New Snow, Old P...
Ok, first, and I'm sure most of you already know this, but--the penis is 425 million years old. There is a lot of seemingly more pertinent stuff on Google News this morning but that's the one I'm bringing home.
It's a good thing I didn't shave my head recently--sure, all freaks think about it from time to time--because I needed something to cover my ears just now on my morning walk in the freezing rain crunching through four inches of fresh snow. Scarfs are good too but Southern boys don't always have a scarf handy so I wrapped my neck in a dirty long sleeve t-shirt. As it turns out I don't have a whole lot to say about my forty acres of virgin snow. It is pretty. It is white. And I don't have a tobaggon. I guess I can always take consolation in the fact that my penis is 425 million years old, give or take.
425 million years old? that sure makes you one old fuck. i dont know if i trust you with all that virgin snow around. scarf? is that some nola street slang for condoms? all this time in the country has done nothing to curb your prurience. your mother and i are very disappointed. and i dont even want to know what that toboggan represents. its so shameful you cant even spell it correctly, or did you?
Why I gotta be able to spell tobbbagin if I don't have one? I must say though, "curb your prurience" is something that--although I like the ring of it--I certainly would not want to try.
speaking of pretty white things, tom "occasionally"moody does not think your girlfriend scarlett is stunning enough for the role of vermeers muse. im sure you would ask for some proof and if i wasnt so lazy i would download resize and reposition but instead here are two links. vermeer/verboten
425 million years, you say? Well, that does a hell of a lot to explain the Aussie-bred "Puppetry of the Penis" that has--according to theatre ads--impressed metropolitan areas across the globe since it's debut. Currently, it's impressing the smallish crowds anxious to peel off $34 at Le Petit in NOLA. It's hailed as the ancient art of genital origamy.
Because this is as close as my wallet allows me to get to the well-hung actors, here's the Gambit's listing of three relevant theatre pieces:
MY JOHNSON SPEAKS. Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carré, Director's Studio, 616 St. Peter St., 522-2081. The comedy investigates and celebrates man's greatest obsession. Fred Nuccio directs Tony Molina, Jerry Lee Leighton and Dane Rhodes. Tickets $26. 7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday. Open run.
THE NUTCRACKER. East Jefferson High School, The Jefferson Performing Arts Center, 400 Phlox Ave., Metairie, 885-2000. Peter Tchaikovksy's classic Christmas ballet. Dennis G. Assaf conducts. Tickets $$12-$27. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday.
PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS. Le Petit Theatre, 616 St. Peter St., 522-2081 or 522-5555. Acclaimed show features two naked puppeteers, Jef Benjamin and Dan Speed, presenting the art of "genital origami." Tickets $34, Tuesday-Thursday & Sunday, $39 Friday-Saturday. 8 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday & Sunday, 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. Friday-Saturday.
Nice as your linked image is, Dave, it's too severely cropped to convey the fragile beauty of Vermeer's subject (and if we believe the movie, his main squeeze). Scarlett Johanson's appeal is being a sarcastic young woman of today, not some timeless icon of loveliness. In the preview she looks more like a pudgy Rembrandt model than this: 
oh yeah, nothing like a nice, pure empty vessel! And I thought Scarlett Johanson was bordering on vapid!
Sure, go ahead, besmirch the vessel.
well, okay. easy target.
She isn't empty, she's loaded. Go, Vermeer!
But based on the preview, I say big boo to the filmmakers for feeling they needed to invent a vapid backstory for this picture. The girl is maligned by her peers, not as an empty vessel but a trollop; Vermeer looks like a pimp and pornographer ("Can you moisten your lips for me, my dear?" as she is posing); complications ensue. We know next to nothing about this artist, but now he'll be forever branded as a skank; when people think of his most Botticelli-like image they'll think she looks like Scarlett Johanson. Art movies suck.
Ok, since we seem to be on the subject of lecherous men and art and the movies made about them I would like to point out that probably the truth of any story is no more accurate than the so called misinterpretation. Fiction attempts to address this and historical fiction attempts to address it under the guise of some historical fact. Either way I probably won't see the movie now because of all the besmirching of my little trollop. Just kidding, I'm sure she probably is vapid in real life (and come to think of it, many of her roles), which is what I'm avoiding inside the movie house in the first place. Similar subject matter: I recently saw for the first time since it's original release, Pretty Baby, it was in the bargain bin at the Culpeper Walmart, and what a different experience that was watching from the perspective of a forty-something man instead of that teenager I was back when. And I have often complained that no one has really gotten the essence of New Orleans on film or in story but the outside shots in Pretty Baby are totally evocative of that essence, so way to go Louis Malle, you really kicked ass on that one.
