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- jimlouis 3-18-2008 9:43 pm [link]
Breakfast On Houston
The woman at the next table said she didn't like it when it rains. She was into sunny days. Bernadette forgot her reading glasses and so did I. Instead of walking up five flights to retrieve them she had gone into the basement and picked up some spares. Mine weren't strong enough. I could read the menu ok but not the newspaper. Bernadette read with reckless abandon. I picked up various sections and read all the headlines. In short, the world is in trouble but there is March Madness to look forward to.

I also like sunny days.. I wasn't about to disagree with the woman. The woman's friend had opinions but spoke them quietly and seemed to accept her role as spring board for the thoughts of others.

I ordered The Lumberjack--two eggs, pancakes, bacon, ham, and sausage. Bernadette had two over easy and some kind of grain which I've seen her order before but am not myself knowledgeable about.

The thing is, the woman explained, I don't like phony people. Her friend didn't either. I had to glance over there for the first time to see if maybe she was a Playboy bunny but by all appearances, she wasn't.

I read a headline that made no sense to me but was unable to ferret out any meaning from the microscopic print below. I moved on to an advertisement that promised to make my penis erect for up to four hours. I'll be completely honest with you, I'm not sure I would know what to do with four hours of erect penis. I looked at the fat link sausage on my plate and knew I would not be able to eat it. Give me an Elgin hot gut any day but keep the rest for yourself. I started thinking about a companion manual to erection drugs, an activity guide for people like myself who may be flummoxed by the idea of how to make best use of a four hour blood engorged penis.

Bernadette read something funny and laughed. I did not ask what it was because I was afraid it would lose something in translation. The woman who wasn't a Playboy bunny had moved on to politics and she felt that politicians should be more honest. I had a muscle spasm and nodded.

A couple came in and sat down in the booth behind us. The man seemed eager to please and the woman acquiesced to his eagerness.

I haven't really decided which of the college basketball teams I will be rooting for because I can't read the fine print.
- jimlouis 3-13-2008 7:16 pm [link]
Pick1
- jimlouis 3-12-2008 4:22 am [link]
Virgin(ia) No More
It seems like just weeks ago (because it was) that she played like an innocent little kitten in her cardboard boxes, and batted catnip infused stuffed mice in the air and generally exhibited behavior that could only be described by the most curmudgeonly as not cute.

And then there were some scheduling snafus and I didn't get her over to the vet soon enough and she became something like a woman but not a woman in the good sense and the few people that know her out here, including me (but I'm trying to understand), have started calling her a slut.

It's nature happening and there is nothing slutty about nature or if there is it's slutty in a good way or slutty in a necessary way. We need to stop calling her a slut I think. She is still cute and the fact that she was seen rolling around seductively on the back porch yesterday evening while two big-headed scarred up Tom cats licked there lips should not be seen as evidence that she is not cute. In fact she may now be considered really cute or cute as in hot or cute in the way that is considered a compliment to adolescent girls.

I was worried about her and didn't sleep at all that first night she didn't come in. It was pretty cold out and she has always been kind of take it or leave it regarding the great outdoors. I was sure she had foolishly tangled with one of the super-territorial foxes out here and I pictured myself finding her mutilated carcass lying under the dogwood tree.

She wasn't dead though she was just out late with the boys making those weird guttural noises, with her tail high and inviting in the air.

I had her scheduled for the spaying this past Monday, before all the sex started, but having her spayed and then going out of town the next day seemed incautious so I rescheduled for next Monday.

Bernadette has been making slut jokes about her and I think it is starting to affect the cat's self-esteem.

We were at a bar last night and ran into Lorina who has cat-sitted for me once before and I told her about the recent activity and Lorina said she was a slut. I said well I'm glad she at least got to experience sex before the spaying and Lorina said yeah so she can know what she's missing for the rest of her life.

I think the once and previous kitten will be better off for it though and that the knowing look that adult cats often pretend will in the case of my little Virginia be well earned.
- jimlouis 3-11-2008 6:34 pm [link]
deerva
- jimlouis 3-08-2008 6:04 pm [link]
Intermission
Like a man possessed (by bad judgment) I went outside at 6 this morning to retrieve the vacuum cleaner from the bighouse up the hill. I had dressed hastily and the 13 degree temperature made my head ache as if I had drunk the cheap rum in trying to keep up with Albee's George and Martha.

Oh that sly bastard Mr. BC, sure he knew that I would get down to the cheap rum eventually. It was all part of his master plan and no doubt he has been smirking since that day he tricked me into drinking his 200 dollar bottle of scotch, waiting for my descension. Oh, how did I not see this coming? Well played Mr. BC, well played.

