The Chief In Charge
We have a balcony overlooking the dumpster here at the 8th Ave Inn in Seattle and if Bernadette knew it was me that lost that hubcap on the rent a car she would lock me out here as punishment with nothing more than my laptop picking up the wireless signal from the Hurricane 24 hour cafe and a rather prodigious childhood-developed talent for climbing down from balconies. If she even suspected it was me she would make me sit out here and think about where I lost it. I think it's probably in that parking lot in Anacortes where I ran over the curb while she was grocery shopping. I just remembered that. When we first noticed it missing, on Orcas Island, I was as dumbfounded as she but now it seems probable that it is in Anacortes. Bernadette will probably be punished by the rent a car company, as if the Ford Focus is not punishment enough.
Going tonight to see the Mariners play Boston at Safeco Field. Look for us midway between the first base line and the right field fence, in section 115, row 35. I will be the person ducking the foul balls.
Bernadette wants to go see a Gehry building now, yes dear, and some other stuff and then have a nice greasy bowl of Chili at Mike's.
I have been disparaged as navigator and relieved of all duties and now am in charge of picking up trash from the floorboards of the rent a car. The good thing about this duty is that I can drop trash on the floorboards and when Bernadette gives me that look I can toss my chief in charge of car garbage title back at her. I'm going to see if I can get a badge today and maybe a hat, or better yet a hat with a badge on it and then I will be such an intimidating force to deal with that I expect Bernadette will be cowering in my presence, even as I throw Almond Joy wrappers on the floor.
Last night I got dangerously drunk on one martini and a half bottle of Oregon wine and spent a couple of hours in the motel room trying not to throw up. I was successful but it wasn't pretty. I'm feeling much better now.
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