Oh now I feel bad. I actually think Scarlett Johanson is pretty fabulous, and she'd make an excellent companion for dear jimlouis. As my friend (and mentor in matters of the heart) NanMac would say: go large.
In the spirit of argumentativeness I have been trying to think of an art movie that didn't suck, but I realise I haven't seen any of them cause I'm so sure they'll suck I don't even bother. Scarlet Street with Edward G. Robinson was pretty good, it's the only one I can think of but it's fiction.
I'll contradict myself and throw out Robert Altman's Vincent and Theo. Tim Roth is the most de-romanticized Van Gogh imaginable. Demerits only for whoever painted the "Van Goghs" (Altman didn't get to use any of the originals.)
Scarlett Johanson is not a model. Her looks are quirkier than Vermeer's subject. But she is beautiful. Her face radiates the subtle, yet vibrant expression she potrays on screen. I don't love all of her films, and I'm not thrilled when I see her face all over newsstands. But she is different. Of course, she, like most actresses, is concerned about her image. But she possesses that timeless quality, that genuine earnestness, that few actresses of today display. She becomes the characters and lives the situations. It's so obvious she truly cares about her work. As a young actress, it is comforting to know that young girls who aren't models, but love films for the drama, can go somewhere. I, by no means, want to be Scarlett Johanson. But she has inspired me to be my own personality. At least give her that.
anybody seen this movie?
I'm just glad somebody finally took up for Scarlett.
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Ok, first, and I'm sure most of you already know this, but--the penis is 425 million years old. There is a lot of seemingly more pertinent stuff on Google News this morning but that's the one I'm bringing home.
It's a good thing I didn't shave my head recently--sure, all freaks think about it from time to time--because I needed something to cover my ears just now on my morning walk in the freezing rain crunching through four inches of fresh snow. Scarfs are good too but Southern boys don't always have a scarf handy so I wrapped my neck in a dirty long sleeve t-shirt. As it turns out I don't have a whole lot to say about my forty acres of virgin snow. It is pretty. It is white. And I don't have a tobaggon. I guess I can always take consolation in the fact that my penis is 425 million years old, give or take.
- jimlouis 12-05-2003 3:14 pm
425 million years old? that sure makes you one old fuck. i dont know if i trust you with all that virgin snow around. scarf? is that some nola street slang for condoms? all this time in the country has done nothing to curb your prurience. your mother and i are very disappointed. and i dont even want to know what that toboggan represents. its so shameful you cant even spell it correctly, or did you?
- dave 12-05-2003 3:49 pm [add a comment]
Why I gotta be able to spell tobbbagin if I don't have one? I must say though, "curb your prurience" is something that--although I like the ring of it--I certainly would not want to try.
- jimlouis 12-05-2003 4:01 pm [add a comment]
speaking of pretty white things, tom "occasionally"moody does not think your girlfriend scarlett is stunning enough for the role of vermeers muse. im sure you would ask for some proof and if i wasnt so lazy i would download resize and reposition but instead here are two links. vermeer/verboten
- dave 12-05-2003 4:01 pm [1 comment]
425 million years, you say? Well, that does a hell of a lot to explain the Aussie-bred "Puppetry of the Penis" that has--according to theatre ads--impressed metropolitan areas across the globe since it's debut. Currently, it's impressing the smallish crowds anxious to peel off $34 at Le Petit in NOLA. It's hailed as the ancient art of genital origamy.
Because this is as close as my wallet allows me to get to the well-hung actors, here's the Gambit's listing of three relevant theatre pieces:
MY JOHNSON SPEAKS. Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carré, Director's Studio, 616 St. Peter St., 522-2081. The comedy investigates and celebrates man's greatest obsession. Fred Nuccio directs Tony Molina, Jerry Lee Leighton and Dane Rhodes. Tickets $26. 7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday. Open run.
THE NUTCRACKER. East Jefferson High School, The Jefferson Performing Arts Center, 400 Phlox Ave., Metairie, 885-2000. Peter Tchaikovksy's classic Christmas ballet. Dennis G. Assaf conducts. Tickets $$12-$27. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday.
PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS. Le Petit Theatre, 616 St. Peter St., 522-2081 or 522-5555. Acclaimed show features two naked puppeteers, Jef Benjamin and Dan Speed, presenting the art of "genital origami." Tickets $34, Tuesday-Thursday & Sunday, $39 Friday-Saturday. 8 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday & Sunday, 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. Friday-Saturday.
- rml (guest) 12-05-2003 5:19 pm [add a comment]
Nice as your linked image is, Dave, it's too severely cropped to convey the fragile beauty of Vermeer's subject (and if we believe the movie, his main squeeze). Scarlett Johanson's appeal is being a sarcastic young woman of today, not some timeless icon of loveliness. In the preview she looks more like a pudgy Rembrandt model than this:
- tom moody 12-05-2003 7:46 pm [add a comment]
oh yeah, nothing like a nice, pure empty vessel! And I thought Scarlett Johanson was bordering on vapid!
- sally mckay 12-05-2003 10:35 pm [add a comment]
Sure, go ahead, besmirch the vessel.
- jimlouis 12-05-2003 11:52 pm [add a comment]
well, okay. easy target.
- sally mckay 12-06-2003 8:28 am [add a comment]
She isn't empty, she's loaded. Go, Vermeer!
But based on the preview, I say big boo to the filmmakers for feeling they needed to invent a vapid backstory for this picture. The girl is maligned by her peers, not as an empty vessel but a trollop; Vermeer looks like a pimp and pornographer ("Can you moisten your lips for me, my dear?" as she is posing); complications ensue. We know next to nothing about this artist, but now he'll be forever branded as a skank; when people think of his most Botticelli-like image they'll think she looks like Scarlett Johanson. Art movies suck.
- tom moody 12-06-2003 9:50 am [5 comments]
Ok, since we seem to be on the subject of lecherous men and art and the movies made about them I would like to point out that probably the truth of any story is no more accurate than the so called misinterpretation. Fiction attempts to address this and historical fiction attempts to address it under the guise of some historical fact. Either way I probably won't see the movie now because of all the besmirching of my little trollop. Just kidding, I'm sure she probably is vapid in real life (and come to think of it, many of her roles), which is what I'm avoiding inside the movie house in the first place. Similar subject matter: I recently saw for the first time since it's original release, Pretty Baby, it was in the bargain bin at the Culpeper Walmart, and what a different experience that was watching from the perspective of a forty-something man instead of that teenager I was back when. And I have often complained that no one has really gotten the essence of New Orleans on film or in story but the outside shots in Pretty Baby are totally evocative of that essence, so way to go Louis Malle, you really kicked ass on that one.
- jimlouis 12-06-2003 2:58 pm [add a comment]
Oh now I feel bad. I actually think Scarlett Johanson is pretty fabulous, and she'd make an excellent companion for dear jimlouis. As my friend (and mentor in matters of the heart) NanMac would say: go large.
In the spirit of argumentativeness I have been trying to think of an art movie that didn't suck, but I realise I haven't seen any of them cause I'm so sure they'll suck I don't even bother. Scarlet Street with Edward G. Robinson was pretty good, it's the only one I can think of but it's fiction.
- sally mckay 12-06-2003 9:21 pm [add a comment]
I'll contradict myself and throw out Robert Altman's Vincent and Theo. Tim Roth is the most de-romanticized Van Gogh imaginable. Demerits only for whoever painted the "Van Goghs" (Altman didn't get to use any of the originals.)
- tom moody 12-07-2003 12:08 am [add a comment]
Scarlett Johanson is not a model. Her looks are quirkier than Vermeer's subject. But she is beautiful. Her face radiates the subtle, yet vibrant expression she potrays on screen. I don't love all of her films, and I'm not thrilled when I see her face all over newsstands. But she is different. Of course, she, like most actresses, is concerned about her image. But she possesses that timeless quality, that genuine earnestness, that few actresses of today display. She becomes the characters and lives the situations. It's so obvious she truly cares about her work. As a young actress, it is comforting to know that young girls who aren't models, but love films for the drama, can go somewhere. I, by no means, want to be Scarlett Johanson. But she has inspired me to be my own personality. At least give her that.
- some nieve little girl (guest) 3-23-2004 3:36 am [add a comment]
anybody seen this movie?
- sally mckay 3-23-2004 3:40 am [1 comment]
I'm just glad somebody finally took up for Scarlett.
- jimlouis 3-23-2004 8:16 pm [add a comment]