Mark Of The Brother
My niece from Austin, Texas called a couple of weeks ago and said to me--reading I suspect from a script written by her father--Uncle Jim, I am very disappointed in you. I thought, well good start kid, but get in line. She continued, you are the only one of the uncles or aunts who didn't buy girl scout cookies from me this year. Oh yeah, I had gotten that email, but who mail orders girl scout cookies? The answer is, at the very least, my four brothers and one sister, profligate, kid-loving propagators and thin mint junkies each and every one. Oh, I did not realize I could get girl scout cookies in the mail, I lied to my niece. Well you can, she said. My dad will mail them to you. But honey, your daddy cannot read and write, how will he address the box? He said you cannot read and write, my niece said to my brother, after which there was some mumbling in the background. My dad says you have the numbers 666 tattooed on top of your head. That's exactly what I mean sweetie, the numbers on top of my head are 999, your daddy cannot read, but maybe your mom could address the box and so I guess I could order some. I will email you my order. You will? Thank you Uncle Jim, I did not mean what I said earlier, my dad made me say it. That's ok, but you know what that reminds me of? No, what? When I was a kid there was a man on TV named Flip Wilson and he used to dress in women's clothing and say about anything bad that he did--the devil made me do it. Do you think maybe your daddy is the devil? No, I don't thinks so. Do you think he dresses in women's clothing? Well, sometimes he..., Oh no I'm sure it's better if you don't tell me whatever he sometimes does, that can be your little secret. Ok, Uncle Jim. Did you make your goal of selling 400 boxes this year? No, she said excitedly, I sold 547 boxes. Ho-ly cow, I said. Are you the best cookie seller in all of Austin, Texas? I am the best in my troop, she said. No doubt. She then gave me over to her dad and we expressed our deep felt love for each other, after which I hung up and found the original email, which listed the varieties of cookies this year, and ordered eight boxes.
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