own rather unremarkable life? The little girl is leaving now, following her dad. I'm shoveling as many soggy canned green beans as will fit into my silent, solitary trap, and she sees it on the fly, her chance to unload the burden of wearing an ice cream colored shirt. She's pausing in front of me, across the table, she's tall enough to pull this off, she's smiling at me, oh I hate this, she's going to make fun of me and then book out the door, she's got that look and I'm wondering how much interest is left on my karmic debt and will it ever be paid off?. Hey, she says, those beans are the color of your shirt. It is true what she said, the beans are exactly the color of this shirt, the green part anyhow, not the cream colored paisley swirly part. If I'd had more time I would have hit her with that, shown her a thing or two, kids need to learn life's lessons from grownups like myself, but you only ever come up with the really good retorts after the fact, in your mind. Oh yeah, you ice cream colored shirt wearing little girl, not the cream colored paisley swirly part, isn't, the color of green beans. Is not.
A three-year-old girl wearing a pink-striped top was having dinner with her dad at the table just outside the periphery allowed by my stiff neck. She doesn't want to go back over to Mee-maw's anytime soon because some body or some thing over there scratched her eye today. And it hurt, she told her dad. I could feel it myself so clear and crisp and concise was her wording. And it was melodic too, how she sounded from where I sat. It was the only thing I could feel or imagine for 30 seconds, before my mind wandered to that place where I should just buy me a little bungalow, as much time as I spend there. The woman at the next table said to her friend that she could be upset about something that fit into no context an eavesdropper could appreciate but that there were more important things to be upset about and I had to for another 30 seconds consider what those things might be. The little girl was thinking about ice cream and ask her dad if she could have some. He said she could have some later and when later arrived he was true to his word and took her over to the counter and with his assistance she floated above the ice cream cooler and picked a flavor that I frankly never did see but it must have been pink because someone said to her while I masticated in a state of oblivion that her ice cream was the same color as her shirt. Oh and she did not want to hear that. She denied it vehemently. Perhaps this was the type of thing the other woman could have been talking about when she said she could be upset about it but there were more important things. Had someone earlier suggested the woman's blouse was the color of ice cream? Had I missed this? Have I been too wrapped up in the details of my own rather unremarkable life? The little girl is leaving now, following her dad. I'm shoveling as many soggy canned green beans as will fit into my silent, solitary trap, and she sees it on the fly, her chance to unload the burden of wearing an ice cream colored shirt. She's pausing in front of me, across the table, she's tall enough to pull this off, she's smiling at me, oh I hate this, she's going to make fun of me and then book out the door, she's got that look and I'm wondering how much interest is left on my karmic debt and will it ever be paid off?. Hey, she says, those beans are the color of your shirt. It is true what she said, the beans are exactly the color of this shirt, the green part anyhow, not the cream colored paisley swirly part. If I'd had more time I would have hit her with that, shown her a thing or two, kids need to learn life's lessons from grownups like myself, but you only ever come up with the really good retorts after the fact, in your mind. Oh yeah, you ice cream colored shirt wearing little girl, not the cream colored paisley swirly part, isn't, the color of green beans. Is not.