This One Isn't
Werner Herzog so loved his little Dieter he made two films about him, one starring Dieter and the other starring Christian Bale as Dieter.
I have seen the former and was watching the latter when a rare thing happened. There was a knock at the door to my kitchen. I could narrow down the knocker's identity to one of very few people.
If I were in NY I would factor in the 67,000 people within my square mile and then deduct the 66,950 people it very likely could not be and then further deduct those that got buzzed in from the street without me being aware of it and then further those that might knock, which frankly would narrow it down to a similar number as to those that might knock in Rappahannock County, Virginia, with its 22 people per square mile, or Person County, North Carolina, with its 91 people per square mile, each of these places having doors that open, if not exactly into a kitchen, pretty darn close to it.
The preceding was me fleshing out with numbers another short tale, but one that has little to do with numbers of people and also little to do with the suspense suggested by the phrase, "a rare thing happened," or for that matter doors that open into kitchens. It has to do with numbers of squirrels. Not that I mean to determine ahead of time that a tale about squirrels cannot be suspenseful, but to ruin it for you--this one isn't.
I am in North Carolina and it was Johnny Woodman. I could have told you that from beginning but unlike Johnny Woodman,who got right to the point of asking could he come over here (here being across the road from his house) and shoot squirrels, I, haven't really decided how many words I wish to use regarding squirrels, Johnny Woodman, doors leading into kitchens, or rare things and population estimates.
The main thing is, we agreed we did not like possums and would only in the most dire of circumstances eat one. He said he might eat a rat before he ate a possum and I agreed, hesitantly, that I also might prefer rat to possum.
We talked about some squirrel recipes and I thought the one he wasn't sure of, the one that his grandma used to cook, sounded quite tasty and had me wishing he would kill and cook one sooner rather than later. I knew his grandmother. She lived in that house across the road when I was out here last, fifteen years ago. We used to talk. Or she did and I listened. I know some things about her. Nothing unseemly. It is not my intention to lead you on with promises of unseemliness. Its just funny how people say things and some of those things get stuck in your head forever.
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