Business One Seven
Bernadette, some time ago I dropped you at the airport and as per your request it's exit 9A out of the airport, towards Centerville, and then to 66W and at the hour you will be traveling a couple of weeks from now probably best will be the Gainesville route which is 29S on the far side of Manassas, but you have to remember a few miles in to veer right for Warrenton. You know, during the day I always continue on 66 to 17 towards Warrenton, which is exit # 28. I've warned you about all that daydreaming you are prone to but more than warn you of the dangers I cannot do. For example if you blink and miss exit 28 you will at exit 27 see a sign that says 17/Business and the exit and crossover will look to you, or perhaps even to me--for example were it me making this mistake--exactly like it does at exit 28. I don't want to be too harsh on you, there is nothing inherently wrong with daydreaming, so let's just say it was me making this mistake, and even realizing it right off I continued down the road unknown.
A woman is a couple of steps onto the road removing a giant snapping turtle who was on his way to his own adventure, which in this case turned out to be its death. I veer around her but looking in my rear view mirror see that the turtle has in its jaws her index finger so I pull over and offer assistance. This requires me clamping a big pair of vise grips onto the turtle's neck while the woman screams at me--don't hurt the turtle! It's really too late for that, this turtle is soup. Even near death it's not going to let go of her finger so with no encouragement from the woman I pry open the turtles jaw, with a strength tantamount to lifting a car off of her, which would in my mind have been a preferable feat seeing as how I was to her now just a cold-blooded heartless turtle-killing bastard. A farmer in his field has come over to the fence to watch and I offer to him the fat turtle in exchange for taking the woman and her severed finger to the nearest doctor, explaining to him that I am not from these parts.
I did not exactly spin gravel out of there but pretty close to it and as the road snaked under a lush green canopy and then opened up on hay fields back dropped by mountains, I forgot about the turtle incident and felt coaxed by the scenery into a firm determination for getting lost.
Past a cemetery with frankly a better view than dead people deserve the road narrowed quite a bit and it now seemed as if I were going up someone's driveway. That turned out to be just an illusion though and after a fair distance passing distinctly quaint dwellings I came to a stop sign in the town of Ada. From my brief survey looking left and right it appeared the townspeople of Ada had chosen this week for their annual vacation to the Old Dominion Power Plant Museum.
There was then a tapping on my window and I turned to face on the other side of the glass a freckled-faced red-headed boy who was motioning with some urgency for me to roll down my window. I pressed my face up to the glass and peered down to make sure the boy didn't have a headless snapping turtle with him and only when I was convinced that he did not have one did I roll down my window.
Hey mister, we're having a parade today but we don't got no grand marshal and we need one we can't have a parade without a grand marshal and so you're it we need you to be it. Well this was not something I expected to happen today. This was almost like a reward for daydreaming past the proper exit. I quickly ran through in my mind the catalog of responsibilities for the rest of the day and almost as if he were reading my mind the boy said, come on mister, you can't have anything better to do, you just can't. That pretty well settled it and the next thing I know I'm sticking up through the sun roof of a 2006 Lincoln Zephyr waving, but only from the wrist, and blowing kisses to all the young girls up on their daddies shoulders. The parade only lasted one block and when it was over I was awarded in a brief ceremony the key to the town and a peach cobbler. As I drove off the freckled boy ran along beside me and said make sure you come back next year, you can drive the fire truck. I assured him that I would, but only if I got to run the siren AND the lights.
As I drove on still buzzing from that brief taste of celebrity I saw a sign to place that I knew of and though unsure of where it lay in relation to where I was going, I headed there.
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