Anyway, I thought I was going to die, that my head was going to split open right there on the sidewalk lugging that 600 dollar vacuum cleaner which if you ask me for that price should never break unless you drop if from a ten story building. I put it in the back seat of the Jeep. Step one completed, or two actually if you're into making a simple task sound a lot harder than it is and by doing so puffing up your imagined worth to an audience that includes one small cat and some geese.

What was step one? Does it really matter?

There was no Pulitzer awarded for drama the year the play came out because Albee's language was too harsh for the times, and to award anyone else the prize I think would have considerably devalued the committee's standing. Two years later a movie version came out and the language was adjusted somewhat so that Martha's frequent attacks on George came out--Goddamn you George, instead of Screw you George. When I was growing up I always thought that screw you was a polite way to say fuck you and as befits my upbringing I tried to stay at a level of politeness. Goddamn though I thought would bring down bolts of wrath from heaven and even to this day I try to avoid the use of that word.

After a couple of large drinks (George has been through several 8 ounce tumblers by this time) it came to me that the actors were probably just drinking colored water. My head was spinning uniquely and I lost my focus on that amazingly well crafted script. I was of the opinion that I should be listening soberly so I paused the movie and where we are now is the intermission.
- jimlouis 2-28-2008 5:03 pm [link]
Moby Dick
It seemed like two different movies, the one in which Orson Wells climbs a rope ladder to a pulpit mimicking a ship and the one where Richard Basehart says call me Ishmael (which I will if you ask but could you work harder to make me believe that you are).

Although the acting was sufficient to convey the story and the screenplay by Ray Bradbury and (co-writer and director) Huston was well done if by necessity pared down a bit lean, I feel the potential of this being a great movie, while approached, was not reached.

It could be that the expectations raised by Wells as Father Mapple were too high for any project to live up to and it is therefore no fault of Gregory Peck that I kept thinking throughout the movie--Gee, he sure is no Orson Wells.

It was good clean fun though and I'm certainly not regretting that it is what I chose to help me while away yesterday evening.

I could say one great fish story reminds me of another except that whales aren't fish and the story I am reminded of isn't that great, nor does it include that many fish.

I can never seem to escape during periods of deep reflection the Fishorama on the former Lake Lewisville north of Dallas. In fact, as often as not if you see me lost in thought or you ask me what I'm thinking about (and I say nothing) I am probably thinking about the Fishorama. It is where I go to visit my father who has been dead coming up on 15 years. And it was 20 years or more before that that we were at the Fishorama together, which was an enclosed barn-like space jutting out into the water, with walkways around 16 or 20 rectangular "fishing holes" protected by painted tubular railings. And chairs, there were chairs to sit in if you were not as eager as I, leaning over the railing looking at my reflection and the always predictable bream near the surface, swimming lazily beneath that reflection.

My father was no great fisherman nor did he pretend to be or as far as I could tell, aspire to hooking fish. It was relatively late in my adolescence that I realized he wasn't much of a ball player either and I cringe with admiration when remembering the afternoon he suggested, for the first time, that we play catch. I was 15 and he was sixty-something. He couldn't throw worth a damn, or catch that well, and before I was able to do much damage to his person he admitted as much and then disappeared to the other side of the patio gate. I can imagine he went inside and told my mother of his failure. He was a father of six and a veteran of two wars and a journalist and a political consultant for people both crooked and honest, but he couldn't throw or catch a ball. Some people realize it much sooner but I lived a pretty sheltered life I guess and it was the first time I came to see that grownups were fallible. After that of course it was pretty much an open flood gate and as a wizened 15-year-old I arrived at the conclusion that all grownups, to put it mildly, were fallible.

There he is though, back in 1969 or 70, walking up the floating sidewalk to the Fishorama, alongside that little freckled wisp of boy whose brown head glowed red in the afternoon sun. People were always mistaking him for the boy's grandfather. He got a kick out of that is the way he put it. It was one of the things he could pull off convincingly, which is as good as it gets sometimes, regarding this definition of who a man is. I am not a fisherman, I am not a ballplayer, I am this boy's grandfather.
- jimlouis 2-27-2008 7:31 pm [link]
cat
- jimlouis 2-26-2008 4:33 am [link]
The Future Of Diving
I quote from a 2005 Forbes Magazine travel feature--"There's no way to experience the legendary bread baskets at The Inn at Little Washington outside Washington, D.C.,...without actually going there."

That statement is not entirely true. I am just now chewing on a piece of brown bread heavily encrusted with salt and caraway seeds, infused with raisons and walnuts, which came from the Inn, and yet, I have never been there. Nor am I diving in their dumpster, which now that I say it I have to ask myself, why not? Perhaps that dumpster out behind the Post Office is not theirs exclusively and would also contain fare from the caddy-cornered Country Cafe and that would be reason enough not to dive.

