A Short History Of The 14th Century
I had an itch in the center of my back. Couldn't reach it. Am not that flexible. Should have used the wooden fork over on the counter but the steak knife was right in front of me so I used it as a back scratcher instead and I think you can see where this is going. No you can't. Nothing happened and I won't require stitches. Actually, with a Zen-like surgical precision I believe I dislodged something. Later in bed I felt that something crawling on my chest and I looked down my shirt and saw a blood-engorged tick lolly-gagging along one of my rib bones. Grabbing it with thumb and forefinger I placed it gently on the bedside table and set it on fire. Although clearly not impervious to intense heat they are not really that flammable, blood-engorged ticks, and it now sits still, still on my bedside table, dead as a doornail, which is an expression without certifiable meaning, dating back to the 14th century.
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