putin visits bush at his ranch in texas. says hes looking forward to riding horseback with bush around the ranch. unfortunately, bush does not ride. but he can drive.

Doomed Plane's Number Lottery Winner

british pm tony blair has sent not so super secret agent harry potter to afghanistan to wreak havoc at the box office. having worked his magic in kabul theatres, he has moved on to bewitch taliban audiences in jalalabad and kandahar with his cuteness and pluck if not his magic. potter said the covert operation has come as a welcome relief from promoting his movie and merchandising tie-ins.

grateful for the assistance while mindful of the need to spend another 20 billion before the war ends to satisy the defense contractors, bush has issued guarded praise for the movie and potters secret intervention. he has publicly put on a good face and offered potter an open invitation to play t-ball at the whitehouse once all the evil has been wrung from bin laden. however, dratfink has unearthed secret NSA and CIA communiques outlining strategies for countering, kidnapping, cloning or killing potter if he becomes a risk to americas global hegemony.

stock for the gillette company soared on the exchange today at the prospect of an almost clean shaven afghanistan. their new ad campaign plastered on hastily assembled billboards amidst the rubble of kabul extols the virutes of 'gillette: the new face of freedom'. but dont confuse that with lancomes 'le nouveau visage de la liberté' campaign for women. the french beauty multinational have set up make-up booths in mazir e sharif to instruct the afghani women in the art and ritual of face painting. no more blaming the taliban for being dateless on a friday night, ladies!

birds cleared of all wrongdoing in airbus crash. incarcerated rebel flock leaders released from detention. bald eagles breathe easier. audobon society sues over defamation of character for birds everywhere.

america needs this kind of commitment to its olympic sports.

is this picture really necessary?

"If you put your ear to the ground, you can hear the lake draining," said geologist Amy Clifton of the Nordic Volcanological Institute in Reykjavk, Iceland. "It sounds like water going down the sink."

will harry potter melt the titanic or can george lucas make a movie that we all want to see? and what do the sci-fiers make of this spielberg project? i have a feeling this soundtrack will outsell the movie. maybe the movie was made just to push the cd.

20th Century Fox has set the U.S. release of "Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones" for Thursday, May 16 -- "one day earlier than expected" (Variety).

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" will open this weekend "on an historic 7,000-plus screens" (Variety).

The Northern Alliance takes Kabul; the Taliban and Al-Qaeda are pinned down in the mountains and effectively neutralized; democracy is restored; Bush was right, the left was wrong; forget the Saudis, forget Palestine; let's put 9/11 behind us and get back to Britney.

"Study of Disputed Florida Ballots Finds Justices Did Not Cast the Deciding Vote" say the Bush lackies at the NYT. The headline could just as easily have read "Overvotes Put Bush Election in Doubt," but the status quo must be maintained at all costs.

Hollywood helps out with the war effort

O.K., what's the deal? The little I know about art history I've learned from the very well informed people here. Alex, in particular has been quite a good teacher. And I know I learned all about the use of the "camera obscura" by many of the great painting masters (most notably Vermeer?) This was presented to me as a well known fact. But now I keep reading everywhere (here, here, here, here - links from here) that David Hockney has a new book out where he supposedly floats this "new" and "controversial" theory.

Is it really new? Does Hockney have any claim to this idea? Or is this just a rehashed controversy being trotted out to drive book sales?

Sure, I guess watching birds in Central Park can teach you a thing or two, and make for a fine afternoon, but to the geek birder the need for a wind tunnel is pretty clear.

Ken Kesey died today. He was 66.

Peter, I can see your house from here

Let's Roll

does anyone have the address of sarah's opening? i forgot the invite and need to be there by 6...
thanks.

There's been controversy about high tech security devices at 26 Federal Plaza which go unused, or, like the $30,000.00 x-ray machine, get used as coffee holders. My favorite device is decidedly low-tech. It's a convex mirror with wheels on the back, attached to a pole with a flashlight on it, and used to check the underside of vehicles. The only thing lower-tech is the sniffing dog, but we have yet to build a device with that level of sensitivity to odors. Maybe we should use owls for night vision.

The Invisible Library is a collection of books that only appear in other books. Within the library's catalog you will find imaginary books, pseudobiblia, artifictions, fabled tomes, libris phantastica, and all manner of books unwritten, unread, unpublished, and unfound.

Islamic Hip-Hop vs Islamaphobia
(from 1997)

NUKE POP

This isn't rocket science: better not leave that wacky string in the car (I thought it was called 'silly string' - is that an east coast thing?) (via robotwisdom)

Too Close to Call Jeffrey Toobin

Finally saw final fantasy. Cheesy love story mixed in with a so so new age spiritual story. But the graphics are really fun, and the technology depicted is awesome. Very glad I saw it, but if you don't like futuristic information technology gadgets, don't bother...

Well, unless you're really into hair.

Also saw The Gospel according to Philip K. Dick which, despite the very interesting subject, seemed pretty hackish to me. The cartoon interludes are unbearable. I guess hearing Robert Anton Wilson makes it worth it, but just barely. Only for die hard Dick fans, and even they will be disappointed.