Every morning a young person in Holstein-patterned trousers arrives at the Post Office across the street from the Inn and fills up a large plastic container with the Inn's left over bread from the previous night. Or maybe the night's before as it doesn't always seem just one day old to me. In any case it doesn't last very long and I suspect in the area professional bread mongers. I was lucky though this morning and the container was full and I took a loaf of the best looking sample. A baguette, in approximate dimension if not texture and ingredient.

Bernadette and I have argued over my mistake of referring to the Inn as a five star restaurant because Michelin only awards 3 stars to top restaurants. The problem, in referring to the Inn as a 3 star establishment is that there is just no record of it. Mobil and AAA (5 star raters) and Zagat's have heaped upon the Inn unparalleled accolades and it shows up on ten best in world and ten most expensive lists but Michelin is notably missing from any press regarding the restaurant. I have to believe there is a story behind that, some past conflict or insult or misunderstanding, but I don't know what it is. Or maybe Michelin just doesn't rate restaurants that are also Inn's and it is as simple as that. Or maybe they have rated it, think it sucks, and this fact is understandably not promoted in press releases by the restaurant.

I know this rating of restaurants is heavy stuff, steeped in history and tradition, but to me Michelin means black stinky rubber and a puffy icon, Mobil means black sludge, and AAA means a broken down car. Zagat's only makes me think of food but I'm sure that is just ignorance on my part and that they may be primarily concerned with deforestation of the Amazon.

The bread was good, Ok? I'm just saying don't go telling me there is no way to experience it without paying 160 bucks a person excluding tax gratuity and drink. And don't go telling me I can't dive that dumpster. This bread isn't going to last all day, or, must I say it, man can't live on bread alone. There are times when what man requires is, in dumpster or upon white table cloth:

A Quartet of Island Creek Oyster Slurpees

Three Varieties of Roasted Beets, Beet Mousse with Caviar and Citrus Salsa

Seared Tuna Sashimi with Daikon Radish and Cucumber Sorbet

Carpaccio of Herb Crusted Baby Lamb with Tabouli and Rosemary Mustard

Lobster Maki, Tuna Tartare and Ceviche of New Zealand Sea Bream

Poached Pullet Egg in Oxtail Consomme with Hedgehog Mushrooms and Shaved Black Truffle

Nantucket Bay Scallops with Mushrooms, Peppers and Homemade Italian sausage

Crispy Maryland Crabcakes with a Trio of Sauces: Garden Sorrel, Classic Tatar and Roasted Red Pepper

A Marriage of Hot and Cold Foie Gras with Homemade Quince Preserves

Macaroni and Cheese with Virginia Country Ham and Shaved Black Burgundy Truffle

Truffle Dusted Diver’s Scallop on Cauliflower Puree

Roasted Eggplant Raviolis in a Tomato Basil Butter Sauce with Medallions of Maine Lobster



Pan Roasted Maine Lobster with Baby Spinach, Grapefruit and Citrus Butter Sauce

Pan Seared Pacific Halibut and a Maine Diver's Scallop with Ruby Port Reduction on Rutabaga Puree with Local Baby Turnips

Beef Two Ways: Pecan Crusted Barbeque Short Rib, Paired with a Miniature Filet Mignon Wrapped in Swiss Chard

Veal Parmesan Reincarnated: Prosciutto Wrapped, Pan Roasted Loin of Veal with Spinach Raviolini and Parmesan Broth

Pepper Crusted Tuna Pretending to be a Filet Mignon Capped with Seared Duck Foie Gras on Charred Onions with a Burgundy Butter Sauce

Medallions of Rabbit Loin Wrapped in House Cured Pancetta Surrounding a Lilliputian Rabbit Rib Roast Resting on a Pillow of Rutabaga Purée

Veal Sweetbreads Braised in Ruby Port on Pappardelle Pasta with Huckleberries and Virginia Country Ham

Our Steak and Kidney “Pie” with Veal Kidneys, Tenderloin of Beef, and Button Mushrooms

Parsley-Crusted Elysian Fields Farm Lamb Loin on Braised Lentils Du Puy with Seared Foie Gras

Artichoke Filled Capeletti "Little Pasta Hats" with a Hint of Mint

Napoleon of Forest Mushrooms

Millbrook Farm's Dry Aged Venison Loin with Caramelized Endive, Pickled Cranberries and Chestnut Puree

What? No I'll pass on dessert, thank you.
- jimlouis 2-22-2008 6:32 pm [link]
c c c
- jimlouis 2-19-2008 2:24 am [link]